HAPPY BIRFDY TO ME

[absolute.despair]

Happy birthday heres some free chicken

 

http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20090430-tows-kfc-coupon-download

[YouMad.GIF]

For real

 

 

Tell em how you really feel

[a/s/l?]

That nigga trying to front like he didn't take that shit to heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh and SSGG,

 

 

I'm pretty sure if you go in a dictionary, look up slayed, you will see Zebrizzle's post.

[southside google gangster]

"hi guys, this is zebradrips here and i wouls really appreciate it if all you guys sent me pictures of your dicks so me and all my transexual homies have something to jerk each other off to.."

 

 

 

a/s/l?: im down..cause god knows no girl IRL would ever want to see my fat pale ass naked.

 

CLIT-CLACK: yo zebra, 2 inches would make the cut right??cuz thats all im workin with

[Tails0nE]

swing and a miss...

[Mauler5150]

Wow this thread went off on a tangent.

 

At ;east your birthday was more exciting than mine AB, I was laid up in bed with the flu all day and am now taking the day off work sick and have to go to the docs. I even have the fucking annoying earache to go along with my sore throat and runny nose. Maybe it is the swine flu?

[TheoHuxtable..]

Does Australia have universal health care?

 

Anyway they say the swine flu might get worse in the southern hemisphere since it's getting cooler. Yeah you should check that out.

[a/s/l?]

"hi guys, this is zebradrips here and i wouls really appreciate it if all you guys sent me pictures of your dicks so me and all my transexual homies have something to jerk each other off to.."

 

 

 

a/s/l?: im down..cause god knows no girl IRL would ever want to see my fat pale ass naked.

 

CLIT-CLACK: yo zebra, 2 inches would make the cut right??cuz thats all im workin with

 

Also,

 

Trying to be sarcastic, or turn it into a joke won't work bud.

 

[abrasivesaint]

Wow this thread went off on a tangent.

 

At ;east your birthday was more exciting than mine AB, I was laid up in bed with the flu all day and am now taking the day off work sick and have to go to the docs. I even have the fucking annoying earache to go along with my sore throat and runny nose. Maybe it is the swine flu?

 

 

just buy a couple pigs, they'll suck up all the death and decay and you'll have nothing to worry about.

 

except how much bacon your gonna get out of it.

[famecrazy]

Does Australia have universal health care?

 

Anyway they say the swine flu might get worse in the southern hemisphere since it's getting cooler. Yeah you should check that out.

 

yeah we do.

[Boris The Butcher]

Is this it? That's what it's all about, Manny? Eating, drinking, fucking, sucking? Snorting? Then what?

You're 50. You got a bag for a belly. You got tits, you need a bra.

They got hair on them. You got a liver, they got spots on it,

and you're eating this fuckin' shit, looking like these rich fucking mummies in here...

Look at that. A junkie. I got a fuckin' junkie for a wife. She don't eat nothing.

Sleeps all day with them black shades on. Wakes up with a Quaalude,

and who won't fuck me 'cause she's in a coma.

I can't even have a kid with her, Manny. Her womb is so polluted, I can't even have a fuckin' little baby with her!

[TheoHuxtable..]

Fredo, you're nothing to me now. You're not a brother, you're not a friend. I don't want to know you or what you do. I don't want to see you at the hotels, I don't want you near my house. When you see our mother, I want to know a day in advance, so I won't be there. You understand?

[Boris The Butcher]

You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah,

you're right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you...

but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not changing.

I like... I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.

[Omniscient]

I'm reloaded! Okay? Come on in here, you motherfuckers! Come on, I'm waitin' for ya! What, you ain't comin' in? Okay, I'm comin' out! Oh, you up against me now, motherfuckers! I'm gonna blow your fuckin' brains out! You think you're big time? You gonna fuckin' die big time! You ready? HERE COMES THE PAIN!

[abrasivesaint]

oh you fucking cocktooth omniscient, i was just gonna post that same fucking thing.

 

but touche for beating me to the punch.

[Boris The Butcher]

I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do.

For instance tomorrow morning

I'll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and...

walk in and see and, uh... if you don't have my money for me, I'll...

crack your fuckin' head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank.

And just about the time that I'm comin' out of jail,

hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma.

And guess what? I'll split your fuckin' head open again. 'Cause I'm fuckin' stupid.

I don't give a fuck about jail. That's my business. That's what I do.

[Omniscient]

You think ambushing me in some nightclub's gonna stop what makes people take drugs? This country spends $100 billion a year on getting high, and it's not because of me. All that time I was wasting in jail, it just got worse. I'm not your problem. I'm just a businessman.

[Boris The Butcher]

I'm not guilty. You're the one that's guilty.

The lawmakers, the politicians, the Columbian drug lords, all you who lobby against making drugs legal.

Just like you did with alcohol during the prohibition. You're the one who's guilty.

I mean, c'mon, let's kick the ballistics here

Ain't no Uzi's made in Harlem. Not one of us in here owns a poppy field.

This thing is bigger than Nino Brown. This is big business. This is the American way.

[TheoHuxtable..]

I don't know what to say, really. Three minutes till the biggest battle of our professional lives all comes down to today. Now either we heal as a team or we're gonna crumble, inch by inch, play by play, 'til we're finished.

 

We're in hell right now, gentlemen, believe me. And, we can stay here -- get the shit kicked out of us -- or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb outta hell one inch at a time.

 

Now, I can't do it for you. I'm too old. I look around. I see these young faces, and I think -- I mean -- I made every wrong choice a middle-aged man can make. I, uh, I pissed away all my money, believe it or not. I chased off anyone who's ever loved me. And lately, I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror.

 

You know, when you get old in life things get taken from you. I mean that's...part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losing stuff. You find out life's this game of inches. So is football. Because in either game, life or football, the margin for error is so small -- I mean one-half a step too late, or too early, and you don't quite make it. One-half second too slow, too fast, you don't quite catch it.

 

The inches we need are everywhere around us.

 

They're in every break of the game, every minute, every second.

 

On this team, we fight for that inch. On this team, we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch, because we know when we add up all those inches that's gonna make the fuckin' difference between winning and losing! Between livin' and dyin'!

 

I'll tell you this: In any fight, it's the guy who's willing to die who's gonna win that inch. And I know if I'm gonna have any life anymore, it's because I'm still willin' to fight and die for that inch. Because that's what livin' is! The six inches in front of your face!!

 

Now I can't make you do it. You got to look at the guy next to you. Look into his eyes! Now I think you're gonna see a guy who will go that inch with you. You're gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team because he knows, when it comes down to it, you're gonna do the same for him!

 

That's a team, gentleman!

 

And, either we heal, now, as a team, or we will die as individuals.

 

That's football guys.

 

That's all it is.

 

Now, what are you gonna do?

[TheoHuxtable..]

All right, that's enough! I want 'em dead, both of 'em. I want this no-face character dead and I want Tracy dead. What's the matter, you bums forgot how to kill people? Doesn't your work mean anything to you anymore? Have you no sense of pride in what you do? No sense of duty, no sense of destiny? I'm looking for generals; what do I got? Foot soldiers! I want Dick Tracy dead!

[Omniscient]

Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do, I swear for His own amusement, his own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. Ahaha. And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughin' His sick, fuckin' ass off! He's a tight-ass! He's a SADIST! He's an absentee landlord! Worship that? NEVER!

[famecrazy]

^I love that movie.

(any given sunday)

[abrasivesaint]

What if I told you insane was working fifty hours a week in some office for fifty years at the end of which they tell you to piss off, ending up in some retirement village hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time? Wouldn't you consider that to be insane?

[Boris The Butcher]

You've got to say, 'I'm a HUMAN BEING, Goddamnit! My life has VALUE!'

So I want you to get up now.

I want all of you to get up out of your chairs.

I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it,

and stick your head out, and yell,

'I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!'

I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows,

open them and stick your head out and yell -

'I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!'

Things have got to change. But first, you've gotta get mad!...

You've got to say, 'I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!'

Then we'll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis.

But first get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it:

 

I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!

[Boris The Butcher]

OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade,

I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play.

In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs

and I blamed it on the dog...

When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids

and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out...

But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then

I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then,

t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa -

and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience.

And then, this was horrible, all the people started

getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

[famecrazy]

Get this through your head you Jew motherfucker, you! You only exist out here because of me! That's the only reason! Without *me*, you, personally, every fuckin' wise guy skell around'll take a piece of your fuckin' Jew ass! Then where you gonna go? You're fuckin' warned! Don't ever go over my fuckin' head again! You motherfucker, you.

 

My bad.

Try this one.

[Boris The Butcher]

So, you are obviously the big dick.

The men on the side of ya are your balls.

Now there are two types of balls. There are big brave balls,

and there are little mincey faggot balls.

 

Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever.

They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action.

And you thought you smelled some good old pussy,

and have brought your two little mincey

faggot balls along for a good old time.

But you've got your parties muddled up. There's no pussy here,

just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman.

Like a prick, you are having second thoughts.

You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you.

and the fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your guns...

 

And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O"

Written down the side of mine...

 

Should precipitate your balls into shrinking,

along with your presence. Now... Fuck off!

[CLICKCLACKONER]

"hi guys, this is zebradrips here and i wouls really appreciate it if all you guys sent me pictures of your dicks so me and all my transexual homies have something to jerk each other off to.."

 

 

 

a/s/l?: im down..cause god knows no girl IRL would ever want to see my fat pale ass naked.

 

CLIT-CLACK: yo zebra, 2 inches would make the cut right??cuz thats all im workin with

 

Your a lame. C'mon my g, dick joke? Fall back ho, you're a fucking accident. Oh yeah, some Jamaican nigga is looking fir his true religions and mesh beater.

 

AB- what happened, no yay?

[SwampFightOner]

No yay? As I saiddddd

 

So I just woke up, and yesterday was fuckin amazing

 

I started the day at a real nice hotel/bar that my friend works at, and drank there for free for 3 hours. After that I went to my parent's crib where my mom made me dinner (steak with mushrooms and peppers, baked potatoe, pancheta wrapped asparagus, and broccoli) and then we did the cake.

 

After that I came home and met up with my girl, who gave me a rub and tug. Chilled at my crib for a few, then around 10 we headed over to my boy's spot for my birfday shindig. Ended up being like 40 or so of my real good friends all just chillin, playing pong, drinking mad vodka, and someone made me another cake so we had a very rousing singing of Happy Birfday. After that I came home, had some amazing sex, got another massage, and passed out

 

All in all I had about 20 beers, 6 or 7 Redbull and vodkas, don't even know how much yak, a bunch of good food, busted a few good nuts, and had one of the best birfdays anyone could ask for

[LEVEL 75 PALADIN]