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earl broclo ESQ

Ask Earl Broclo ESQ. (post meltdown edition)

Should I make this into a Blog?  

20 members have voted

  1. 1. Should I make this into a Blog?

    • Yes
      15
    • No
      2
    • Shut Up Douche!
      3


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earl....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

umad?

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Do you put your hands in the air, and wave them like you just don't care, or do you wave them like you're deeply concerned about it?

 

 

do you have any pictures of testicular catastrophe suckin his own dick?

 

Nigga, you gay.

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T;6297913']Earl what took you so long to remake this?

 

I was kidnapped by terrorists. That is why it was delayed. Terrorists attached to A.S.S and Spitfire!

 

It all started when I was investigating them after MELTDOWN 2009, I was finally capable of surveillance on 4/20/09.

 

willett_415x275.jpg

 

 

Spitfire (Left), who's real name is Wilbur Facruzzi.

 

and

 

AfterSchoolSpecial (Right), who's real name is Montel Dubanowski.

 

Both work at the ol' steel mill, behind Jeb Denson's old place.

 

3727_large.preview.jpg

 

 

It seems they were digging around 12oz, trying to find info on DAO. All we know, as of now, is that A.S.S sent an email to Dick Cheney, with DAO's posts, and possibly a photo of him urinating. Spitfire was the mastermind though, as we came to find out later.

 

On April 23rd, I was following them as they went to an "all boy retreat" in the Montana mountains. I was capable of sneaking in, because I disguised myself as:

 

petersamuelson20090803_0003.jpg

"Official photo from the 12oz. Investigation file"

 

Once inside, I followed them through a poetry reading, a crying circle, and a 50 person group hug. After that, everyone ate a Lean Cuisine and drank a Capri Sun, then it was time for bed.

 

So they had these long narrow rooms full of bunk beds. A.S.S and Spit took a top and bottom deal, and I sat in a chair at the end of the hall. What was weird was when one of the guys asked "do you want a bunk?" and I replied, "No, I'm gunnah stay up and rub one out," he didn't even flinch. He just said "Have a good night."

 

So the lights go out, when all of a sudden I hear this nasty gagging noise, then the foul sound of one vomiting. The lights go on, and I see Spitfire climbing into his bunk wiping his mouth. Then the yelling started. I broke out my Krink paint marker with hidden micro camera instantly. This is what I captured:

 

 

I'm not sure who the topless dude in the beginning of the video is, but someone did yell "Oh no, Here comes Tony girls!" Another point of interest is when A.S.S yells "tomorrow, you're going to clean my shit," he actually means his balls. You can't hear, but in the background someone followed A.S.S's remark with "and by shit he means balls dude!"

 

The video ends when I was kidnapped by Somalian pirates. It was rare to see them so far inland, but they did have a helicopter, and took me far away to a boat off the coast of Mojumajimbu ( a small island not even on the map). That is where I discovered the mainframe that they used to hack into the 12oz database and retrieve all of DAO's personal information. In the process, they destroyed a database and that is how we caught them. After fighting all the pirates, and killing my way out of that hole, I swam 32 miles through shark infested water. I killed two with a mechanical pencil. When I got on land, I instantly got on AIM and told Raven what I found. That is when he closed the site in attempts to save it and had the boat destroyed by the 12oz. F-15 squad.

 

A.S.S and Spitfire are still on the loose though.

 

IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION CONCERNING THESE PERSONS, PLEASE CONTACT YOUR LOCAL FBI OFFICE , THE NEAREST U.S. EMBASSY, CONSULATE, OR ANY TINYCHAT ROOM.

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yo earl, I love doom metal. but i dont even smoke weed. how can I relate to my hessian bothers?

 

If you feel peer pressure to smoke weed, then you are not truly metal. If your friends pressure you to smoke pot, then they are not truly metal. I recommend you all go on a retreat to find your spirit animal.

 

If you don't worship Crom, you are not metal. That is a golden rule to live by my friend.

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umad?

 

 

Nope, but I'm glad we got that one out of the way.

 

Also, the recipe for Etch is:

 

1 egg

6 walnuts crushed

1 minced clove of garlic

A tube of foot pumice

4 purple skittles

1 goat's heart

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Reckon there will be more Lil' Wayne threads?

 

 

Not sure, I think he's not cool anymore. Last time I said a Lil' Wayne joke, someone said "Oh that's so 2006."

 

Then they pissed on my shoes.

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what do you think the future of this forum is?

 

I actually think it's going places. This was just a set back, but people seem to be cool about it. I mean we all can agree it sucks, but no need to let it kill the site. Shit went right back to normal asap.

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what are your opinions on earth week?

 

I'm cool with it, but why should we only do it for a week? I kind of think that's lame. I think it shows have inconsiderate and ignorant human kind it. "Oh the world is melting, and blah blah blah, oh well I'll take a week out of being an asshole to do my part."

 

Fuck that!

 

I take it back, Earth week is Gay!

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do you have any pictures of testicular catastrophe suckin his own dick?

 

No, it's just a photo from behind at the zoo. But officials say he's eating an Italian sausage in a hero roll.

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