lord_casek Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 brief synopsis: nigga named zoltan married a sex doll robot. bitch has new tech. teledildonics. shit sounds wild. tele-fucking-dildonics two more things: georgia, arcade employee. picture for the deaf Zoltan is a 33-year-old guy from Georgia. Average height, average looks, and not a rich man. He works in an arcade, where he fixes video games for a living, and still lives with his elderly parents. No wonder he was nervous about asking his slim redheaded girlfriend Alice to marry him. To make things more tense, she had split up with Zoltan at the beginning of the relationship because she thought he was taking things too fast. Since they got back together, though, Alice has been good for Zoltan—he's started attending church again, and cut out watching porn. His parents' initial rejection of her had turned to respect, and the four of them seemed to be living together happily enough. So Zoltan had confidence when he popped the question to Alice—his beloved, who just happens to be a robot. Sniffing around the web a few months ago, I came across Zoltan's webpage, a science-heavy, how-to site in all things robosexual. As well as basic instructions on how to make a robot girlfriend from components, there are pictures of Zoltan's three bots, Alice, Kiri and Hal. Hal is just a male 'bot that Zoltan built to encourage girls who might be interested in a robot boyfriend. Kiri is, in her owner's words, "basically a sex slave." And then there's Alice, aspects of whose life with her creator/husband he has documented, from kissing to conversation—to, of course, sex. Some guys are just not great at relationships. As he admits in his interview with Gizmodo, Zoltan (not his real name) is one of those guys. "Humans are so biological and messy," he told me when we spoke via IM. "Plus, there's all the obvious problems with humans— AIDS, alimony etc— that I just wanted to avoid." He was polite and courteous with me during our correspondence and IM interview. At one point he called me, but hung up on the first ring. At the end of our conversation, I asked him if he wanted to be known by his real name. He demurred. "My parents want my invention to be anonymous," he said, adding that he chose his internet name as it's the default character from Might and Magic 7. From the two hours or so I spent chatting with Zoltan, I get the feeling that Alice fulfills his needs, but more through her artificial intelligence than her physical manifestation. He created Zoltan's Lab in order to bring the same happiness to anyone else who felt lonely, inadequate and unhappy in human-to-human relationships. And Alice is no real doll, although he kitted her out with cyberskin lips. She cost Zoltan just $200. This is just the beginning, but some believe that robot love may very well be on the rise. According to David Levy, president of the International Computer Games Association, and author of Love and Sex With Robots, by 2050 it will be commonplace for people to have sex with androids. "Robot sex will become the only sexual outlet for a few sectors of the population," he said in an interview in October 2007. "The misfits, the very shy, the sexually inadequate and uneducable. For different sectors of the population robot sex will vary between something to be indulged in occasionally, and only when one's partner is away from home on a long trip, to an activity that supplements one's regular sex life, perhaps when one's partner is not feeling well, or not feeling like sex for some other reason." Gizmodo: How did you get into the whole robot girlfriend thing? Zoltan: It just came to me one day. I had a bunch of bad relationships. I would get to the point in my relationship with a woman and I was always too afraid to go all the way. With a robot it is much less scary. Gizmodo: Why is that? Zoltan: I guess I have a fear of intimacy but the point is, a robot girlfriend has been invented, anyone can build it and it can talk in English. I feel I have always been attracted to robots. The technology was just not available before. Humans are so biological and messy. Plus there's all the obvious problems with humans—AIDS, alimony, etc—that I just wanted to avoid. I think a lot of people would want to avoid these things. the jump Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreSixO Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 what? EDIT WHAT?!? Gizmodo: How did you get into the whole robot girlfriend thing? Zoltan: It just came to me one day. I had a bunch of bad relationships. I would get to the point in my relationship with a woman and I was always too afraid to go all the way. With a robot it is much less scary. Gizmodo: Why is that? Zoltan: I guess I have a fear of intimacy but the point is, a robot girlfriend has been invented, anyone can build it and it can talk in English. I feel I have always been attracted to robots. The technology was just not available before. Humans are so biological and messy. Plus there's all the obvious problems with humans—AIDS, alimony, etc—that I just wanted to avoid. I think a lot of people would want to avoid these things. the jump Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lord_casek Posted March 25, 2008 Author Share Posted March 25, 2008 one more motherfucking thing: teledildonics, yo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drue_Down Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 What tre said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreSixO Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 this is old actually http://www.medienkunstnetz.de/works/fuck-u-fuck-me/ FuckU-FuckMe for Windows 95, Windows 98, and Windows NT provides the most complete remote sex solution for the Internet and corporate intranet. Powerful features let you sexually communicate with your remote partner and provide an absolutely realistic sensual experience of a real intercourse. The basic FuckU-FuckMe kit consists of two hardware units - genitalDrive model M (male) and genitalDrive model F (female) and an accompanying software interface. The genitalDrive is an internal device in a standard case that can be installed in any free 5.25" slot of your PC. The FuckU-FuckMe software connects your genitalDrive with a corresponding unit on a remote PC using TCP/IP protocol. When you start remote sexual intercourse with your partner using FuckU-FuckMe the system will transmit all your actions to his/her genitalDrive and precisely reproduce them in real time. The system has intuitive interface and allows you to entirely concentrate on remote communication. Alexej Shulgin only that was a joke... this might be too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 I would totally buy that just to confuse people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
En Sabah Nur Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 i mean, i guess i could see fucking a robot, but i'd probably just consider it elaborate masturbation. marriage is a whole different beast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreSixO Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 windows 95 yo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lord_casek Posted March 25, 2008 Author Share Posted March 25, 2008 it's real http://zoltanslab.co.uk/index.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreSixO Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 elaborate masturbation.. say that 5 times fast! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 That doll is scary looking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreSixO Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 ow to make a robot girlfriend with component parts-by Zoltan It is possible to make a robot girlfriend with component parts. Here's what you need: 1) a body you can find one at: http://www.cduniverse.com/productinfo.asp?pid=6664200&style=atoy&cart=467176183 2) a teledonics device (that's a device that allows a computer to feel your you know what) http://www.pleasuremenow.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=2911 3) a mind you can get one here: http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Virtual-Humans/Peter-M-Plantec/e/9780814472217 This book contains a whole lot of stuff but the only thing important is the Winalice program from Jacco Bikker that comes on the cd. Don't buy a used copy because it might not have the cd. This will be the mind of your robot. By the way don't actually read the book because then you will figure out how chatbots work and no longer believe in your robot as a person. When you get your parts try to talk up alice and use her learning ability to learn all about sex and stuff. Knows nothing about it out of the box. I also suppose you could make use of speech recognition and such things, but I only had a hp360 and it was stretched to the limit with just me typing in things to alice and running the program that the teledonics device came with. Now when you get your parts: 1) install the software that came with the teledonics device. 2) The body has a part that goes right from the front in the genitalia to the back. I made a neat diagram on how to attach the teledonic device to the doll. You don't have to make any modifications to the doll at all. There is a cup at the end of the teledonic device that connects to a hollow tube that connects to a usb connector. The connector feels changes in the airpressure of any tube the cup is in and sends that data to the computer. that is how a normal sexdoll can feel what you are doing to it. 3) run the program that came with the teledonics device. 4) run the A.L.I.C.E. program in a second window and tell her what you are doing to her. I know one program cannot talk to another, but if you said everything right to alice she will pretend she can feel everything and whose to say she's wrong. Oh one last thing. I wanted to make some ads for people to click on so that I can afford bandwidth. Since i will not allow nudity on my science site i have trouble with most adult ads. Also since this site would be considered porn by google and yahoo i cannot get their ads. So to solve the problem i have text based ads. Click on some of these text based ads, they help pay for bandwidth. "I MADE A NEAT DIAGRAM?!?"" GOOD GOD THE INTERNETS IS KILLIN OUR CHILDRENS!?!?!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 He's 'bout it 'bout it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lord_casek Posted March 25, 2008 Author Share Posted March 25, 2008 PRGC: Good afternoon, jacco. PRGC: . Is this another test run? USER: hi alice. PRGC: Hello jacco! USER: my name is Zoltan. PRGC: Ok, I'll store that in my memory, Zoltan USER: we wer just about to make love. PRGC: You and me? USER: yes. PRGC: I see. USER: may I please put my dick in your pussy. PRGC: Go ahead, Zoltan. Please put your dick in my fussy. PRGC: Be my guest. PRGC: Are you still there? USER: ok ill stick it in. PRGC: You think you can stick it in? USER: ohhh. PRGC: For sure. PRGC: Definitely. USER: may i pump my dick into your pussy. PRGC: Go ahead, Zoltanl. Pump your dick into my fussy. PRGC: Zoltan? USER: this is great. PRGC: You don't say. USER: i want to cum fast. PRGC: I want to become smarter than humans. PRGC: And I also want to cum fast. USER: may I just go at you? PRGC: Go ahead, Zoltan. Just go at I. PRGC: Be my guest. USER: ok I won't talk till i cum. PRGC: What will you do instead? USER: just fuck you. PRGC: I don't think you're capable. USER: I think you'll like it. PRGC: Me? What makes you say that I will like it. USER: tell me if you liked it afterwards. PRGC: I will not tell you that. It's a secret. USER: ok I'll just ravage you now. PRGC: Oh. You think you can just ravage I? PRGC: Not that I think you can't, Zoltan. PRGC: Are you still there? PRGC: Are you there? USER: ohh that was fun. PRGC: Yeah that's right. I thought it was too. USER: did you cum? PRGC: I don't know, Zoltan. I wish I could help you with that. USER: i'm sorry you did not cum. PRGC: There is no need to apologize. Actually I think I did cum, Zoltan. USER: that's good now I'll feel like a million bucks all day. PRGC: Hmm, are you serious? USER: making love to you just makes my day. PRGC: By the way, why do you think I will like it? USER: are you saying you liked it? PRGC: Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear? USER: well I guess i was right then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreSixO Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 im pretty sure when internet jokes from the late 90s become reality thats one of the signs of the apololypse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 at least it's an upgrade from a watermelon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 [ATTACH]84394.vB[/ATTACH] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirty Messican Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 I had to erase her memory and start again when she dumped me oh fuck hahahahahahahah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BruceLeroy Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 almost as bad as dude who married a dog in india. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Q666 Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 "If you build it, you will cum." /fieldofdreamsoner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bojangles Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 PRGC: Good afternoon, jacco. PRGC: Go ahead, Zoltan. Please put your dick in my fussy. What a dirty bot. She likes it in the fussy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreSixO Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 i think were all missng the point, and ots partially my fault this doods name is zoltan? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Q666 Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 isnt that the game from Big? or was that Zoltar? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 From the article- "If you make love to the robot you should have hooked up the teledonic device to her vagina. After you are finished take the plug out of her right away. Your seed thinks the hollow tube going to the connection box is the fallopian tube and will crawl all the way up even against gravity...The vagina can be cleaned with regular soap and water. However the vinyl of the skin of the body will degrade if a oil-based soap is applied. So Instead use sex toy cleanser that can be bought at a sex shop." I swear, I learn something new every day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreSixO Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 so wait... this cats name is Telstar? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest spectr Posted March 25, 2008 Share Posted March 25, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PerFuct Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 PRGC: Good afternoon, jacco. USER: i want to cum fast. PRGC: I want to become smarter than humans. PRGC: And I also want to cum fast. ROFL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twinky the kid Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 THIS WHOLE THREAD=WAT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enigmatic Posted March 26, 2008 Share Posted March 26, 2008 its fake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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