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Perennial Singles


Weapon X

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You're a single dude who gets laid here and there. You're not a hurtbag. In fact, you're polite, very charming, and like to have fun.

 

So why is it that those few friends of yours who are straight up locked down with ugly, obsessive girls, think you get "too drunk", even though they have a far worse history, and you're always covering for them?

 

Fucking jealous cockblocks.

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You guys just made me read my post ten times and I still can't see where I spelled "you're" wrong.

 

Hayabusa is just fucking with me, i think.

 

 

Yeah, gooch...i feel like I can't escape it. I have my very, very close friends who would never make false accusations like that against me, but somehow I've made a horrible rep amongst the reform cases who're all in "relationships" that are tantamount to having their balls chopped off.

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  • 2 weeks later...

This describes about a quarter of the people I know. I'm actually happy being single, and when I say so they take it personally and start commenting and saying shit like, "Well, if you're so happy, then why do you drink so much and seem down on other stuff etc..."

 

I said I was happy being SINGLE, not happy all the time. Or about everything.

 

I'm definitely happy that they're happy, but some people can't find a balance and get domesticated way too easy.

 

Oh....and who do you think they call when they're having trouble with the ol' ball and chain?

 

(Hint- It's not Ghostbusters.)

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And all of a sudden, the local pub where friends meet to hang out is a hell hole.

 

Yeaaaaahhhh, and sitting on the couch eating Haggen-Dasz every night is exactly what everyone should be doing. No thanks, I'm gonna go play some tennis, then hit the bar to share a few laughs with friends and watch the game.

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OH, OH, the best - I almost knocked this guy out. Plus he owes me money.

 

 

Comes to my bar to grab something off me. Sees me talking to a girl I know. Lovely girl, too.

 

But dude's girlfriend is a fat ass, insecure, psycho. He knows, everyone knows it. No one feels bad for him.

 

He says, of course, in front of his very insecure, horribly unattractiive girlfriend (I posted pics of her in the myspace thread), "Dude, why are you talking to this fucking slut?"

 

Mad dudes get up because you don't say that shit about a nice girl, and it took a lot for me to not want to fuck him up. Instead, I had to keep dudes off of him and give him time to get the fuck out of there.

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A lot of my friends wife down ugly bitches but talk shit on the god cus I don't make it my main purpose in life to seek out womensz. Sorry I have had tons of personal issues that needed to be addressed before I could ever invest any time into worrying about someone else. I'd rather be single and focus on getting money and being mentally healthy than wife some sub-par girl just for the fact that I can have pussy to beat every night and claim that "I have a girlfriend." Fuck outta here.

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OH, OH, the best - I almost knocked this guy out. Plus he owes me money.

 

 

Comes to my bar to grab something off me. Sees me talking to a girl I know. Lovely girl, too.

 

But dude's girlfriend is a fat ass, insecure, psycho. He knows, everyone knows it. No one feels bad for him.

 

He says, of course, in front of his very insecure, horribly unattractiive girlfriend (I posted pics of her in the myspace thread), "Dude, why are you talking to this fucking slut?"

 

Mad dudes get up because you don't say that shit about a nice girl, and it took a lot for me to not want to fuck him up. Instead, I had to keep dudes off of him and give him time to get the fuck out of there.

 

Cut dude off. He calls you for a favor, tell him to think about what he said.

 

You should have pimpslapped him repeatedly in front of his girl and the girl you were talking to.

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Another thing. I know a guy who just got brutally dumped and cheated on by his girlfriend of seven years.

 

She had been cheating on him with some co-worker for over six months, but came home and told him she loved him every night.

 

So dude finds out the very same moment she dumps him and kicks him out of her and her mom's house, where he was living (and paying for most of the rent and food and other bills).

 

After me giving him advice that he should probably avoid seeing her too often for the next while so he can appropriately move on, he goes and calls her and asks her out on a date.

 

She laughs at him and says "NO!"

 

I tell him again, "move the fuck on".

 

He tells me that I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about because I've never been in love like that before, and that he's going to sit and wait until she gets her senses back.

 

 

Yeah, well, I must really know NOTHING about relationships, seeing as how I haven't been dealing with a girl who's been cheating on me for the last six months, tore my heart out, and then am sitting here waiting for her non-return.

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My guess is that when they get behind on rent and bills, she'll call him.

 

What did the mom say? Her daugher is a dumbass...she killed the goose that laid the golden egg.

 

*edit- I love when I get the call back a few months later saying "I miss you, let's _____." I always tell them to fuck off. They say I'm mean, I tell them to fuck off again.

 

Also, it's hilarious when they call back and act like everything is cool. I quickly set them straight then get back to what I was doing before.

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Yeah, I know.

 

The mom is extremely upset.

 

But the good thing for the daughter is that when cottage season rolls around (his family owns an amazing cottage and land through inheritance), she'll come back to him, and won't even have to crawl. He asks her out on a weekly basis and she weekly says no. But she comes over to his new apartment and flirts and smokes weed with him every other day.

 

But I'm the dysfunctional one because I'm a happy single.

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Yeah, I recently heard through the grapevine that this girl that I cut off who then went on to date my old roommate for a year, has dumped him and is trying to get a hold of me.

 

Which is funny because I live in the same town and have the same email/AIM as I did when we were dating...if she expects me to come to her, she's going to be waiting a long time.

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I love how girls can make things reach you through the grapevine.

 

And Mamz, that is a very, very flattering picture of her. She really is hideous and huge. And extremely manipulative. He has no friends anymore because every single person he knows lost ALL respect for him for getting with her and - she's pregnant now. HA!

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Yeah, all hail and praise the Grapevine. Not to mention the fact that I heard that fourth hand from someone who lives in a city two hours away.

 

I'd have a lot more respect for this person if they came to me and said, "Gee I really fucked up, and I'd like a chance to make it right if you're willing to give it to me."

 

The whole message implying that "she's single and misses me" is...well, I get the hint, but I'm far from interested. She obviously hasn't grown up enough to step to me like an adult, she has to have other people do it for her.

 

No thanks.

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