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I should be in jail right now.


MOE-LESTER

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for nothing major, but i would be looking at 2 weeks plus a shit load of fines and way more headaches than i need right now.

 

 

 

when the cop asked me if i had a license suspension and or warrants, time froze for a second.

 

 

i said no, and then proceeded to lace the officer with every known number and fact of my younger brother, down to the last 4 digits of his social, which ive memorized. im only 20, born in 88, blah blah blah, my DL# should read something like 635blah blah blah. he wrote it down and walked back to the cruiser.

 

 

would he know? will i be going to jail today with the enhancement of lying to a cop?

 

 

 

he came back to the car, asked one more verification question about an address, and sent me on my way. on the way driving back, i happened to pass a man getting his car searched and towed by several cops. talk about a fucking sign from god. it also helps that the bucket i drive is officially, (in the dmv books) my brothers car, even got a liabiility policy for my brother, even though he lives 2.5 hours away and never drives it.

 

is it my slickness, or am i just fucking lucky. whatever it is, i am grateful. i got a nice fucking wakeup call today.

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i just got out of jail. actually thats not exactly true. I just got out of rehab. i was in jail from last feb to december and i was in rehab from december till yesterday. now i got a tether on my leg. so thats where i been. I see some familiar names. considering my house arrest status i may be in and out of the forum for the next 6 months. holla atcha boy

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fuck having a record for real.

 

 

thank you mother, for giving me a younger brother with an exceptionally sqeaky clean record. my little bro doesnt even have a speeding ticket on his file. i called him right afterwards too.

 

 

 

short of actually carrying around a fake ID and passport with his name on it, in the last 6 months i have assumed his identity. i slipped up and got pulled over and tested for the first time today, but i worked out this possible scenario in my head over and over again beforehand and it really paid off. be prepared!!!!!

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when he was back in the cruiser checkin the info down, i quickly emptied my wallet of all my IDs and credit cards and stashed them in a cd book in case he decided to search me. that would have looked real good, "why do you have all your older brothers id cards in your wallet? step outside the car son."

 

 

i was trippin balls for a second. i dont even know the penalties for lying to a cop but id imagine its not a fix it ticket.

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this reminds me of my buddy back in highschool

 

he used his brothers ID to buy beer and a cop asked to see his ID outside of a convenient store

he rattles off all the info, the cop goes back to the car to check to see if everything is okay

what do you know, his older brother had warrants for his arrest... and here come the hand-cuffs

 

he ended up fessing up and just got a few 100 in fines

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That is just being a thorough mother fucker. Had you not known all that information and had your ass covered then you would be fucked.

 

People call me shady, but who's the one who hasn't ever caught a charge out of ALLLL the shit I did except for 2 measly underage drinking citations when I was 14-16. Always be prepared and on point.

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