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Public Transportation.

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I got so many public trans. stories, dont know where to start.

One time i was on the B7 (nyc) and everytime i took this bus i would see this old ass beaver/squirrel looking dude wearing the same thing every time (dirty beige khakis, stained white tee filled with holes, and black shoes that were held together with duct tape). Dude was strange and smelly but kept to himself, never made anyone really uncomfortable (besides his general hygiene). Well anyway he presses the button for his stop, gets up and after talking one step his pants fall down. I have never seen or smelled anything so rancid. Brown and redish stains ALL OVER the back and piss stains all over the front of his no-longer tighty whities. Felt kinda bad for dude cause you could tell he was mortified. He then pulled up his trousers and got off

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Another time me and my boy get on the Q train toward Manhattan and see this crazy crackhead with a bag full of metal hangers. We sit about 6 feet away from him so we can hear all this nonsense hes talking to this young spanish kid and his girl. Dude puts up with Crackman berating him to his girl for about 3 minutes (guy was askin if he gives her the good dick, does he pack a baby pecker, does he hit ur spot, etc.) then sternly tells him to knock it out. Cracky starts goin harder wit the insults and you could tell the girl was deffinately feeling intimidated. So me and my boy get up (so does her bf) and tell him to chill the fuck out and stop actin a fool cause hes making everyone in the car uneasy. The guy pulls out a bent up hanger and stands on the seat in the corner mumbling about how hes not afraid to use it. As the train was pulling up to a station (prospect park) Crack swings the hanger at the girl. I go to grab him when, BAM, spanish kid breaks a snapple bottle over dudes head and grabs his girl and dips outta the station. Me and my boy start laughin at him and tellin him thats why you shouldnt speedball and smoke meth, then switched cars and had to wait half an hour cause Crackster was leakin bad and screaming for someone to call the cops.



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once, me and my homie were riding on the 54 bus in Chicago from the northside to the southside and a pimp type dude came on the bus. my homie and I were sitting on the seat right behind the back door with the little wall blocking the back door, but this dude and his hoes went to the back and proceeded to shoot up some shit in their arm. then they got up somewhere on the west side and we proceeded to go to the spot. then once in seattle me and some homies saw some crazy dude talking really loud to himself and causing a rukus.

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years ago in highschool, my best friend and i were riding the bus home.

growing up, we had tons of problems with a certain ethnic group.


dude we had beef with ends up getting on the same bus.

these are the kind of people who are too pussy to fight one on one.

turns out he had a huge problem with my boy due to a previous altercation.

plus i had been jumped by these faggots a few months prior.


this kid is a pussy, starts eyefucking us /nh, and gets on his cellphone real loud saying "guess whos on this bus, meet us at the transit centre, were gonna fuck these kids up, bring everybody."

you know pussy shit.


he turns back to us (hes sitting a few rows up) and is like, "you two are fucking dead, wallah bro, ive got 40 people coming to beat the fuck outta you faggots."


i remember saying something slick back, but not gonna lie, i knew how these dudes do, with like 20 on one stompings and stabbings and shit, i thought we were gonna get it.


my boys just sitting there cool as fuck, with this weird look in his eye.

he whispers to me, "press the button at the next stop."

this was weird to me, because this was neither of our stops, but i decided to go along with it.


so heres dude, sitting a few rows up, now hes put on his discman (remember those) and still got that stupid grin on his face, but hes no longer facing us.

i guess he thought our inevitable asskicking was about to go down, so he was real chilled out.


i press the button, and watch in amazement as my boy in one motion stands up, pulls out a pair of brass knuckles, and sucker punches this kid squarely in the face.


dudes face literally exploded, my homeys a big boy /nh, and dude never seen it coming.

we both ran off the bus before the driver really figured out what the fuck happened.


cool story about fights with lebs when i was 15 bro.

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These urban people were having the loudest most retarded conversation on the bus.

Bus stops,urban folk get off.

Mexican dude moves from the front and sit across from me.

He turns to me and whispers "They're so noisy"

Bus stops, urban dude with headphones gets on and sits behind the Mexican guy and starts rapping out loud.



reminds me of this


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you dudes are mad lucky.

phx buses stop running round 10pm.



most memorble stories involve the same homeless dude.


he regulary rode my college bus route.


dude is obviously a bum.


i saw him countless times on my route, dudes name was roger.


well like i said seen this dude a grip of times on my main route.


one day dude notices i hve a pack of squares in my shirt pocket.


he asks to bum one offa me.

i givehim one, dude is extremely happy over this.

he gives me the low down on his life and why he now a transient.


i sympathize on his situation.

we sorta become friends.


over the following months we regularly see each other on said bus route.


i always give duder cigs and food/booze money in exchange for his stories nd company.


one day in particular, i guess i stared at some random cholo the wrong way.


dude flips and gets in my face on some "wtf u starin at guerro? u trying to get fucked up fool?!"


before i can even tell this fool to chill, roger rolls up out of nowhere and fucking lays this dude out.


dude is cold out doing the death snore.


roger rolls up nd tells me "haha dude caught a bad one fucking with us! fuck that faggot!"


i was so humbled by rogers actions i had him roll through my crib, let him get a decent shower and cooked the dude a proper meal and let hime crash on the couch. we even did two beer runs. got wasted and smoked him out.


dude was a genuine bro.


eventually i stopped seeing him around the lines.


last time i saw roger he told me he was diagnosed with cancer.


i felt so bad, like i lost a family member.


to this day i ride that same route hoping to see his optimistic face.


i never have since.


rip roger.

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i once hopped the lrt (light rail transit) and saw a homeless dude smoking crack sitting on the seat next to me.


this bothered me, as there was a daycare riding this train to some sort of fieldtrip, and the kids on there were mad young.


i launched into this tirade on how dude should have some respect for the younger generation and not expose them to his shitty addictions.


dudes face went from extremely aggressive to completely remorseful.


im sure it was the alcohol/drugs, but he looked at me all teary eyed, and smashed his glass pipe right there in front of him.


told me it was heartwarming for a complete stranger to have such compassion for kids, and that if he had felt some of that in his younger days he may not have turned into the fucked up junkie that he presently was.


he then get off at the next stop, thanked me, and told me this was the first day of the rest of his life, and he was a changed man.


i was completely in shock about this, and although i doubt very highly that dude just kicked hard drugs due to my verbal assault, it was kinda refreshing.


yeah, im kinda a big deal.

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was waiting for the first train from bruges to brussels, 5am posted at the station. me, two business dudes, two tourists, and one dude sitting in the corner rocking back and forth occasionally screeching to himself, loudly. stereotypical crazyjunkie behavior. i get on the train and luckily dude doesnt follow. I have the whole car to myself, stoked to nap and relex. until 3 minutes later when the dude gets on the train after all and, out of all of the cars and levels he could have sat on, (one of those double decker trains) he comes and sits 5 rows away from me rocking back and forth, smelling bad, shrieking.

i really think he pooed himself.


I did not get to nap on that train ride.







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while commuting on a charter bus years ago to some hick town, this black guy in the back was hammered & being loud as hell, alone


midway through, he released a seal-breaking piss onto the ground, & because we were going downhill, it ran along the floor onto everyones luggage but mine (had it on the seat next to me, fuck sharing a seat with you). without surprise, the entire bus broke out into one the worst racial slurs & hate comments i have heard


the fat, middle-aged, sort of hick looking driver pulled over in the middle of nowhere, helped him outside, & took care of him (dude was probably throwing up as well). after helping him back onto the bus, he put him into the front seat, asked him if he was ok, gave him a blanket before taking off again - while everyone else was yelling at him in butthurt anger over his good deed




in an empty vial of faith in man, a drop was restored that day

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Another one...

About two and a half years ago I was waiting for the b3 by kings plaza with one of my boys when we see some drunken guy (turned out to be a pretty infamous writer in nyc) with a paper bagged 24 oz walk by. We see him throw a sticker up on the bus schedule on the pole. So my boy asks him "you write?" and he grabs him by the collar and pushes him against the wall and says "yeah u got a fuckin problem?". So we go on to tell him nah we write too yada yada. He tells us all this shit about studying all the transit maps, bus and train routes, etc. So the bus comes and he asks us if we have change for him to get on, we tell him nah only for ourselves or watever. We get on the bus and he stumbles up the steps behind us (still with his 24 in hand) and asks the driver if he can get on for free. The driver says no and then BOOM dude just hurls his beer at the drivers face, spits on him, threw up another sticker right on the front windshield, and dipped off in a drunken rage.


Needless to say me and my boy were fuckin hysterical laughing during the whole thing...dude also gave us like 100 stickers each, one of which i still have to this day.


Another cool story br0sephus brought to you by AOD

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