the.crooked Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 A girl I go to school with recently went missing. Our school did a shit ass job of letting people know and today her body was found. People are slowly trickling into my house grieving together and whatnot, yet I find myself in an odd spot. While I was not the best of friends with the girl, I most certainly knew her and considered her a friend. Yet I am unaffected. I don't know exactly why I am writing this thread. Perhaps to explore why I have this sort of disconnect from death. Even on the level of empathy for those grieving around me I find it hard to feign the emotional impact that I obviously see in them. It is horrid that this girl died as she did and that my friends must deal with it at an already stressful point in most of our academic careers. I wish I knew why I do death this way. these events only further make me wonder how and why I think the way I do. Iono if any of y'all are from St Louis, but if so then I think you might have heard about this. RIP Dora Magrath Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omniscient Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 R.I.P. Dora Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suca Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 so im assuming youre in highschool? rip dora usually schools do a shitty job about stuff like that on purpose if its suicide, or thats how it went at my highschool and i tihnk it happened like once a year Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Read more existentialism. It gave me an unhealthy nonchalance for death. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishCarBombs Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 R.I.P Dora Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SukiSukiNow Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 everyone deals with death in different ways and at different times. don't be so hard on yourself. p.s. how did your project go? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overtime Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 i find my view on the death is the same, I really does not effect me. It bothers people, and when i talk about it. i think people perceive me as cold. i guess i just have the feeling that it is a natural part of life. I dont know rip dora Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hypergraphia Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 RIP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 The more people I know that die the less it affects me. And yeah, it makes me feel like an asshole too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheepOrDie Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Read more existentialism. It gave me an unhealthy nonchalance for death. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the.crooked Posted February 25, 2008 Author Share Posted February 25, 2008 The fall by Camu is pretty spot on. Existentialism or not. It isn't so much nonchalance. To quite the contrary, it is the reverence for what it is that I think is what forces the perspective I have on it. Anyone from St Louis tell me how the hometown reaction is? I know some kids from here that already graduated that are home there are pretty fucked up bout it all. if anyone finds any information on local news I would be greatly appreciative if you were to share it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the.crooked Posted February 25, 2008 Author Share Posted February 25, 2008 p.s. how did your project go? It goes slowly, but I am making headway. I am taking a pause today to get drunk. Sometimes only the decadence of life can outweigh the egregiousness of death. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BruceLeroy Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 rip dora Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the.crooked Posted February 25, 2008 Author Share Posted February 25, 2008 so im assuming youre in highschool? naw, I am in my fourth year of undergrad. our school is about as small or smaller than most public schools. The community is pretty close knit, so things like this fuck up the whole campus. Two years ago a friend of mine found his of the time girlfriend dead in her room from a Heron OD. The school offered horrible mental health support then too. This year we had a house mate that was having serious issues and we all did what we could to help her, but Hampshire failed to give adequate support and straight up kicked her out as a liability issue. While my school has its merits, it completely blows in this respect. Institutional compassion is almost an oxymoron. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decyferon Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 I think my views on death are a bit fucked up. There are probably 4 people on this planet that I would care about if they died (my ex-wife, my son, my mum and my brother) When I hear stories in the news etc of people dying or going mising it just doesn't bother me I got really annoyed for instance when princess diana died and all these retards in the UK are crying like it was their mum that died, I actually found it offensive like she was more important than anyone else that died in an accident, I found it quite amusing but then I hate the royal family Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eliserx Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 I found out that an old elementary friend of mine hung herself from a tree in my neighborhood during our senior year. I found out that it had happened probably a year later. I wasn't sad as much as I was shocked. I haven't experienced anyone close to me dying but I figure I'd react similarly. It's hard for me to imagine anyone being dead. Guess that means my unhealthy view is that I think people are fucking immortal when they aren't. RIP Dora Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRUNKEN-ASSHOLE-ONER Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 I got really annoyed for instance when princess diana died and all these retards in the UK are crying like it was their mum that died, I actually found it offensive like she was more important than anyone else that died in an accident, I found it quite amusing but then I hate the royal family Word. Just imagine how annoying it was that here in the States everyone was making a big deal about it like they knew the bitch or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decyferon Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Word. Just imagine how annoying it was that here in the States everyone was making a big deal about it like they knew the bitch or something. I was working in a record shop at the time and loads of fucking retards came in buying the Elton John - candle in the wind tune which pissed me off even more cos that was a song (admitidely a shit one) for Marilyn Monroe! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metronome Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 RIP DORA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the.crooked Posted February 25, 2008 Author Share Posted February 25, 2008 Public reverence for lost figures have found more egregious placements of ill spent energy than Princess Diana. The response there can be taken much like that of Americans immediately after 9/11. Yeah, everyone grabbed their flags and put em up, mostly to hollow intent, but the impulse was not ill natured. In societies so desensitized to death and the grandiose impact it has on our social lives, that people gravitate to centralized figures of grieving is no surprise. I seriously doubt that it was only Princess Di that people were grieving when they cried for her. They were taking the socially acceptable moment to stop their lives and grieve along with others about anything worth crying about. Liken it to an orgy but of the more metaphysical sense. How often to we speak frankly about death and how we concieve of it. Only when people die. Take the unfortunate many threads we read on this board about personally related deaths; Everyone cuts their bullshit for whatever time they do, and make a kind comment. At the worst someone states what they genuinely feel in a respectful way detached from the situation being displayed. Counter-intuitively, these threads are the few times I respect people on this board. It is one of the few things that shows hope in an otherwise fucked world. While I may not feel the negative emotional impact of death, its gravity does not escape me. Nor do I think it does of most people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_gooch Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 rip dora. my boy was murdered a few years ago over some drug shit. shit like that is never easy. natural causes, old age, that's one thing, but murder is a whole other story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the.crooked Posted February 25, 2008 Author Share Posted February 25, 2008 The details of her death have still not been disclosed to us. But I seriously doubt self related injuries or natural causes are going to be deemed the cause of this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decyferon Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 The only people I have known to have died have been through drugs overdoses and frankly in that instance I just think stupid bastards. I agree with your comments about people using these high profile losses as a way to grieve for other things, very enlightened of you to say it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 something similar just happened here with this girl she was raped and killed by a serial rapist and her body was left in a field. they haven't found him yet, but some people went a little overboard with things. there were posters of her picture, which read "got brianna?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dosa312 Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 First... that shits fucked met... Second... certain people who are around death constantly become jaded... I lost a brother and 4 close friends to gangster shit in Chicago... not to mention countless others that I knew well but never considered super close. I stopped feeling sadness a long time ago... it was replaced by anger... or nonchalance. Some people find it cold but I have found it is better to just stand quiet rather than try to explain it to them... because they could never understand my indifference. Others... in the south and other areas of the world... do not grieve the dead... they see it a s a passing into a better place and a freeing from the constraints of life... sometimes I will give this excuse if people ask me why I don't seem upset... it makes them feel a little better... all I can say is that you are normal more than you know... and many people grieve just to show others how much they are grieving... rather than out of actual sadness over the loss of the person. Keep your head up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the.crooked Posted February 25, 2008 Author Share Posted February 25, 2008 I think the point about the south is well taken. I wonder if that plays into my conception of it. I think secondarily, when I was little watching my father take care of my grandfather as he progressively sickened with AIDS probably has something to do with my acceptance of the inevitability and impact of death. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Sorry to hear about your friend, crooked. RIP. I've had about ten friends die in the last couple of years. It's starting to get easier, and I'm not so sure that's a good thing. I'll try to get a hold of you on AIM later when I'm done with work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the.crooked Posted February 25, 2008 Author Share Posted February 25, 2008 there were posters of her picture, which read "got brianna?" Commodification of death is another thing I find quite interesting about our current society. I wonder if people put things up like this because their only form of processing information in a tolerable way is through an ironic interaction with our consumer mindsets. That we are so entrenched in our culture of purchasing and creating meaning in how we justify our spending actions makes sense as to why the reaction against it, particularly with something as fundamental to one's self as death, comes in the form it does. People who put up that "got brianna" shit are no different. They do it cus otherwise the inability to empathize with the death becomes too recalcitrant to the apathetic ironies they choose to conceive of life in. My solipsism surely creates an interesting barrier to empathizing with anyone outside of myself, but I do not let it allow me to fall into an inability understand why others are affected. That is what lacks in tactless expression of grieving like the "got brianna" thing. Yeah, people die all the time, yes, matter of fact, but to position it as necessarily trivial betrays their lack of ability to deal adequately with facts of the modern world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mellow Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 thank you for spreading some intelligence to 12oz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the.crooked Posted February 25, 2008 Author Share Posted February 25, 2008 thank you all for letting me think aloud in here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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