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Ways to earn money as a beggar

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1. Pull your pants down and refuse pull them back up again until you get money

2. Put your finger up your nose. Insist that you need money for the operation to remove it.

3. (For the guys) Take off your shirt. Draw a nipple in the middle of your chest. Insist that you must have funds to finish the operation for your "unit-breast".

4. Latch onto somebody’s leg with your mouth. Have a sign prepared: "I'm going to eat one way or the other, its up to you whether its here or at that Mcdonald's"

5. Pretend your blind. Wander in front of cars holding a foam cup.

6. Sell your hair.

7. Get a guitar, open up the guitar box and sit on the corner. Hold a long, loud scream for as long a possible. Stop, breathe, pluck one guitar string, repeat.

8. Walk around putting your hand in people's pockets.

9. Hold out a cup and say, "I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse...but I have no money". If a mounted police officer rides by, eat his horse. Then, insist that he give you some money.

10. Try to walk behind somebody as close as possible. Walk in rhythm with that person and pretend that they're not even there. Hold out your cup.

11. Look for other street beggars about a block away. When you see somebody take out change for them, get a fast running start. Run at the person as fast as you can with your forehead. If you hit the change hard enough, the change will inbed into your forehead, of course making it rightfully yours.

12. Constantly have people gather around so you can tell them about the great mayonnaise shortage of '78. Plead to them, "I don't know how I ever made it through, It was a horrible, a horrible time. I couldn't get any mayonnaise, man. I could use some spare change."

13. Sing at the top of your lungs, with your voice cracking every chord. Tell people you need a new voice box. Ask people to put money into this cardboard box that you claim is your old voice box.

14. Stand completely still, like a mime, and wait until some kids come along doing funny things to get you to move. Then, look at them, and kick them right in the knees. Proclaim to the people around, "Thank you very much, my impression of the impatient mime." Hold out your cup.

15. Sell any lost children that you find wandering by

16. Infiltrate the CIA. Gain access to all the top secret information. After you have full access to the nuclear codes, go and sit on the street corner and demand money. Everybody will take you seriously. If they refuse to pay your ransom (set at "any loose change they might have") blow up the state of Wyoming.

17. Pretend like your selling Rolex’s, and when people come to buy them, just say, well I'm all out of watches..but I could use some spare change.

18. Proclaim to be the only honest street beggar in the city, and say, "I won't lie to you, with the change you give me I'm going to go buy booze, but come on, nobody's perfect." Offer to share some of the booze you have now.

19. Don't wear any shoes, and tell people they were eaten off by giant street rats, tell people with each "donation" that they make, one giant street rat will be killed.

20. Attract the kids with a cage full of giant street rats. Charge admission to see them.

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Guest WebsterUno

~meep meep~


Ever seen the Silver Robot Guy in

Frisco? Thats the best attempt at

getting some spare change Ive ever

seen. That and the str8 up approach.

I had one guy tell me, "Man, Im thirsty"

Eyes bloodshot, he says, "and I dont

want water, c'mon homie, got some change?"

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I am all about helping people who are honest in their begging. Signs I recently saw and stopped to give money to the holders of said signs.


"Need money for tickets to White Zombie" - actually got off public transpo for this one


"I am ugly. Nobody likes me, I need a beer."


My all time favorite

"Need money for beer, pot, and hooker. At least I'm not bullshitting you."

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way better than the silver guys...


this dude rips a large branch from a tree and hides behind the foliage on a busy sidewalk where thousands of tourists pass daily. People who know the joke stand around and watch, even from across the street, as the bush man jumps up from his camouflage shaking the branch around yelling at the top of his lungs scaring the shit out of unsuspecting victims. Pure comedy, he got my buck for sure. I imagine on a busy weekend he pulls in at least 50 bills if not more. That = lots of free booze for everyone!!

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the champ is the best damn begger ever.. he is in harvard sq in front of that 7eleven. man this guy has more expensive clothes than anyone around.. he stands there yelling "CHANGE FOR THE CHAMP! CMON HELP A BROTHA OUT WITH SOME CHANGE!" when you give him money, he talks to you for a second and says something along the lines of "thanks man, yo, if anyone fucks with you, talk to me! ill straighten them out'


this dood has my back!! and he can have yours as well if you help the champ out soon!

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Guest WebsterUno



There's this guy, from a halfway house.

He stands in front of the 7-11, asking

people if they can buy him a cup of coffe.

HE gives YOU the change. You just have

to buy it for him. Poor guy has a sagging

eye. Like one of them just hangs out.

Anothere lady, same 7-11, asks for a nickel.

My friend once gave her a dime, and a few

pennies. She pulled the pennies and threw

them back at him. She screamed, "I said,

I WANT A NICKEL!" Fuckin bitch. LOL

She forgot his face once, and she asked

him for change again one day. So he pulled

his change out and right when he extended

his arm out, he chucked all at her. It was

funny at the time.

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