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Guest dukeofyork

blonde jokes...

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Guest dukeofyork

im not sure if this ones been covered yet...but lets hear some..

 

ill start off with some..

 

what does a blonde say after having multiple orgasms?

 

nice work team!

 

 

what does a blonde use for protection during sex?

 

a bus shelter.

 

 

what do a blonde and a halogen light bulb have in common?

 

they both get screwed on the front end of a ford escort.

 

 

what did the blonde say when the doctor told her she was pregnant?

 

are you sure its mine?

 

 

whats a blondes mating call? (2 possible answers.)

 

1. NEXT!

2. im soooo drunk.

 

 

post up!

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if a blond throw a grenade at you what do you do?

pull the pin and throw it back

 

whats the difference between an ironing board and a blond?

you can close the legs on an ironing board

 

how do you kill a blond

put a scratch and snifff sticker at the bottom of a pool

 

I CANT THINK OF THE GOOD ONES I KNOW AHHHH!!!!!

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<span style='color:darkblue'>heres a few.....

 

A blonde buys a ticket and wins the lottery. She goes to claim her winnings and the man verifies her ticket number.

 

The Blonde says, "I want my $20 million."

 

The man replies, "No, ma'am. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."

 

The Blonde says, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."

 

Again, the man explains that she would only get a million that day and one million a year for the next 19 years.

 

The Blonde, furious with the man, screams out,

 

"Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back right now!"

 

</span>

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<span style='color:darkblue'>A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300 she exclaimed,

"I don't have that kind of money!! But I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!"

 

The man arched an eyebrow.

"Anything?"

 

"Yes, anything" the blonde promised.

 

With that, the man said, "Follow me" He walked into the next room and ordered,

"Come in and close the door" She did.

 

He then said, "Get on your knees" She did.

 

Then he said, "Take down my zipper" She did.

 

He said, "Go ahead...take it out"

 

She took it out and grabbed hold of it with both hands. The man closed his yes and whispered,

"Well....go ahead!"

 

The blonde slowly brought her lips closer, and while holding it close to her mouth she said loudly "HELLO.....MOM???"

 

</span>

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<span style='color:darkblue'>yo mama's sooooooo blonde.......

 

... she thought Boyz II Men was a day-care center.

 

... she thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools.

 

... she thought General Motors was in the Army.

 

... she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

 

... she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.

 

... she tried to drown a fish.

 

... she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "concentrate".

 

... at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put "Sagittarius".

 

im here all day folks.......:D</span>

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Guest Dusty Lipschitz
Originally posted by i~hear~voice

yo mama's sooooooo blonde.......

 

... she thought manual labor was the president of mexico

 

thank you thank you

dont forget to tip your waitress

different shows at 8 and 10...

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Originally posted by Dusty Lipschitz

 

ight....:lol:

 

 

yo mamas soooo blonde...

 

she had to put on her glases to watch 20/20

 

thank u thank u..no autographs please...:D

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Q: Why do Blonde's where hooped earing?

 

A: So that they have a place to rest their ankles

 

 

A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to

kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park,

grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this

note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I

need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the

big oak tree in the park at 7 AM." Signed, "The Blonde".

 

She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him

to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park

to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just

as she had instructed.

 

Inside the bag was the following note. "Here is your money. I

cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man had a big date with a very sexy blonde,he decided to lay

out on a sunny day on his roof to get a good tan but he fell

asleep and burnt his manly part. Not wanting to cancel the big

date he rubbed lotion on it and hoped it would be ok.

During the middle of there date he asked to be excused because

his manly had started hurting.... he went into the kitchen

poured a tall glass of milk and stuck his penis in it.

The blonde worried walked in the kitchen and seen him.... as he

was very embarressed and about to explain to the blonde said

"oh so thats how you guys load them things."

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has this one been said?

 

how do you know if a blone has been on the computer?

 

theres white out on the screen.

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