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I am a dirty mother fucker.............


MOE-LESTER

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i got slobbed up by a fat chick last night. this bitch was literally trying to eat my fucking dick off, or suck my balls out of my sack. i had to stop ol girl a couple times because she was biting my fucking dick.

 

 

she also kept lickking my face and shit, like i was a glazed christmas ham. the funniest was that i had taken a nasty ass shit before i left for the bars, and bitch kept lickin my ass crack.

 

my roomate brought his girl back last night, and she had a friend. i should have just told ol girl to sleep on the couch, but i was 10 beers deep and i wanted to go titty diving. i mean, she wasnt suuuper fat, no more than 200 for sure. most of you niggas would have hit it, really though.

 

 

i didnt fuck, thank god. i got bored after 20 minutes and fell asleep.

 

 

its 2pm in the afternoon, i just woke up. my hair is crusted, i am in total shame.

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so she licked your ass, after you took a explosive drunk shit, and then licked your face?

you have poopy face homie.

 

heeeellll naw buddy. after she went down there i didnt let her mouth anywhere near me. i buried my head in her tits.

 

 

 

 

 

the night wasnt supposed to end up like this. me and my roomate hit up the bars with some folks. he runs into this one hawaiin girl he used to fuck. shes with her hot skinny hawaiin friend, who i have wanted to scoop for a while now. bad news, shes sober as hell and the DD, and she leaves the bar after my roomate and ol girl start getting real cuddly.

 

so at this point, im like fuck it, roomate just bring your girl back. then out of nowhere this plumpy white chick shows up during a cig break outside, we all split in my boys car. i didnt spit any mackin lines at all, she kind of just fell in my lap (literally), because we had like 6 niggas crammed into a tiny scion, and i was sandwhiched between a seat and this fat bitch.

one of those dumb white girls who doesnt need a single line before tehy want to suck a dick, she reminds me of my first girlfriend, except fatter.

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trust me i am very keen on the whole blowjob mouth syndrome. i wouldnt let my girl of 3 years bring her mouth up after anything, let alone some skank from the bar. or i cuold be talking shit and my drunk ass let it slip last night who knows, i was hammmmed off 2 dollar well drinks.

 

i washed my face and ass REALLL good this morning!

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I love it when you take your shame shower... and your washing, and thinking, and you just cant get clean then wham it hits you what a horrible person you are and you start screaming and pounding on the walls throwing shampoo and shit everywhere. Then you walk out and your room mate is all "You ok?" and you're like "Yeah... lets get drunk."

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Ummm... Ok... I was drunk as hell at a bar, with my roommate, and started talking to some huge black chick with dreads who looked like an eddie murphy character... then proceeded to tell my roommate "She's mine, don't even think about it.."

 

We went back to her place, she gave me a hair cut for some reason, and we banged in her bathroom, and then i walked home in the middle of the night.

 

The next i woke up in my bed smelling like fat black chick with a HORRIBLE haircut to my roommate laughing hysterically at me, and then i had to go to work looking like a total retard.

 

needless to say i was made fun of to no end, and ended up shaving my head immediately after work.

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