Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
Poesia [ ] T

Top signs your a Loser

Recommended Posts

You posted about 12 posts in a half hour in the answer a question with another question thread.

 

Your too lazy to change the channel to one of the 200+ channels and you continue to watch informacials this one currently selling presidential dollars.

 

You would rather be on the oz than having a girl come over cause you really dont have time to deal with them

 

you are currently still holding your pee from 2 movies ago.

 

You will take time to get up to walk to kitchen and continue to snack and drink more water thus making holding pee more unbearable.

 

And you continue to make useless threads you only think are worth anything

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You're*

 

Props dude. I'm on loser status tonight. Maybe for life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
;5931548']

 

You will take time to get up to walk to kitchen and continue to snack and drink more water thus making holding pee more unbearable.

 

And you continue to make useless threads you only think are worth anything

 

 

I'm bout to fall into both of these categories.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I sleep on my mom's couch.

 

One of the dude's I am seeing lives in a shed with another dude who I believe does a lot of cocaine.

The dude I kiss on is on methadone.

And works in a dive bar.

 

I woke up and came in here to 12oz within 5 minutes of being awake.

My nose is snotty.

I didn't want to get up and find tissues.

I took off my shirt and am using that to snot on.

 

I am hungry for breakfast.

But don't feel like making anything.

There is a box of Charleston Chews next to me.

That I am eating for breakfast.

 

I win at losing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest shai_hulud

I drank a ton of beer last night and didn't get drunk. Barely caught a buzz...

 

How did I manage to do THAT?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You have a liver that functions.

 

I don't.

It makes for cheap dates.

Dudes are pretty into the fact that it takes less than $20 to get me wasted.

I am pretty into that as well.

Since I am always poor.

 

DRINK REAL FAST.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Half your props given to you are from the efame thread but you are proud of your tic tacs.

 

You miss out on important business, working, and potential booty time from wifey while posting.

 

Your name is ! 2789 !

 

You got mad shit to do but you are still fucking typing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am hungry for breakfast.

But don't feel like making anything.

There is a box of Charleston Chews next to me.

That I am eating for breakfast.

I win at losing.

 

I had a fucking cookie and a drink of milk for breakfast two days ago.

 

Then I went downstairs and played Madden.

 

 

I'm the biggest loser.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Your a loser when you take a Hot Pocket to work and leave at your desk until it thaws.

 

Double loser for eating Hot Pockets in the first place.

 

At my last apartment, the coke heads that lived downstairs from us pawned their microwave.

So they borrowed my neighbor's microwave to cook their Hot Pockets.

I thought it was the most depressingly hilarious thing ever.

 

My ex is dating the coke head girl who eats Hot Pockets.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

5 random ways to be considered a fucking bum (loser):

 

1. You wipe your ass, collecting what looks like vegimite on the toilet paper, and throw it in the trash can next to the toilet.

 

2. You're 36 and still troll train yards beating up 15 year olds for paint.

 

3. You once jerked off to Mtv's "The Grind"

 

4. You're older than 25, but 75% of your friends are still in high school. the other 25% is your family.

 

5. You're a dude who frosts the tips of his hair, wears tight t-shirts and J-Lo glasses, and believes that designer jeans, trance music, tanning and european sports cars are all that matter in life. But you hate "fags."

 

sorry, couldn't find a photo to represent the last douchebag on the list.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest shai_hulud
At my last apartment, the coke heads that lived downstairs from us pawned their microwave.

So they borrowed my neighbor's microwave to cook their Hot Pockets.

I thought it was the most depressingly hilarious thing ever.

 

My ex is dating the coke head girl who eats Hot Pockets.

 

THEY PAWNED A MICROWAVE???

 

I can usually get drunk pretty easily off of a six-pack.

 

Yesterday, I drank a six pack of decent cheap beer, three sparks, and a quart of High Life. Nothing. Nada. Zip.

 

To me, that's sad. And a waste of ten bucks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

They pawned everything in their apartment.

To stay up for days on cocaine.

And tell me about it.

As if they thought it would make me think they were cool, somehow.

It made me not trust them.

And know that they would never be allowed in my apartment.

 

 

 

I would be sad if I couldn't get drunk off what you drank.

But that wouldn't be a problem.

Because I drink fast and danger.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest shai_hulud

I drank it reasonably fast...over the course of a few hours. I just started to feel bloated after a while, so I nursed the 32.

 

How do you stay up for days on cocaine? I never lasted more than an all-nighter, and I'd still be fried the next day. Speed was the only way I could really rock out for days on end...but it would mean a few days of misery afterwards.

 

I'm glad I got past all that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I was deep into that shit, there were times that I stayed up for 2 weeks on crack cocaine.

The trick is, you can't stop.

Once you stop, is when you drop.

 

Then I would realize that I was talking to inanimate objects like they were people.

I would have a brief moment of clarity and see that I was sitting at a bus stop, talking to a tree, thinking it was one of my buddies.

 

Shit was hectic.

 

I will never do cocaine again in my life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

my friend's band toured europe. while in the UK, one of the members decided to do some blow with this french band they played with that night. well, he thought it was blow, but it was meth. i guess these french guys were just going to town on the shit, so he joined in. so my friend wakes up the next day, and goes into the dude's room to wake him up for breakfast. he comes to find out that the dude was up all night huddled in his bed with the shakes and cold sweats.

 

fuck that noise. i'm glad i'm past that phase of my life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gucci --i had a roommate back in 1994. he was a drummer in an irish punk band (like the pogues). he used to sit and practice on a drum pad, while listening to music in the living room. on many occassion i'd come home to him playing his drum to the pogues, and watching "the grind" without the volume on. i asked "what's with the grind?" basically he just liked watching for the occassional upskirt and titty bounce.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your a loser if you've ever..

 

Clogged a toilet at your office

 

Wiped booger's on the wall by the urinal

 

Leave the water cooler empty.

 

God Damn, I work with some fucking losers

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Register for a 12ozProphet forum account or sign in to comment

You need to be a forum member in order to comment. Forum accounts are separate from shop accounts.

Create an account

Register to become a 12ozProphet forum member.

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×