Milk Grenades Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen 10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers. 9. Men are not sponges Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not. 8. Women are racists Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life. 7. Men live less than women The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights! 6. Men write illegibly Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space. 5. Jesus was a man Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women. 4. Men wear watches Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored. A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘ Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke. 3. Boys destroy things The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome! 2. Marriage is stupid Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it. Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with. 1. Men have penises When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’ Men Are Better Than Women. http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/top-ten/ More Reasons: Why women hate sex. Every Woman is a Cheating Whore Feminism Is Stupid Pets Are Not Children (PODRIDO) Space...the Male Frontier Women Would Vote for Hitler http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThE TaStE Of InK Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 Penis=Power Vagina= Vulnerable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
count chocula Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 88 is a lucky man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrChupacabra Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 Also, much in the same way that a wall probably doesn’t like or doesn’t care about playing tennis with you, it’s definitely not your fault. Don’t let your sympathetic male compassion get the better of you. You could be dancing around like a maniac and pulling stunts out of your figurative ass like Johnny Magic the Wicked Awesome — maybe some whirl-arounds and in your face spikes from across the court — it’s really up to you as the man — but no matter what, the wall will remain unfazed. fantastic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted December 5, 2007 Author Share Posted December 5, 2007 he is, and he is better than me.....but i'm better than most men & most women. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soupBDC Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 Whats funny about that is its so obviously written by a woman. Men dont use words like *tirade* and *fastidious.* My balls do all the talking required. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
count chocula Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 sans penis right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VAJ Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 Is it wrong that this turned me on? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soupBDC Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 It does mean your overies will explode if you dont give someone dome in four minutes... 3:59:59 3:59:58 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted December 5, 2007 Author Share Posted December 5, 2007 count c -- yes vaj -- no Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 hahahah... wtf? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAR Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 i don't get it. why bother writing something that everyone knows? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theo Huxtable. Posted December 5, 2007 Share Posted December 5, 2007 i agree Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IOU Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 So marriage is really like a nice shining bracelet.. Makes sense. PenisOner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twinky the kid Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 WOMEN GOT PWN'D NIKKUH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce_1nR Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 Nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enigmatic Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 ^^^ women got BLOGGERPWNED. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twinky the kid Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 ROFLCOPTR! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOE-LESTER Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 WE FUCK... GIRLS GET FUCKED Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tipsycripsy420 Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 Lester FTW! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny ballbags Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 **fixed.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c-walk Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 errrg ^^^^ "gay-owned & operated" i dont know about that one... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocinhajj Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 I am sure all of you people who think all this have girlfriends? How do you have girls in your life. if you think this way..no wonder there is so many angry men out there.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Overtime Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 thats awesome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishCarBombs Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 [kat williams voice] girls. just know As long as you have a vagina, you run the entire motherfuckin’ universe [/kat williams voice] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CACashRefund Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 i was watching ross kemp on gangs where he goes to south africa and he interviews this prison gang leader and he talks about his having sex with guys and the conversation went a little something like this 'how do you have sex with them? do you hold them down?' "ya, i hold dem down and den my face meets his face" "I has sex wit da man" '19 years you have sex with a man?!?' "yes 19 years, sex with man" 'doesnt that make you gay?' "NO!" "i sex him but i am not gay" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EGG Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 penis power Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twinky the kid Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 in teh buttZ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 #3 sums it all up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the dark horse Posted December 6, 2007 Share Posted December 6, 2007 Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it. Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with. i love it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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