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Milk Grenades

Men > Women

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Dick’s Top Ten Reasons MenAreBetterThanWomen


10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome

I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely

localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ?

Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their

fucking mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking

around them. Their tongues are battling around in their

mouths like drunken Vipers.

9. Men are not sponges

Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social

vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you

know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe

and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a fucking cult.

Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a

female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word?

There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.

8. Women are racists

Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred.

Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe?

Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and fuck definitely.

Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re

dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our

mighty man muscles and lift fucking mountains so the world

looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world

changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.

7. Men live less than women

The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing

members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young.

Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man

stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night

ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat

pigs in big fat puddles of shit. Congratulations women.

You really earned those rights!

6. Men write illegibly

Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate.

Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting

things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so

aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your

birth control pills after 6th period from space.

5. Jesus was a man

Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you

can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has

ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called

dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.

4. Men wear watches

Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s

a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know

how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate

their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear

watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing

bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in

front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for

hours and never get bored.

A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass

and take care of your fucking man business!’ That’s

why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘

Important shit is going down and we’re about to talk about

it in a fucking fastidious manner, so get the fuck ready,’

says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly,

but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.

3. Boys destroy things

The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the

trees where we came from is our ability to destroy.

Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world.

That was invented because man wanted to destroy

trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power?

Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors.

We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a

life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the

Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists.

Goddammit, that’s awesome!

2. Marriage is stupid

Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by

men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented

because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the

only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their

fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented

marriage as a way of telling women who they could and

couldn’t fuck. Like everything else men have ever invented,

it completely worked and worked way better than any man

thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the

man-invention of marriage that they’re fucking obsessed with it.

Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to

entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of

fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.

1. Men have penises

When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying

problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s

tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking

like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of

telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t

fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you

need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend

a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be fucking courteous.’

Men Are Better Than Women.





More Reasons:


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Also, much in the same way that a wall probably doesn’t like or doesn’t care about playing tennis with you, it’s definitely not your fault. Don’t let your sympathetic male compassion get the better of you. You could be dancing around like a maniac and pulling stunts out of your figurative ass like Johnny Magic the Wicked Awesome — maybe some whirl-arounds and in your face spikes from across the court — it’s really up to you as the man — but no matter what, the wall will remain unfazed.


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Whats funny about that is its so obviously written by a woman. Men dont use words like *tirade* and *fastidious.* My balls do all the talking required.

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It does mean your overies will explode if you dont give someone dome in four minutes...




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i don't get it. why bother writing something that everyone knows?

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So marriage is really like a nice shining bracelet..


Makes sense.



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I am sure all of you people who think all this have girlfriends? How do you have girls in your life. if you think this way..no wonder there is so many angry men out there....

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