slush puppy Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 yo i won't lie, when i was 14, i accidently whiped my ass with poisin ivy. my friend warned me, but i didn't beleive him that i had picked up poisin ivy. a week later, i was starting school in 8th grade. itching my ass more than a fiend. it had to be the worst 3 weeks of my life.... i should have been a boy scout. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 money I was travelling in the Ukraine shortly after the coupe, there was no tp in the bathroom on the train, no newspaper either which seemed to be the standard. The money was practically worthless because of the upheval of curency values at the time. Sucked, the bills were really small and it was painfull. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicineCabinet Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 money toilet paper that was already used in the trash beside the toilet winners... serious grime Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pertplus1 Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 pancake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omegatree Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 ^^ haha always top with some doo doo butter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i kill for meow mix Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 THAT GAS STATION TOILET PAPER.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
screaming hand logo Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 yes that definitely is the worse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heroin bob Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 my girl's wool socks.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+plus+ Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 HAHAHA i was taking with my dad about this like an hour ago, we had to sue coffee filters for a while one time, that was really shitty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mdot Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 you took your dad to sue a coffee filter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 i once popped a wet one while walking home drunk...ended up wiping my ass with my boxers and then free balling. no shame in my game Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mdot Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 This might be better in the shart or I shit my pants thread, oh well. One time this chick I was dating was taking a shower in my apartment, a 1 bathroom apartment. Right after she went in I felt the bubble guts. It's not like I could just knock on the door and say "hey, I gotta take a shit". So I did the most logical thing and shit in a gallon size zip lock, wiped my ass with paper towels, and ran it to the dumpster before she got out. Nothing like jogging a bag of swamp ass across the parking lot... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tango 24 Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 took a shit in the woods when i was about 6 wiped with a mouldy leaf, looking back i reckon I'm lucky i didn't get some kind of fucked up infection from doing that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Violent Gangbanger Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 yo i won't lie, when i was 14, i accidently whiped my ass with poisin ivy. my friend warned me, but i didn't beleive him that i had picked up poisin ivy. a week later, i was starting school in 8th grade. itching my ass more than a fiend. it had to be the worst 3 weeks of my life.... i should have been a boy scout. I can't stop laughing my stomach hurts. "Yo I won't lie" "Whiped my ass" "Itching my ass more than a fiend." "Worst 3 weeks" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
viperface Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 ACCIDENTALLY WIPED POISON BELIEVE POISON Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeless Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 with a walmart receipt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicineCabinet Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 probably wouldve been cleaner to just let the shit cake on your asshole jus sayin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_gacy Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 One time this chick I was dating was taking a shower in my apartment, a 1 bathroom apartment. Right after she went in I felt the bubble guts. It's not like I could just knock on the door and say "hey, I gotta take a shit". So I did the most logical thing and shit in a gallon size zip lock, wiped my ass with paper towels, and ran it to the dumpster before she got out. Nothing like jogging a bag of swamp ass across the parking lot... Wha-what?!?! Dude, you're not king of your castle. You're out running across the lot with a handful of turd like you're a dog cleaning up after yourself? Just walk in, drop trou, and handle your business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tavaruawon Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 A handful of ripe poison oak leaves!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
staby Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 My glove in the winter time buurrrrrrr! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ignition Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 I remember once I was at some real chill middle-of-nowhere Yard. Real Sweet yard a few hours out..Anyways, I'm in between lines and I realize I really really have to shit. Worst idea ever was to grab Indian Food before the mission. So I can feel it slowly make its way to my asshole, and I quickly look around..check my backpack. All I have is a few cans of paint...So I jump in the boxcar behind me and take this huge nasty shit. Shit smelled straight up like Indian Food. I look in the Boxcar and find this Bottle with some note folded up inside. So I'm reading this letter and it's a fucking suicide note. It was dated a few years prior sayin' some shit like "I'm my only friend, This ride will be my last ride, I hope someone finds this and reads about my life" Well...It was the only paper around...So I end up wiping my Ass with it. Didn't even do a good job..Shit was mad rough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john_gacy Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 Wow, dude thinks his life is shit and his final word becomes it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Classified Posted March 4, 2010 Share Posted March 4, 2010 i was drunk as fuck painting along a freeway about 2 metres from a pretty sketch cliff drop.....my mate who i was painting with had just gotten back from japan....on his backpack he still had the travel stick or whatever......you know the tags they put on your luggage for whatever reason........well i had the runniest , thickest , stinkiest shit bubbling in my belly......i could'nt keep it in .......i just pulled my pants down and unleashed at this spot.....my mate was like "what the fuck, awwwww....you dirty cunt .....u fuckin..'" i told him to "shut the fuck up and get me somthing to wipe with"....he offered me rocks and a stick.....shitcunt.......i told him to give me the sticky thing off his bag , those things are about the size of concert tickets.......the shit i just blurted out was the size of a concert....the spot stank......i was in tears laughing....he was in tears breathing. that , or the paper you get in public toilets.....may aswell use sand paper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NineMil Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 A handful of ripe poison oak leaves!! i did that when i was hiking when i was younger fucking still get shiver when i think about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastHastings Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 This might be better in the shart or I shit my pants thread, oh well. One time this chick I was dating was taking a shower in my apartment, a 1 bathroom apartment. Right after she went in I felt the bubble guts. It's not like I could just knock on the door and say "hey, I gotta take a shit". So I did the most logical thing and shit in a gallon size zip lock, wiped my ass with paper towels, and ran it to the dumpster before she got out. Nothing like jogging a bag of swamp ass across the parking lot... why werent you in the shower with her? aint nothing like shitting in the shower with your bitch watching. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pedoe Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 newspaper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mdot Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 why werent you in the shower with her? aint nothing like shitting in the shower with your bitch watching. Nah, she wasn't kinky like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SukiSukiNow Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 my roomate once wiped his ass with a bamboo stick in thailand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psm026 Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 why werent you in the shower with her? aint nothing like shitting in the shower with your bitch watching. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mdot Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 This is the exact opposite of this thread, but may be the best thing I ever wiped my ass with, better than the softest TP known to man. My dad showed it to me on camping trips while I was a kid. Its so soft, like a furry massage on your anus, and grows everywhere here in the wild. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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