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worst thing youve ever had to wipe your ass with...


Guest MR BOJANGLES

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really the only non paper based thing I had to wipe my ass with was some dirty ass leaves on the interstate when me and my boy were painting one night. The interstates are surrounded by chiggers, so even though I was loaded up on cutter deep woods (a must in TN) I was still scared I would catch chiggers in my ass hole. I didnt tho

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I was told that the leaves on plants growing on the side of the interstate are covered with all sorts of toxins & bacteria from pollution and spillage and you can get gnarly ass infections from wiping with them too...

i believe that...

 

all those 18 wheelers tossing jizz/mustard-stained hotdog wrappers & STI soaked hooker panties out the window

 

about 1/2 of the time, i bring a few napkins around

 

not a habit of mine to shit myself or anything... you just never know when youre gunna need a napkin

 

forest20gump1.jpg

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i imagine somewhere out there, some poor dude had wiped his ass with poison ivy

 

all those boils & blisters popping/oontzing/bleeding/hurting as you try wiping your cornhole after the fact would be hell /nh

 

I never post on this site but had to chime in on this.. I must have been like 9/10 years old, took a shit in the woods.

Being sure not to wipe my ass with poison ivy.. i reached for poison sumac instead.

I spent the next two weeks in the bathtub running cold water on my ass and ball sack and my free time laying naked on my bed with fan on my nether regions.

 

Oh and it was during a record-breaking heatwave in the middle of the summer.. it's hilarious when i look back on it now, but holy shit was it god awful.

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I never post on this site but had to chime in on this.. I must have been like 9/10 years old, took a shit in the woods.

Being sure not to wipe my ass with poison ivy.. i reached for poison sumac instead.

I spent the next two weeks in the bathtub running cold water on my ass and ball sack and my free time laying naked on my bed with fan on my nether regions.

 

Oh and it was during a record-breaking heatwave in the middle of the summer.. it's hilarious when i look back on it now, but holy shit was it god awful.

damn that sucks...

 

someone out there probably has used fiberglass insulation thinking it would be a good idea as well

 

i cant stop grinning at the thought of their misfortune

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when i was first starting to do street shots and various big things graffiti wise, me and a friend of mine were doing a roller along a main road in my city. we were cautious at first, keeping an eye out and such but after a bit we decided that both of us should get on a roller and finish as quickly as possible. We are just getting done with the outline and about to do the 3d when we hear a scrape come from the alley. we turn and see a cop car creeping all slow like, dude turns off his lights seconds after we turn around, so obviously dude was there for us. We run away from the cop to the back of the building and beyond. We actually ran about 10 blocks before taking a rest behind a building on some tracks.

My car was parked in the parking lot that leads to the alley the cop was in, so I decide to go back alone while my boy sat and waited. I jogged the whole way, trying to look like a health conscience guy in a business district at 3am. No cops passed me the whole way there. I hop in my truck and go to pick up my friend. He jumps in without a shirt on. I ask him what the fuck is this shit and he tells me his story about how badly he needed to take a shit but didn't have anything to wipe with, so he used his shirt. i laugh at him the entire way home. he isn't as amused.

for reference:

2iha6ox.jpg

 

personally, ive used leaves, socks and those lysol disinfectant wipes.

the lysol wipes actually felt pretty good.

the leaves were the most annoying. no 'friction' so i was never really sure if i was clean or not.

socks were just eh. would use them again.

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