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Guest MR BOJANGLES

worst thing youve ever had to wipe your ass with...

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Guest MR BOJANGLES

man! i hate when i take a crap at home or my friends house and theres no toilet paper!!! ive used a menu before and the other day i had to use a damn "lysol pre-moistened anti bacterial surface wipe"

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Guest imported_El Mamerro

-Rough brown public restroom handtowels

 

-A variety of rather itchy leaves in the woods, most of which broke halfway in the process and made me touch my dirty asshole

 

-Chubs baby wipes. Nothing worse than walking away from the toilet with a moist ass

 

-My own goddamn hand

 

-Boogie Hands

 

 

Beer,

 

El Mamerro

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BAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

 

being a girl, i've never wiped my ass before, because girls don't poo.

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Guest MR BOJANGLES

my one friend had to use the page from a porn mag once too.

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Guest chicken bone

i wiped my ass with my own boxers!! AND THEN I FREE BALLED IT ON THE WHOA

 

"smart boy right here."

"where?"

"over here"

"ok then."

 

~`*^"cHIcKEn BOnE"~`*

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Guest fr8lover

the "1/2 ply i can see through it like tissue paper causes rectal bleeding and hemmeroids" brand they supply this place with.

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one time i ran out of toilet paper and a walked across my apartment to my roomates bathroom to steal a lil' bit and then someone knocked on the door and i didn't answer it cause I didn't want to have to talk to someone with shit-butt so i pretended not to be home, but then they walked in anyways cause it was a real-estate agent showing the place for "pre-leasing" and it's in our lease that they can do that apparently, so i made my tight-cheeked way back to my bathroom with the toilet paper I snagged and wiped my ass while the these strangers were looking at my bongs.

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my hand

 

umm my other hand

 

a sock from my own fooot.

 

i once took off my underwear and wiped with that but thats when i was in preschool. i also flushed the underwear down the toilet too. wich was great

 

and i think i used a ....... nah i dont think so

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Guest Obsessed
Originally posted by LAZYBONES

so i made my tight-cheeked way back to my bathroom with the toilet paper I snagged and wiped my ass while the these strangers were looking at my bongs.

haha great mental picture must suck though that people can come in at any time

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Guest chicken bone
Originally posted by tue skinny

i once took off my underwear and wiped with that but thats when i was in preschool. i also flushed the underwear down the toilet too. wich was great

 

haha thats a damn good idea!

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Originally posted by chicken bone

 

haha thats a damn good idea!

its well worth it. till this day i will never regret doing that. its better then walking weird and smelling bad the rest of the day.

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Guest im not witty

my uncle was on a camping trip once, went to shit in the woods and wiped his ass with poison oak. *grimace

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one time i ran out of toilet paper and a walked across my apartment to my roomates bathroom to steal a lil' bit and then someone knocked on the door and i didn't answer it cause I didn't want to have to talk to someone with shit-butt so i pretended not to be home, but then they walked in anyways cause it was a real-estate agent showing the place for "pre-leasing" and it's in our lease that they can do that apparently, so i made my tight-cheeked way back to my bathroom with the toilet paper I snagged and wiped my ass while the these strangers were looking at my bongs.

 

this is fucking hilarious!!

 

so i dont know abou you bet everytime i go out to paint i have to shit. i go before i leave but if the spot is super sketchy i will most definately have to shit. leading to these.....

 

plastic shopping bags (they are EVERYWHERE but not absorbent merely for large chunk removal)

pages of a stuck together porno (these are at every chill graff spot as well)

my god damn finger nail (after it pokes through)

newspaper in the dark (only to realize when i got home that the newspaper wasdirtier than my shitty ass. when i wipe at home with tp and it comes back BLACK literaly)

curious rags.

my latex gloves

nothing (resulting in an itchy irritated rashy ass that SOMETHING is flaking off of.)

the toilet paper roll (8 years old in the burger king bathroom. moms waiting outside for like 20 minutes all the paper is gone my mind is racing finally i peel apart the cardboard roll into little crispy parallelograms and scrape. mom made my embarasement worse by going to one of the workers saying that the boys bathroom is out of t.p. as i stand sheepishly next to her)

:mad: :mad: :P

-jerk182

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some fucker pissed on my futon when he slept over ... and the next moring he woke up at 6 and said he had to go to choirs at his house. and wraped his sweatshirt around the front insted of having in the back ... nad he tryed to hide it from me by fliping the thing over and thinkin i wouldnt know, ha i killed that fucker.

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Guest WebsterUno

*believe*

 

I dont know if any of you remember The Haze Theater

up in Frisco, but they used to hold lil parties there.

Well, I met some dude named Marshmellow.

He sold us some doses, and broke it down about why

his nickname was Marshmellow. He told me he was

dosing while camping out in the woods. He had to take

a boo-boo. So he handled his bizniz, and couldnt find

any paper near by, so he reached for the nearest thing…

the end.

 

BTW, he had the best Gelcaps Ive ever had.:dazed:

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