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its cold and i have the day off = return of holding pee threads!!!


HESHIANDET

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I'm sitting on the couch, doing absolutely nothing, about ten feet from the bathroom and I've been holding it for 15 minutes.

 

I don't know why, but it just pisses me off that I'm expected to drop whatever I'm doing every couple of hours and drain the liquid waste from this crappy mortal shell. What the fuck, medical science, step your game up.

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i'm a flirt

 

soon as i see her walk up in the club

 

i'mma flirt

 

winkin her eyes at me when i roll up on them dubs

 

i'mma flirt

 

sometimes when i'm with my chick all alone

 

i'mma flirt

 

and when she's with her man lookin at me, damn right

 

i'mma flirt

 

so homie don't bring your girl to meet me 'cause

 

i'mma flirt

 

and baby don't bring your girlfriend to eat 'cause

 

i'mma flirt

 

please believe it unless your game is tight and you trust her...

 

then don't bring her around me 'cause

 

i'mma flirt

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I peed on this kid's face on his Birthday.

He was passed out on the floor of the bar we were drinking at.

We were up on a balcony drinking, he went to sleep.

 

This was after I spit in his face like a million times.

I would spit, he would look at me and ask me if I spit on him.

I would shrug my shoulders.

Then my friends got in on it.

He had spit from no less than 10 people dripping off his poor little face.

 

Happy 18th Birthday, Nerd.

 

 

I've peed in dude's hats when they were sleeping.

On their torsos.

Heads.

I peed in somebody's dishwasher once.

To learn them a lesson that I don't take kindly to people trying to be hip hop and intimidating to me.

I'll show them.

 

I try not to do things like that anymore.

Because I am an adult.

And not a punk rock scumbag.

 

I pee on people's cars still though.

Or if somebody is driving a convertable and leaves the top down...I'lll pee in the driver's seat.

They are too inviting.

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