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cornelius

polygamy?

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i just had a conversation about it on AIM... odd, but whatever..

 

girl: how do you define polygamy?

cornelius: i'd say it would be having more than one significant other, and i can't do that

girl: how come? (not that you should...just curiosity)

cornelius: well take what i have now for example, all the feelings and emotions are directed towards tilley, that's how i feel..

girl: you look at love as a limited resource and if you spread it out between more than one person there's less for each to go around?

cornelius: hahaha.. no no.. i guess i'm trying to say.. if i'm in love with someone it's impossible for me to have those same feelings for someone else

girl: hmm.. crazy

cornelius: when i'm in love with one person.... i'm not worried about anyone else

girl: hmm

cornelius: i'm not searching for anyone.. i've found who i was searching for

girl: yeah that's not what i'm sayin

cornelius: off topic, but i smell like chili..

girl: i'm glad if you, or anyone, can find all of your needs and desires (and whatever) met & fulfilled in a single person

girl: what if tilley (or whoever you might be with) found that she wanted to be involved in "romantic" (or whatever you wanna call em) relationships with other people in addition to you.?

cornelius: i would feel kind of heartbroken

girl: how come?

cornelius: what we shared wouldn't seem as special... pretty simple answer

girl: why? i mean, i think that each relationship between two people is totally unique---people like each other for different reasons, on different levels, and in different ways. no combination of people can ever be duplicated so the relationship between you two would be no less special, as i see it

cornelius: i try not to mix logic with emotions... it tends to muffle things...

cornelius: they don't seem as pure...

girl: it's your life and your relationships. and whatever works for you--whatever your heart really tells you--is best. i'm just asking.

cornelius: yeah i know

cornelius: i would feel as if i didn't mean as much

cornelius: i guess if you saw us you would understand....... it's as if we connect on every level... we share everything... it's perfect

girl: all i'm saying is, it could...i don't know...be interesting, maybe even worth something, to explore why that would make you feel like it didn't mean as much. to me it's kind of like your best friend having other friends; it doesn't change the uniqueness, specialness, beauty, strength, depth, or worth of your relationship with your best friend

girl: i've been in love i know how that is. it's amazing, and i'm happy for you

cornelius: the way i look at it, she's more than a best friend

girl: of course she is

girl: that's not what i'm saying

cornelius: the things we share... it's something that only we have..... if she were to share those sorts of feelings for others..... it would make me feel as if i weren't worth as much

girl: i'm just saying that having multiple relationships of the same general type doesn't necessarily diminish the worth (or anything else) of each individual relationship

girl: but how i look at it, she could never share those same exact emotions with someone else

girl: cos it's you she feels them for and it's you and she together that bring out those feelings in her. any other combination would be different. perhaps no less special, but in its own way. different.

cornelius: if you're completely in love with someone... how could you share that with another? i mean.... the other relationship wouldn't even seem that special..

cornelius: and if she shared what we have with someone else.... then it wouldn't really be love at all..

girl: you can be completely in love with more than one person, each for different reasons and in its own way. it's not sharing what you have....it's having many unique loves

girl: i just don't believe in property of objects, or people. i don't think loving one person makes you less able to love another...fully, or at all

girl: given, it can be intense to focus a ton on many people...you only have so much time, after all

girl: but love is not a limited resource.

cornelius: i'm not saying she's my property

girl: i know. i'm not saying you are

cornelius: i'm not saying it's a limited resource

girl: i'm not saying you are

cornelius: i'm saying i'm in love with her. and i don't even want to think about starting relationships with other people

girl: that's fine

cornelius: because she's everything i've ever dreamed of, and more

girl: i think that this conversation is intermixing ideas on the subject in general, with your current personal life which isn't what i meant to do at all.

cornelius: well logically, your theory does make sense but emotionally it just doesn't work for me

girl: whatever works for you, is what is best. like i said. your heart knows better than any theory of any kind

cornelius: yeah, i don't get too political with my love it would fuck things up for sure. i go with what my heart tells me... if i think about things, i'll fail

girl: but...i'm not saying this is you at all...but in general, sometimes people confuse their own emotions with social conditioning. so i think when it seems possible/workable, and worthwhile, it's worth looking into. which is all i try to do on this subject.

cornelius: ... yeah..

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i will comment with something of substance in a second...

 

for now, man, i can't believe you took the time out to change the aim names. i wouldn't have the patience for that mess.

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well we've messed around before... she's this train hopping/political type girl... we met up in NYC after all that sept. 11 stuff.. i'd say yeah, she likes me...

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yeah way to stand your ground. i think that girl was waiting for you to cave, but alas, you did not.

 

i'm a one man kind of gal but she brings up a good point about love not being like a limited resource.

 

hmmm...i will be pondering this one...

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to me, she thinks about things way too much... way too political for me... and yeah.. i was bored.. needed somethin to waste time.. so i switched out the names and shit..

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Guest HAL

Right on man. Feelings for another person isn't like an oil reserve. It lasts forever.

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Guest imported_Tesseract

I always want to feel that special things in my life are meant for ME, you may call that selfish or whatever but thats the only way i can be dedicated to something.

 

Wisest line:

"cornelius: yeah, i don't get too political with my love it would fuck things up for sure."

 

Dumpest line:

"girl: i just don't believe in property of objects, or people. i don't think loving one person makes you less able to love another...fully, or at all"

 

It seems to me that trying to be open to many options really distracts you from finding your self and the things that you feel complete with.

I'm not saying that one should be wearing blinkers, finding whats 'right'

is a tough break but once you're close to it, it needs dedication.

Its a form of emotional greedyness(sp?), people that think that expanding has to do with jumping from one thing to another when its all about things that LEAD you to other things.

 

On a political sidenote, utopias, sadly, dont work out. They exist as an idea but there is no practical pattern of appliance in them.

Communism is a great example.

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