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You know youre too old to be trick or treating


soupBDC

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I gave candy to everyone.

Just to get the job done with so I could go back inside.

 

Babies in strollers drinking on bottles of milk?

Sure.

Teenagers in t-shirts and sweatpants?

Sure.

Fatty mothers in tattered clothes holding out a grocery bag for their own treats.

Sure.

 

I had what I believed to be a teenage retard come to the house.

He talked in a real stuttery stop-and-start way.

I gave him candy.

He asked if I had any caramel apples.

I told him no.

He looked toward the door and asked if he could ring the bell.

I asked why.

He looked scared, turned and walked away fast with a retard gait.

 

I didn't feel bad about not having any caramel apples for him.

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I was wearing my normal clothes.

A La Fraction t shirt with a grey short sleeved hooded sweatshirt over it.

A jean jacket.

Glasses.

Just regular people clothes.

 

I felt like a buster for not at least painting my face.

I went the route of the Olde Fart last night.

And did nothing but hate on youth culture.

 

I sat in a chair in my driveway.

With my headphones on, listening to King Diamond.

Some kid came from my neighbor's yard and walked inbetween the cars in our driveway.

When he came around the Caddilac, he stopped.

And said I scared him.

I said,

"OUCH."

I don't think he got it.

 

I think I just was talking to the retard in a mean tone.

I do that a lot without actually knowing it.

People are always hassling me about the tone of voice I speak in.

Say I sound condescending.

And like a jerk.

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103-87502.jpgsmokies1.jpg

I've decided to hand out "little smokies" next year... a giant crock pot filled with some cheap BBQ sauce & a stack of toothpicks.

 

I'll make my neighbors follow suit. They can hand out meatballs, pizza rolls, mini egg rolls, microwavable white castle sliders, waffle fries, & pot stickers.

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103-87502.jpgsmokies1.jpg

I've decided to hand out "little smokies" next year... a giant crock pot filled with some cheap BBQ sauce & a stack of toothpicks.

 

I'll make my neighbors follow suit. They can hand out meatballs, pizza rolls, mini egg rolls, microwavable white castle sliders, waffle fries, & pot stickers.

 

Do you live in costco? That sounds amazing.

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i remember once.

these people left a bowl of candy outside and a sign that said "please take one"

i had a pillow case and just dumped the big ass bowl in my bad and bounced

 

yea, everyone did that. lol..

 

one year someone left the bowl and the "take one" sign, but they also left a disposable camera

with a note saying "take a picture of your costumes" ...

 

so naturally we wasted the entire camera taking pictures of our asses and then took all the candy

 

good times

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I HAD THREE KIDS COME TO MY DOOR, TOTAL HIGH SCHOOLERS.

TWO HAD COSTUMES, ONE DID'NT.

MY POLICY FOR HALLOWS EVE IS: NO COSTUME NO CANDY.

SO I GIVE THE TWO WITH COSTUMES CANDY AND THE OTHER REACHES OUT WITH HIS TWO HANDS AND SAYS TRICK OR TREAT.

 

SO I SAY " SORRY DOOD, NO COSTUME NO CANDY".

HE SAYS BACK" THATS FUCKED UP, I SAY "LIFE'S FUCKED UP"

THEY START TO WALK AWAY AND I SAUY" HAVE A GOOD NIGHT, AND BE SAFE" AND HE SAYS

"FUCK YOU".

 

WELL ON THE PORCH IS MY CORGI AND SHES DRESSED IN A PURPLE CAPE LOOKIN LIKE DRACULA.

WHEN THE KID SAID THAT I TOLD MY DOG TO GET'EM.

NOW MY DOG IS SUPER SHORT LEGGED AND BRED FOR CATTLE AND HORSE RANCH SHIT.

ONLY THING SHE WOULD DO IS LICK THE SKIN OFF YOUR ANKLES.

 

SO SHE TAKES OFF AND THE KIDS START BOOKIN DOWN THE STREET.

 

O TEH LAUGHTER WE'S HAD.

 

REMEMBER- NO COSTUME NO CANDY

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yea, everyone did that. lol..

 

one year someone left the bowl and the "take one" sign, but they also left a disposable camera

with a note saying "take a picture of your costumes" ...

 

so naturally we wasted the entire camera taking pictures of our asses and then took all the candy

 

good times

 

LAWL thats so funny

some old guy prolly jacked off to pictures of your ass

why didnt u just steal the camera?

 

familyguy-toloveanddieindixie-herbert_1162591879.jpg

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I gave candy to everyone.

Just to get the job done with so I could go back inside.

 

Babies in strollers drinking on bottles of milk?

Sure.

Teenagers in t-shirts and sweatpants?

Sure.

Fatty mothers in tattered clothes holding out a grocery bag for their own treats.

Sure.

 

I had what I believed to be a teenage retard come to the house.

He talked in a real stuttery stop-and-start way.

I gave him candy.

He asked if I had any caramel apples.

I told him no.

He looked toward the door and asked if he could ring the bell.

I asked why.

He looked scared, turned and walked away fast with a retard gait.

 

I didn't feel bad about not having any caramel apples for him.

 

wow thats some deep shit

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yeah it doesnt matter if youre too old or not

 

the rule is

 

if the trick or treater is in costume you are require to provide a treat to said trick or treater

 

and if you refuse to provide a treat, said trick or treater at his/her own discretion can choose to invoke his right to trick

 

now as far as what constitutes a costume is a legal "grey" area

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