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soupBDC

You know youre too old to be trick or treating

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when you try to grab the whole bowl of candy and i hit you in the face with it.

 

Noone wants to see highschoolers at their doorstep. Especially ones ruining it for the little kids by stealing all my candy. Get the fuck out of here!

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thats why u hand out beer and packs of cigarettes like in "the coneheads"

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when you try to grab the whole bowl of candy and i hit you in the face with it.

 

Noone wants to see highschoolers at their doorstep. Especially ones ruining it for the little kids by stealing all my candy. Get the fuck out of here!

 

 

that shit had me laughing so hard....it's true though

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Go make a stencil on your door that says "boys wanted, will pay with a lollipop"

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I gave candy to everyone.

Just to get the job done with so I could go back inside.

 

Babies in strollers drinking on bottles of milk?

Sure.

Teenagers in t-shirts and sweatpants?

Sure.

Fatty mothers in tattered clothes holding out a grocery bag for their own treats.

Sure.

 

I had what I believed to be a teenage retard come to the house.

He talked in a real stuttery stop-and-start way.

I gave him candy.

He asked if I had any caramel apples.

I told him no.

He looked toward the door and asked if he could ring the bell.

I asked why.

He looked scared, turned and walked away fast with a retard gait.

 

I didn't feel bad about not having any caramel apples for him.

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He looked scared

 

BloodFrat, what were you wearing? Did you scare him? From the pictures you put on 12oz, I would think that you possess the ability to look scary to retarded people when you want.

 

CILONE=Not trying to be mean.

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in my opinion

this has go to be the cheapest holiday of the year

 

"c'mon man lets just go out, i dont have any money and i need something to fucking eat"

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I was wearing my normal clothes.

A La Fraction t shirt with a grey short sleeved hooded sweatshirt over it.

A jean jacket.

Glasses.

Just regular people clothes.

 

I felt like a buster for not at least painting my face.

I went the route of the Olde Fart last night.

And did nothing but hate on youth culture.

 

I sat in a chair in my driveway.

With my headphones on, listening to King Diamond.

Some kid came from my neighbor's yard and walked inbetween the cars in our driveway.

When he came around the Caddilac, he stopped.

And said I scared him.

I said,

"OUCH."

I don't think he got it.

 

I think I just was talking to the retard in a mean tone.

I do that a lot without actually knowing it.

People are always hassling me about the tone of voice I speak in.

Say I sound condescending.

And like a jerk.

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103-87502.jpgsmokies1.jpg

I've decided to hand out "little smokies" next year... a giant crock pot filled with some cheap BBQ sauce & a stack of toothpicks.

 

I'll make my neighbors follow suit. They can hand out meatballs, pizza rolls, mini egg rolls, microwavable white castle sliders, waffle fries, & pot stickers.

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103-87502.jpgsmokies1.jpg

I've decided to hand out "little smokies" next year... a giant crock pot filled with some cheap BBQ sauce & a stack of toothpicks.

 

I'll make my neighbors follow suit. They can hand out meatballs, pizza rolls, mini egg rolls, microwavable white castle sliders, waffle fries, & pot stickers.

 

Do you live in costco? That sounds amazing.

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I gave out candy bars with razor blades in them. There's no point asking trick or treat if all you give is treats.

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i remember once.

these people left a bowl of candy outside and a sign that said "please take one"

i had a pillow case and just dumped the big ass bowl in my bad and bounced

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Welcome to every single persons trick or treating experience.

 

 

Please take a number and stand in like with every single other person who has ever gone trick or treating.

 

 

Honestly, that shit would happen every year. It was just a race to see who get to that house first.

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i remember once.

these people left a bowl of candy outside and a sign that said "please take one"

i had a pillow case and just dumped the big ass bowl in my bad and bounced

 

yea, everyone did that. lol..

 

one year someone left the bowl and the "take one" sign, but they also left a disposable camera

with a note saying "take a picture of your costumes" ...

 

so naturally we wasted the entire camera taking pictures of our asses and then took all the candy

 

good times

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I had a highschool girl come to my door with zero costume.

 

As she walked away she said to her friend "my skirt almost fell off!"

 

Her friend responded with "good, we could've gotten more candy!"

 

Frightening.

 

Definitely too old.

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I HAD THREE KIDS COME TO MY DOOR, TOTAL HIGH SCHOOLERS.

TWO HAD COSTUMES, ONE DID'NT.

MY POLICY FOR HALLOWS EVE IS: NO COSTUME NO CANDY.

SO I GIVE THE TWO WITH COSTUMES CANDY AND THE OTHER REACHES OUT WITH HIS TWO HANDS AND SAYS TRICK OR TREAT.

 

SO I SAY " SORRY DOOD, NO COSTUME NO CANDY".

HE SAYS BACK" THATS FUCKED UP, I SAY "LIFE'S FUCKED UP"

THEY START TO WALK AWAY AND I SAUY" HAVE A GOOD NIGHT, AND BE SAFE" AND HE SAYS

"FUCK YOU".

 

WELL ON THE PORCH IS MY CORGI AND SHES DRESSED IN A PURPLE CAPE LOOKIN LIKE DRACULA.

WHEN THE KID SAID THAT I TOLD MY DOG TO GET'EM.

NOW MY DOG IS SUPER SHORT LEGGED AND BRED FOR CATTLE AND HORSE RANCH SHIT.

ONLY THING SHE WOULD DO IS LICK THE SKIN OFF YOUR ANKLES.

 

SO SHE TAKES OFF AND THE KIDS START BOOKIN DOWN THE STREET.

 

O TEH LAUGHTER WE'S HAD.

 

REMEMBER- NO COSTUME NO CANDY

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yea, everyone did that. lol..

 

one year someone left the bowl and the "take one" sign, but they also left a disposable camera

with a note saying "take a picture of your costumes" ...

 

so naturally we wasted the entire camera taking pictures of our asses and then took all the candy

 

good times

 

LAWL thats so funny

some old guy prolly jacked off to pictures of your ass

why didnt u just steal the camera?

 

familyguy-toloveanddieindixie-herbert_1162591879.jpg

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I gave candy to everyone.

Just to get the job done with so I could go back inside.

 

Babies in strollers drinking on bottles of milk?

Sure.

Teenagers in t-shirts and sweatpants?

Sure.

Fatty mothers in tattered clothes holding out a grocery bag for their own treats.

Sure.

 

I had what I believed to be a teenage retard come to the house.

He talked in a real stuttery stop-and-start way.

I gave him candy.

He asked if I had any caramel apples.

I told him no.

He looked toward the door and asked if he could ring the bell.

I asked why.

He looked scared, turned and walked away fast with a retard gait.

 

I didn't feel bad about not having any caramel apples for him.

 

wow thats some deep shit

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