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Blaise Pascal

Last Nights Party NSFW just in case

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7. The Cobrasnake. Sample Socks photo #9623: I'd pay good money to for someone take this killer to Oakland so we could see what would happen if you dropped him off in the middle of the drunkest part of Raider Nation during a night game against the 'Niners.

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10.Ambrel. Ed Banger photo #7070: Designer patchwork wacky jeans and failed attempt at irony through hideous motocross t-shirt? Check. Fingernails painted black? Check. Hilariously lame facial expression confirming that your inexplicable ensemble is, in fact, the disastrous result of your reading one of those pick-up artist handbooks? Fucking CHECK, you beautiful peacock of a man.

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they no longer do "hipster or homeless" but it was a highlight.

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3) The Cobrasnake. Chicago Vice Sox photo #3412: Is it time? Yes, it is time. Everybody's favorite Cobrasnake game: Hipster or Homeless? Let's have a look at the evidence. Ragged gloves...scraggly facial hair...begging for loose dollars...mysterious shit coming out of his hair...mild look of confusion/disgust on neighboring female hipster—hmm, definitely a strong case for homeless. HOWEVER, when was the last time you saw a homeless guy matching his oversized ironic T-shirt with a tight-as-shit tanktop. Ladies and gentlemen, we've got ourselves a hipster!

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Girls don't masturbate the way we do. Instead of playing out a scene where the upstairs neighbor comes down to borrow milk and ends up sucking your dick in the bathroom, they're more into focusing on a color or a nice song or even an undulating golden air sculpture that flows in the wind. That's what's so brilliant about this guy's hair. It is literally the inside of a girl's brain masturbating.

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Ah ha ha. Look how constipated these Jersey Guidos are in the first shot. They're like, "Why did I wax my Adam West, fake tan, barrel chest if I can't show it off?" Then we let them pose shirtless and it was an emotional explosive diarrhea for them ("Aaaah, fuckin' finally").

 

Dear Italian Americans (and French Canadians) of the world, read my lips, taking your shirt off in clubs is for f-a-g-s. It's part of their mating ritual. Not yours. Jersey Shore shirtlessness is the Village People phenomenon of our generation. In 20 years people are going to be looking back on VH1 saying, "How did those people not know it was a fag thing?"

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this is my favorite one by far

 

 

 

 

 

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This is when college students are so drunk they see homeless dudes as wise old sages and they share booze with him and ask him about life and he goes, “I’m a lacaholic.”

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