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blood fart

it rains, it pours

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This is a brief over-view of my last month.

 

I went to visit my granny.

We got stuck in traffic.

She died before we got to see her.

 

The next weekend we had her funeral.

And went to check in on my skitzo uncle.

He had destroyed my childhood home in his crazed state.

He was nowhere to be found.

Probably living in the gutters again.

 

The weekend after that, I went to Houston.

It was boring.

My friend was sick and I drank too much.

 

I came home and moved out of my apartment with my dude.

I guess that meant we broke up.

Fighting and stress and drama.

 

I got over it.

And finished moving back in with my family.

That night they sat me down for an intervention and threatened to kick me out already.

The next night, my mom asked me to sleep in her bed and make sure she didn't die in her sleep.

The next day, we called an ambulance for her.

 

Turns out she has pneumonia.

And her right lung has completely stopped working.

She has been in ICU all week.

They thought she would die.

She didn't.

 

My ex was keeping my cat for me while I dealt with this shit.

They left the door open and somehow only my cat ran away.

Even though my cat was the only one who never even made a move toward to door when it was open.

We didn't find him this morning.

I think they did something with him just to mess with me.

They said they would never do something like that.

But I just don't trust anyone anymore.

 

I wanted to go make out next to a bon fire tonight.

My date thought I would not be able to make it.

So he made other plans.

Now I have to wait another day to do the things I want to do.

 

Tonight, everyone is gone.

But I am not allowed to drink here.

So I sit in my sister-in-law's bathrobe, eating a weed brownie and drinking a Whole Foods Cherry Cream soda and wondering why life is just so shitty lately.

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my only advice is buy more cats.

 

it seems like cats make u happy. so just get a couple and breed am untill u have like a hundred cats. i know somone whos family has so many cats they loiter their whole neighborhood.

 

do that.

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Guest spectr

wow... sounds like a shitty fucking month.. but this should cheer you up..

 

humor00090.jpg

 

and if that doesn't work... then this...

 

pumpkin_beast.jpg

 

and if that doesn't work... i will buy you beer at the bar if you make it to where i live.... i need to go to the bar anyway haven't been there in weeks..

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After I make thousands off my books that I will eventually come around to writing, I will buy a house.

And turn it into a kitten farm.

Kittens will be my bread and butter.

 

Right now, I am mourning the loss of my handsome Danger.

maybe I am just pessimistic, but I don't think I will be getting him back.

 

And I thought about it, and I am just not ready for a new cat yet.

It's going to be hard to out-do Danger.

So I am just going to get a wolf.

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After I make thousands off my books that I will eventually come around to writing, I will buy a house.

And turn it into a kitten farm.

Kittens will be my bread and butter.

 

Right now, I am mourning the loss of my handsome Danger.

maybe I am just pessimistic, but I don't think I will be getting him back.

 

And I thought about it, and I am just not ready for a new cat yet.

It's going to be hard to out-do Danger.

So I am just going to get a wolf.

 

but blood fart look at the bright side.

 

you'll be able to have a kittan for a few months. kittans out do any cat 10 to 1.

 

condolences go out to dangers homies.

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He was my feline counter-part.

Fat and scared of everything.

And super sweet.

We were a match made in heaven.

 

I like them all the same.

Cats.

Kittens.

Puppies.

Baby seals.

Wolves.

Baby polar bears.

 

A wolf/tiger mix would be so brutal.

 

I'm just going to put an ad on craigslist saying I want to come hang out with people's cats.

It seems like people would understand and let me come make new friends.

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fuck em. eat good. dont get sick. french alot. get punchy a little.

maybe get a danger in a basket tattoo. it sucks being bummed(yes homo)

out. i beat up my boyfriend last night. that was fun. hmmmm. im going to

a party tonight...ill punch a baby for you!

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I still haven't taken care of my warrants.

Because I thought jail would be too boring.

I would rather have been sitting in stinky county jail, then have to deal with the shit that's been going on this last month or so.

 

Point being..I don't have ID or passport.

I should do that sometime.

 

I was already going to get a tattoo of Danger sitting fat playing Guitar Hero with a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and pizza next to him.

I guess now I have to step it up a little and get something super fancy to remember my love lost.

 

I should just go to some parties tonight, but I don't really want to be around large groups of jerks.

I would probably end up in jail.

For punching dudes in the throat.

And peeing on their girlfriends.

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l_0ca09c66b5affaca2b3bb504f9e71cfd.jpg

 

I was thinking about doing this tonight.

But having to put on pants and leg warmers and socks and shoes and a shirt and a sweatshirt and a jacket and a scarf and gloves just sounded like a bit too much work.

 

Maybe I will sit on the couch and do cut glass art works.

I am only about five behind schedule.

I say that, and know there is maybe a 5% chance of actually doing anything productive tonight.

 

Weed Lordz.

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Yeah right dude, I can't even listen to half a R.A.M.B.O. album without breaking down into tears.

I am too emotional right now to be out in public.

I have an image to uphold.

I can't be having people see me wandering around, talking to a photo of a thrash cat and crying.

 

My mom left her wallet with me.

She has like, hundreds of dollars, dude.

I should totally just take some of her money and mail off all these packages of random shit that has been sitting in the hallway for months.

She will never know.

 

I will ask her for some money.

To mail packages.

And do that.

 

Why everybody always want to be telling me what to do and how to live my life?

 

Pizza Party! on the couch.

 

I was watching that Hulk Hogan show.

As I sometimes get suckered into doing.

And always I notice that the whole family is totally disgusting.

And gross me out.

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