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We are the champions.


LIVERWURST*

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Out of 18 teams in the league, my softball team won the championship today. We played the play off and the championship back to back as did the other team. Given, it's co-ed which likely adds to the homosexual ubertones. However, a few key points you should understand:

 

1) Me and a few people formed this team (company sponsored) after being rejected from the established team because that team was a bunch of fat people that played the past fews years together and wouldn't let us play on the team - fatties! The established company team landed in last place in there division. They will be playing below ours next season. Our cheesy team name: The Underdogs.

 

2) We were playing the local BMW chain for the crown, which means super hot whores and a sense that they were superior to all humanity. The girls all had make up on in like 95 degree weather, and the team actually cheated by bunting (it's prohibited because YO IT'S SLOW PITCH).

 

3) One of our male players slid and sorta spiked there female catcher sliding into home because she was a whore (after the bunt...ahem). Nice legs though...or they were. She cried.

 

4) The cute blond trainer from our work, as the score was tied, slid head first Pete Rose style to beat the throw and score the final run at the bottom of the inning. She was wearing shorts, a t-shirt, and bleeding everywhere.

 

We are fucking champions, Two of our players went to the hospital tonight, I'm drunk, any of you take the title?

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