MOE-LESTER Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 this shit is pissin me off..ill be at a party and then boom, i gota take a crap. ill be out with my girl and i can feel my ass rumblin. im contemplatin going on a liquid diet or something so i can stop having this terrible shit happen to me. i also really hate wiping my ass. what an awkward thing that every single person on this planet does. plus i got mad asscrack hair (why the fcuk do we have hair in our ass cracks) so it makes wipin my dirty asscrack even harder. shit is fucking TEDIOUS. man i just took a nasty ass beer shit and i can still feel tremors inside my stomach. maybe my digestiven system is fucked up or something, im willing to stop drinking if i can stop getting alcohol shits. it doesnt just happen with beer either, last night i drank some rum and coke and still had mad ass stew comin out. the other night i drank some wine and my shit was fucking PURPLE!! fuck i hate taking shits. its such a awkward, stinky, and not fun thing to do.:lol: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VAJ Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 AIDS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Q666 Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 http://www.ratemypoo.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Some1 Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 haha dude that sucks change your diet... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EGG Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOE-LESTER Posted August 13, 2007 Author Share Posted August 13, 2007 dog ive been eating just carbs and water and shits still hurtin! i havent had fast food or meat in a while. i shit like 2 timse a day this is not fun! its ruining my fucking life for real, as soon as i drop my kids off at the pool i gotta go back and drop another one off because he got stuck behind the child seat or someshit! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ViolentByDesign Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 I had the same shit..for years. Caused me to get fired from jobs and dropped out of highschool. One of your main problems is alcohol. It doesn't matter what form it is in. Sometimes the symptoms won't spring the next morning either, it might take a day or two. What works for me is don't drink, take Nexium for excess stomach acids, and don't drink milk - eat ice cream - hotsauce..shit like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 welcome to my world, holmes. i went to get sushi with my ladyfriend one night. they were giving away bowls of seafood chowder for free. i opted to take part, and ate the whole thing. fifteen minutes later, my stomach is trying to punch it's way out through my asshole. so i excuse myself, go to the bathroom, have one of those violent shits that leaves you wanting to take a nap, and return to the table. only ten minutes later, i'm back on the can, dropping ass like a champ for another 15 minute stint in the shitter. while i'm doing this, my girlfriend is sitting at the table by herself, while others around her give her stares of pity. finally i come back, i sit down, and i say "i can't take this, we've got to get out of here." we packed up the rest of our sushi and went home. this was one of our first dates, and after a year she's still with me. a woman like that is hard to find. edit: rum and cokes are a good way to get the shits and heartburn. trust me, i have a long history with that sauce of champions. i drank it last night, then went to vodka, then did boat drinks, then did a shot of jaeger. ended up getting the worst heartburn of my life. when that cleared, my drunk ass went to 7-11 and bought a sausage egg and cheese muffin, three taquitos, and a bag of munchos. this morning has been a non-stop heartburn having shit festival. but hey, i'm not bleeding out my ass yet, so i'm ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THANKYOU Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 yall fuckers are crazy... taking shits is one of my fav pastimes... MOE LESTOR- cut your ass hair fool. gotta trim that shit back... i shit a few times a day to, due to drinking a lot of dr pepper... but i love taking shits. feels good. you need to man up b! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Blazzed Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 i had a stomach flu last fall. it left me all fucked up. puking, shitting, heartburn. it was the worst. i was constantly taking pepto for the duration of the flu. after three days, i was shitting pure grey turds. i mean, this shit looked those grey gum erasers you can buy, all turned up into a turd shape. boo berry is also good for discolorization of your shit. makes it look like you've got an alien's asshole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vanfullofretards Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 Is this you?? Dude forgot to wipe... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gat Bush Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 You know in some parts of Africa dingleberries are considered a delicacy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deloner Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 thats gotta suck dude. only time my stomach is fucked up is the next day after drinking and only during the morning i gotta take a few beer shits then im good to go drink again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlando Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 is that gilbert grape posing with his lurker? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
podrido Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 i thought this thread said TALKING SHIT IS RUINING MY LIFE and i was fina say same here lil big nigga Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 y'all are reminding me of the funniest story ever told on 12oz.. http://www.12ozprophet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=71416 i'm gonna bump it just for you. i feel your pain though i had a colonoscopy earlier this year Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earl broclo ESQ Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 podrido, i thought it was the same thing when i first opened the thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cola0793 Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 shit fucking helps alot seriously^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlando Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mackfatsoe Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 My roomate has the exact opposite problem. :( ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlando Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 :huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EGG Posted August 13, 2007 Share Posted August 13, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MOE-LESTER Posted August 14, 2007 Author Share Posted August 14, 2007 this shit is ruining my life even more, today was brutal. so this morning my friend comes over and we smoke a few blunts, work on his car for a couple hours. after we are done we are both pretty hungry, so he recomends this chinese joint right up the street. i didnt really want chinese but he was payin so i said fuck it, i wanted fried rice but they didnt have any. so my dumb high ass orders mongolian beef, which came really spicy and all that. i eat that shit. now, 5 hours later, im paying the price. i picked my girl up from work and drove her home and kicked it, when i feel my intestines start to explode. my ass is burning from diarreah prairie doggin. the worst part, my girl lives with 5 other female roomates, who all happen to be home and either using the bathrooms or chilling with their doors open. im NOT about to have ass explosions surrounded by girls. so i tell the beez i need to bounce home because im not feeling too good. she gets mad and threatens to break up with me (no joke). so i smash off in the car and teh next ten minutes were brutal. every red light i manage to catch, my ass is seriously burning. i throw the car into a fire hydrant zone beacuse theres no parking outside my house. i run into my house and strip really quick and proceed to destroy the toilet before i even hit the seat. FUCK IT BURNS. i cant take this shit anymore. im going to stop fucking eating ANYTHING, and drink herbal tea for the next week or some thing. i also learned my grandma had a hereditary stomach ailment which led to stomach ulcers and eventaul cancer, so my moms was flippin out that i had that shit and that i need to see a doctor. plus theres no pepto bismol anywhere in the house. i fucking ahte shitting. plus my hairy ass crack made wiping so much harder, i dont know how to handle this problem either. YALL recommends that i trim my ass hairs, but how the hell do i do that??!?!?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 cyanide and hapiness is awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
^ . ^ Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 stop eating and drinking so much fucking garbage, and you problems should ease up substantially. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 or just get those bags that hang out of your side. i forgot what they are called. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
^ . ^ Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 oh, and try drinking a cup of ginger tea a night with a little bit of honey in it. trust me. my stomach is worse than most people here. I have all the tricks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtydoses Posted August 14, 2007 Share Posted August 14, 2007 wow. just eat right and you will poop right. i'm sure thats been said already. so just start shitting your pants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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