Knim_One Posted July 17, 2007 Author Share Posted July 17, 2007 mexican food burn, or thai food? no im talking about the gallon of lemonaide Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawood Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 word, If I'm home. I cop a q-tip and clean out my ears. btw, how many of you nasty fu@#$rs don't use water when you wipe your ass? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chubbs Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 i barely use paper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Porcelain Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 thats carazy i thought i was one of the only people that used water when i whiped my ass Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iloveboxcars Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 i use baby wipes. they come wet already and smell like lemons. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Porcelain Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 last time i thought i had to take a shit but i guess i just had gas...but i had just got my psp and i was in there for like 30 mins.. haahah luckily no shit came out haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
never[TUA] Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 i barely use paper What the fuck is paper? I use these: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Power Bill Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 We got the ultimo toilettos in Tokyo- they wash, blow dry and even make relaxing water sound when you are in a public toilet so other don't have to hear the gruesome details. I heard Madonna has them in her mansion(s?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terance the terrorist Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 FTW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deloner Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 you use baby wipes and eat baby formula while on the shitter? nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terance the terrorist Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 YEA BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. But seriously, those baby wipes come in handy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Porcelain Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 i heard that costco shit kinda sucks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleeping Pills Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 ok you guys, this is a true story. so today i went out to breakfast with my dad at a really good cafe and had HUGE pancakes & they were really good and shit. i had some top dog, and some pizza too, and a lot of starbucks refills on tea. oh and some mcdonalds.. so anyway my point is, i went over to my friends house later in the day and i was just hanging out and then i had to take a shit all of a sudden. and i really really hate taking shits anywhere else besides my own home so i held it in for a little while (super bad idea) until i really really could not keep it in anymore. so i went to her bathroom, and i tried to shit, and already i knew it was going to be one of those dry gargantuan turds, so i tried to make it as quick and easy as possible (another horrible idea). so the shit is coming out, and this thing is fucking HURTING LIKE FUCKING SHIT on the way out like jesus christ dude. then two more turds came out after but not as big, but my asshole hurt so much already from the first one. so then i flushed and grabbed the toilet paper and wiped my ass for cleanliness, and there was blood all over it when i looked at it. sorry for the length. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ ALL OF THAT: long story short, a humongous turd literally ripped apart my asshole and made it bleed. i can't walk straight and i can't sit directly on my asshole. i imagine this is what the after effects of gay anal sex feel like.. jesus christ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amongst Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 anybody else ever get off while taking a shit? this one time i was gonna take a shit when i woke up in the morning and my dick was hard and i couldnt get it to go down and i really had to take a shit and me not wanting my dick to touch the inside of the toilet i just sat down with my dick out and since i was gonna be here for a while i said "sure why not? and i went to work i do that every morning. one time when i got up tho, i only had to pee, and i ended up peeing in my eye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quaranta-Due Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 I had something like that happen to me, except I was skating and it didn't involve poop... Long story short, hemorrhoids are pretty much for life my dude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amongst Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 about what sleeping pills said: i heard about those "gargantuan turds." when i was in intermediate, someone found one in the girls bathroom. there was such a stir about it that even the boys got to go in and look at it. it was like bigfoot had to take a shit or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleeping Pills Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 i seriously never want to take a shit ever again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knim_One Posted July 17, 2007 Author Share Posted July 17, 2007 i do that every morning. one time when i got up tho, i only had to pee, and i ended up peeing in my eye. lucky for u the ocean is close and u can just rinse that shit off. living in the desert sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nice marmot Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 people use water when they wipe their ass? what the? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mauler5150 Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 Oh man, Sleeping pills stpry was the funniest thing I have read all day. I have never taken a shit that ripped me apart, but I have done ones that were painful before. However, they were more painful from the solidness of them as I swear I have done bigger ones than that with no pain. I dunno, but your story is funnier than any story I have, other than when I told my ex told me she didn't shit right for 3 days after i devastated her, hahahaha! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nice marmot Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 and that must have been hella akward with your friend and all.. well i gotta jet my ass is bleeding.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Internerd Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 I never understood why it takes people fucking donkey years to shit. I take no longer than 1-2 Minutes. Four wheels. wtflol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tango 24 Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 hahaha... when taking a shit, I take my clothes off... I dunno.. paranoid about shitting on my pants or something I guess... and I start to feel all closed in shitting on your pants? what the fuck? i dont know how you shit but my pants are around my ankles with backside firmly planted on seat thereby sealing in all possible shits Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amongst Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 I never understood why it takes people fucking donkey years to shit. I take no longer than 1-2 Minutes. Four wheels. wtflol. exactly how long is a donkey year? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chubbs Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 6.4 minutes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MitchThe$nitch Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 TETRIS on the cell phone - i'm on level 15. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creep3 Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 Read a mag or play on my blackberry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milk Grenades Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 ahh sleeping pills thanks for the laugh first thing in the morning Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EGG Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 i concentrate on my anus to release the longest turd possible....... one time it was really scary cause i had the feeling that i couldn't stop, i was like "ok now i wipe" but i had to continue. a long time ago i had a friend who made floating poo he flushed and then one piece was still floating, always Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yellow Beard Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 I like to whistle while pissing helps it flow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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