blood fart Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 I am sure this will be too many words for most of you to read. That won't stop me from writing it. I get off work and head home. It's payday, so I decide we should spend money. Walk to the paint store by the house. The girl at the store likes us. She wants to talk to us about things she thinks we have in common. Which really is nothing, but we don't tell her otherwise. 20 cans of Harbor Blue and Wildflower Blue for $20. Most people would think that is super cool, because it totally is. Head to Subway for sandwich dinners. No photos. Head back home and pick up the dranks. My mother gave me a DVD of a documentary about hopping trains. We watched that. Or as much of it as I could take. Hobos annoy me sometimes. I went to the balcony to drink. He joins me. We talk. A car comes tearing ass through the parking lot. Bottoms out on the speed bump. Careens out of control at a high speed. Into the dumpster that sits directly infront of our apartment. It knocked the dumpster off the raised pavement bank it sets on. And knocked many pieces of the car off. I say, "OH NOES!!!" They pull over a second. I am assuming to be all like, "DOODERZ!!! WTF??? YOU TOTALLY PWNED THAT DUMPSTER!!!111!" As you can imagine, it was quite loud. Mexicans started converging in the parking lot. The car pulls away. I am giggling hard. I take a photo. The camera's batteries die. MExican dudes put the dumpster back up on the raised concrete slab. No police were called. I go inside to get another beer. A foamy burp didn't work out as well as I was hoping. So I vomited my veggie sandwich into the sink. And turned on the garbage disposal. Those things really come in handy at times like that. Dude is all, "WTF?? YO BREAF STANK!!!" So I brush my teeth. And get another beer. The rest of the night was just typical bonding with the cats. I sang some love songs to them. And we curled up together. I went to sleep. Dude comes rushing in all excited. Just to tell me that one of my crewmates is in town. I tells him, "It's late, what do you want me to do?Turn on my (crew) tracking device and traipse around the city searching for him?" I got called an asshole. And left to go back to sleep. Not much later he comes back in. He had been watching UFC all night. And wanted to play wrestle around. I was tired. But agreed. He wasn't playing around though. And put me in a rear naked choke. I almost passed out. He asked me if I was going to tap out. I say, "fuk you". I try to walk away to the balcony. He follows. With apologies. "You know I would never hurt you intentionally,right?" "If you don't get the fuk away from me I am about to hurt you intentionally." He doesn't listen. I say things that if overheard, would make me sound like a street tough. I meant every word. Things don't really calm down. I go to sleep. And wake up to more apologies. I don't accept. The only thing left to do today is get super stoned. And then lounge in the pool all day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lord_casek Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 it was cool at the beginning and very end. needs more flicks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest spectr Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 way to many words to read... I have been up for 24 hours drinking... \ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest spectr Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 burlesque show tonight... flicks later... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VAJ Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 Bloody didn't your story of the other night have something about you telling a girl not to puke in the sink? Shame on you. I kid I kid. It's totally different in your own place. I know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VAJ Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 way to many words to read... I have been up for 24 hours drinking... \ We get it. You've been drinking for 24 hours. You should make a thread about it...oh wait... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rushawn wuan Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 i pictured everything you said. just like i picture everything everyone says. which is why i find everything funny. i laugh in every conversation. people think im laughing at them. i am not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest spectr Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 We get it. You've been drinking for 24 hours. You should make a thread about it...oh wait... haha.. I already did.... oh wait..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blood fart Posted June 2, 2007 Author Share Posted June 2, 2007 Bloody didn't your story of the other night have something about you telling a girl not to puke in the sink? Shame on you. I kid I kid. It's totally different in your own place. I know. She puked in a bathroom sink. And clogged it up. I puked in the kitchen sink. And it got chopped up by the disposal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grimes Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 Crazy messicans.I actually foam burped into the trash can at the bar last night.Ha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 wheres the one picture? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skilla54 Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 your story sounds pretty normal to me. the only thing tbat deserved a thread would the car crash, but you dont even have pics. i could of told you a veggi sammich from subway would make you throw up. and i really could of done with out reading your account of it in detail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blood fart Posted June 2, 2007 Author Share Posted June 2, 2007 I was never informed that you own the internet. I apologize for not leading a life that intrests you. I didn't bring my camera with me. Later today or tomorrow. If the photo turned out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theo Huxtable. Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 i think we should encourage blood fart to use channel zero as her personal blog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VAJ Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 I agree with Theo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 is that dvd called catching out? you should send a nigga a copy, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blood fart Posted June 2, 2007 Author Share Posted June 2, 2007 Yes it is. If she still has it on her DVR, I will go make you a copy right now. If not, you can probably just have mine. I doubt I will ever watch it again. I am supposed to be writing this book. About myself and my life and my thoughts and bullshit. But I am real lazy. So I just keep waiting for someone to come out with a fancy invention that attaches wires to my brain and records my thoughts. Until that time, I post words on the internet. And hope that out of everything I write, a small percentage can be used in my book Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theo Huxtable. Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 in your book will it be one sentence per line? that'll be a lot of pages Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blood fart Posted June 2, 2007 Author Share Posted June 2, 2007 People that read books don't usually mind having to read sentences. I think it will work out fine. I am not the only person in history who finds it most comfortable to write this way. Some of them have become famous. And written dozens of books. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rushawn wuan Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 o'rly? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theo Huxtable. Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Blazzed Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 this thread is worthless without pics of you in the pool super stoned today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarcasm Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 anybody? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth MontgomeryOner Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 it wasn't that long here's what i got out of it: messicans beer car hit dumpster more messicans ufc wrassling moves domestic squabble david schwimmer beer puke sink garbage disposal not quite in that order or with schwimmer but fairly entertaining on a saturday evening Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
papa_dukes Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 i am chugging some whiskey in honor of you bloodfart you are one a of kind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IOU Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 Bonding with anything is important... Post your cats... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iloveboxcars Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 last night the alarm went off and a light shined directly on me while climbing a fire escape. i would go into detail but i know most of you have the attention span of a 3 year old ADD child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
groyn shmoyn Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 yer dude called me last nite and left me a voicemail. he made promises of painting trains when he comes to town this weekend. i was unable to answer due to severe beer and marijuana intake. i could barely lift my head last nite... the drive home was even better. ill make sure you get the painting. that will make things better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MountHolyoke Posted June 2, 2007 Share Posted June 2, 2007 i thought it was very well written and entertaining. i was only dissappointed when, at the bottom of the post, there were no photos of either the car, or the dumpster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Quickwood Posted June 3, 2007 Share Posted June 3, 2007 haha once puked up my burritos into the bathroom sink, it clogged up those pipes full of puke like you wouldn't believe, then i passed out in a chair which i have not done before or since, i wasn't even drunk, damn that must have been some good ass weed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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