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No Bullshit


Goofygooober
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I remember a thread on here about some kid who liked to sit on the suction pump in his pool while beating off and it sucked his intestinal tract out of his asshole and he had to bite through it to reach the surface so he wouldnt drown or something fucked up along those lines.

 

I'm pretty sure that's from Chuck Palahniuk's Haunted...But either way it's an urban legend. Although I don't doubt there might be some truth to it. People do all kinds of crazy shit

to their bodies "accidentally". I've heard stories about light bulbs, shampoo, champagne,

and beer bottles..it's all equally gross.

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I don't have any weird body-part stories.

 

Here's some of the stupid shit I've done/seen while on acid:

 

Kidnapped a County Sheriff. Did drugs with her.

Talked my way out of being apprehended by a mobile task-force.

Driven through people's backyards for miles at a time.

Hide under blanket. Throw steak-knives into ceiling fan.

Made a blind 25-foot leap into pitch-black treetops because someone yelled 'cop'. Survived.

Taken an 80's Honda to 120+ on the freeway.

Put my foot through said Honda's sunroof (while doing 120+ on the freeway).

Waterballoon-slingshot beer bottles into traffic.

Walked around looking for fights - to intentionally lose.

Broken into, and partied in, industrial-waste treatment facilities.

Saw two of my friends get stabbed. Watched 30 people pummel dude who did the stabbing.

Watched a drunk asshole drive his car through a house - while I was inside partying.

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when i was like 7 my brother filled a bottle of shampoo (with a little shampoo still in it) with water and squeezed it in my face and i swallowed good amount of that shit.

 

it felt hella nasty and i lost my voice for a few second. i also chocked a little but didnt throw up. i tried to get the taste out by brushing my teeth multiple times but it was useless because the taste was like in my throat.

 

eventually that shit went away but it was nasty and i was scared. ever since then i couldnt gargle until last year.

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I don't have any weird body-part stories.

 

Here's some of the stupid shit I've done/seen while on acid:

 

Kidnapped a County Sheriff. Did drugs with her.

Talked my way out of being apprehended by a mobile task-force.

Driven through people's backyards for miles at a time.

Hide under blanket. Throw steak-knives into ceiling fan.

Made a blind 25-foot leap into pitch-black treetops because someone yelled 'cop'. Survived.

Taken an 80's Honda to 120+ on the freeway.

Put my foot through said Honda's sunroof (while doing 120+ on the freeway).

Waterballoon-slingshot beer bottles into traffic.

Walked around looking for fights - to intentionally lose.

Broken into, and partied in, industrial-waste treatment facilities.

Saw two of my friends get stabbed. Watched 30 people pummel dude who did the stabbing.

Watched a drunk asshole drive his car through a house - while I was inside partying.

 

stupid shit you've seen, maybe... i don't believe you've done anything like this.

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i lived up in montana for like 4 years. theres lots of wire fencing the kind where its three strands with barb wire. the particular fence i was messing with the wire was really loose so i put a stick between two of the wires and starting spinning the stick to tighten it. the wire got stiffer and stiffer till i couldnt turn it then broke the the stick un wound and hit me in the face really hard like 3 times. almost like a cartoon i guess. i told my brother not to tell my mom then i relized blood was dripping down my face.

another time when we lived there i was going down a hill on a shitty mountain bike. i didnt understand that front brakes make you fly forward. i cracked my head open.

 

another time i fell off one of those teeter tooter type things that are on swing sets and it racked me in the back of the head it split open.

 

and then one other time i was playing football and running backwards and ran in to a post and cracked it open.

 

i never went to the hospital cause we lived out of town and didnt have money. but i got butter fly bandaides and cyanne pepper i guess it stops the bleeding.

 

i stepped on a rusty nail once 2 and we drove to the local red neck bar and washed my foot in the bathroom sink

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ive heard a story almost exactly the same as that asshole suckage shit. that's gross.

 

i knew this one chick, and about three years ago was the first time she ever dropped acid. and you know how most people stop taking acid after a while cause the bad trips scare them away from that shit right? well this chick never experienced a bad trip, so she stayed taking this shit and it got to the point where she took it every single day. now, three years later, she doesn't take acid anymore, but she took it so much that now she's on a permanent trip that will never go away. there's a plane that circles around her head constantly, and there's a parrot that's perched on her shoulder permanently. no bullshit.

 

never take acid.

 

yeah I heard that if acid gets into your spinal coard then its perminently inside of you and you have a lifelong trip

that shit is fucked up

and so is that nerve ending story

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The first week of high school, we were doing an asesment test that involved reading out loud. I came to class tripping balls on blotter. We read this story out loud alphabetically by last name. My name is almost at the end of the alphabet, so just trying to follow along in the book so I'd know where to pick up at when it was my turn was horrifying. I sneezed and thought snot was all over the place, luckily my friend was near me and told me there was no snot. I read my part, and afterwards, the teacher called me up to the desk. I was shook. She just wanted to congratulate me on having the highest score she'd ever seen, saying my reading was at junior in college level blah blah blah, fuck that was the feeling of relief. I ditched the rest of the day. Years later I meet her again at an alternative education center. She was aggresively hitting on me, and when she realized my girl was with me, she got all catty with her. I found out these two dudes in high school ran a train on her.

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