count chocula Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 person: ay yo... you got it? me: na man person: ay yo.... i got that purp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbrshmonster Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 at subway, getting a subway MELT. you want cheese on this? you want this toasted? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-TORN- Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 im in LA and i saw this mad big tloks throw up, and i hear this kid ask his friend "man, do you think he got any respect for that?" Like a fuckin HUD pops into their vision when they do a piece sayin bullshit like ''Throwie completed. +15 Respect'' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtydoses Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 today at work: me: "do you want dark or light roast coffee?" idiot: "light, if ya have any." ummm what? dude, would i have offered you both if i only had one? GTFO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shai Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 They asked you where the ferris wheel was at the Santa Monica pier? That's gotta be the dumbest question I have heard in a while. /livedinsantamonicaoner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
never[TUA] Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 Hahaha this thread wins. I've got dreads and people ask me the stupidest shit all the time about them. "OH MY GOD you have dreads?" and I go "OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK?!?! I HAVE DREADS?!?!?" and run in a circle. or "How do you wash them?" "With the blood of my enemies." or "How long did it take for you to grow them?" as if dreads cause hair to grow faster or slower than average. Stupid music shit bugs me..like when people are checking your Ipod and they go "holy shit you listen to [insert band name here]." I work at an oil changer and I fucking hate when people ask why things are priced the way they are. like "wow that much for an oil change. thats expensive, why?" as if I have any control over the pricing of our nation wide chain of stores. I should be like, "yeah, you're right it is expensive, let me just change that for you." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~KRYLON2~ Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 random person at party: can i get one of your beers me: ummmmmmmmmm NO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tuff Tone Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 random person at party: can i get one of your beers me: ummmmmmmmmm NO or, can i hit you blunt? me: ummmmmmmmmmmmm fuck no Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gasfacevictm Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 "cold enough for you out there?" "it's not the heat, it's the humidity." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tuff Tone Posted February 13, 2008 Share Posted February 13, 2008 me- no, not at all, i wish it was alot colder than this or if i walk in a building soaked n fuckin wet dumb ass- is it raining? me- no ass hole i like to take a shower in my cloths Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pfffffffffft Posted February 13, 2008 Author Share Posted February 13, 2008 "cold enough for you out there?" "it's not the heat, it's the humidity." CLASSIC.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graflove Posted August 13, 2010 Share Posted August 13, 2010 Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift? well atleast its funny... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tuco Salamanca Posted August 13, 2010 Share Posted August 13, 2010 I'm in a bakery and I overheard this.. customer: is there yeast in your bread, because I'm allergic cashier: what's yeast? facepalm.gif 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightmareOnElmStreet Posted August 13, 2010 Share Posted August 13, 2010 fucking supermarket people, via the deli. "hey dude, do you guys sell jugs of water?" plenty more but this shit takes the cake hands down, like, MY DOG, YOUR IN A FUCKING GROCERY STORE MAN!!! A FUCKING GROCERY STORE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elorock Posted August 13, 2010 Share Posted August 13, 2010 I do live sound for a living. ME- On a stage covered with instruments and microphones. Setting up a giant sound system. Everybody that walks by- "Is there a concert here tonight???" Repeat x1000 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarkDaveChapman Posted August 13, 2010 Share Posted August 13, 2010 some woman asked me at my work: "what does cake batter ice cream taste like?" ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elorock Posted August 13, 2010 Share Posted August 13, 2010 "Do you have an extra cigarette?" "Sorry. The pack only came with 20." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoneBonerOner Posted August 13, 2010 Share Posted August 13, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boost™ Posted August 13, 2010 Share Posted August 13, 2010 my friend, "SHOULD I THROW A WINDOW AT A ROCK!!!.........................i mean rock at a window.." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andyoner Posted August 13, 2010 Share Posted August 13, 2010 "Are you at your house?" when they called your "house phone". Obviously you fucking idiot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enmity Posted August 13, 2010 Share Posted August 13, 2010 q : how much is postage going to cost me on this letter. me : lets see... 44 cents q: wow thats expensive .. can i just put these 2 cent stamps on it. me: then it wont go anywhere q: what do you mean ????????? (RIGHT FUCKING HERE) me: i mean its not going to go anywhere. its not even going to make it over this counter q: ok fine i guess ill take a stamp. me: ok 44 cents ladies and gentlemen .. i get conversations about 44 cents. hatemyjob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DurkStevens Posted August 13, 2010 Share Posted August 13, 2010 anyway...you ever work at a cash register? you'll never hear so much dumb shit in your life. THIS. Its out of control. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DurkStevens Posted August 13, 2010 Share Posted August 13, 2010 or, can i hit you blunt? me: ummmmmmmmmmmmm fuck no Weak! Its a blunt...whats one hit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
!@#$% Posted August 14, 2010 Share Posted August 14, 2010 excellent bump. boss: order supplies me: (orders supplies) boss: have you ordered those supplies yet? me (with bike in elevator at work) person in elevator: do you ride to work? oontzer: can you change my screenname? salesbitch: can i help you with something? jesusfreak: have you accepted the lord jebus as your savior? neighborhood hoodlums: does your dog bite? conservative relatives: who do you hate the police? ugh i guess i could go on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mercer Posted August 14, 2010 Share Posted August 14, 2010 I'm chilling at this mural that's being painted all week long - hey, what is that? hey, what are they doing? I called and left a voice mail the day after I stayed the night with a girl I'm dating, asked if she'd like to meet up with me the next day and she never got back to me - Text message a week later - "Why haven't you called?" I light up a cigarrette and hear this- do you know how bad for you that is? WTF, you think I just time traveled here from the 1879? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
groyn shmoyn Posted August 14, 2010 Share Posted August 14, 2010 relating to all piercings/tattoos... "did that hurt?" uhh...it didnt tickle. *aaannnnndddd walk.* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stresssack Posted August 14, 2010 Share Posted August 14, 2010 After getting obviously hurt: "Dude, did that hurt? Fuck you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grove rat Posted August 14, 2010 Share Posted August 14, 2010 i was riding around dallas last night(on my motorcycle) and i stopped on lower greenville and as i was getting off my bike some fool asked if i rode. i looked at him with a sorta squinted eye and cocked head like wtf did you just ask me, before i could even say anything he said 'never mind, that was a stupid question' i said yea, just a little bit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miley Cyrus Posted August 14, 2010 Share Posted August 14, 2010 DUDE REMEMBER THAT TIME WE WERE BLACKED OUT?! 'the fuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mdot Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 I worked at a call center taking orders for satellite TV once. Automated system as soon as a caller gets sent to the new customer dept: "You must have a valid credit or debit card to complete your order today". After 15-20 min of setting up a new installation, customer: "Soooooooo....... do I need a credit card today?". NO BITCH! LET ME REWRITE COMPANY POLICY AND MAKE AN EXCEPTION JUST FOR YOUR BROKE NO CREDIT HAVIN' ASS! JUST SEND CASH TO MY HOME ADDRESS AND I'LL HOOK YOU UP. I also worked at a call center for virgin mobile cell phones. Customer: I bought my son a virgin mobile USA phone and sent him to camp in Canada, why doesn't his phone work? I'm sure I could come up with a million, if I think of any more good ones I'll post later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.