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Anxiety...


holy roller.
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I’m a very socially awkward dude, and especially when it comes to meeting new people. I even get this anxiety when I’m around people that I know pretty well, and it's mentally paralyzing, causing me to leave the group of people I’m with or even avoid meeting up with them in the first place. Sometimes when I’m at parties and shit, I get so nervous that I leave without telling anyone and go do my own thing. I’ve become pretty good at avoiding situations that induce these feelings, but that doesn't make the problem go away.

 

The problem is that I want to meet knew people and feel comfortable in the group. I’m tired of being the introvert and I want to talk to people but I just get so nervous. This shit even happens at my family gatherings. I want to get better at casually conversing with others without felling like an idiot. My mind just goes blank when I’m talking to someone, it's like I can only think straight when I’m by myself.

 

I feel like I need to be forced to experience these situations until I learn how to function, or get some kind of prescription for anti-anxiety, I don’t know but it drives me crazy!

 

Any advice?

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Guest R@ndomH3ro

Dude...calm down, and just talk to people

 

Or just listen until you feel comfortable talking

 

Break out of your shell and kind of make yourself go out and meet people

 

Dont be that dude.

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I feel you. Only I dont get nervous. People as a general whole just piss me off and I feel that my intelligence is being insulted. So usually I avoid people and their small talk because I just dont fucking like people. Start taking St. John's Wort. That helps me get through the day without any altercations in random places like the grocery store. I also drink a lot. This helps too. Sometimes.

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Imagine that the other person has just as much if not more social anxiety.

How would you talk to them to help them break out of their shell?

Not in a condescending way, but just for small conversation.

Let other people talk about themselves.

What types of things do they talk about?

Is the conversation personal or impersonal.

Learn to be a good listener.

Give short, thought out responses until you feel confident elaborating.

Watch how other people interact.

It's mostly trial and error, and it can be a tedious process to break out of one's shell. You don't need anxiety meds, but a lot of times they help. If you can get them, learn how to use them without becoming dependent on them. The important thing is learning new behaviors and how to function, with the goal of eventually not needing medication in order to do so.

 

(It's taken me years to become adequately social with people. I'm still working on becoming the outgoing type without being an obnoxious cunt...)

just my 2 cents.

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does your name imply consumption of the rolls..... this may be the cause of your problem if thats the case....

 

haha, i was def. wondering the same.

even if not, though...do you chief heavily, or even moderately?

for some folks, that'll do it.

 

if it's not a substance issue, are you fat? ugly? dress like crap?

if so, all of these things can be worked on. hit the gym, rack some new gear and fake confidence until you feel confidence.

 

i probably SHOULD have aaalllllot of social anxiety, but i generally have none.

i'm 22 but i look about 15, i'm slightly brainfried, i dress like a yugoslavian rent boy on PCP, i'm DIRT poor, skinny, and have the bridge of my nose pierced, which i will admit is rather disgusting.

i just choose not to give a rat's ass and own the shit out of it, and as a result i have friends of all types, from conservative brosephs to weirdo scumbags and everything in between.

 

in short, if it's not a drug thing or a legitimate psychological disorder, confidence is simply something you have to DECIDE to have.

 

edit: medication should be thought of as a last resort.

 

now if you'll excuse me i have insects to build.

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The best way to get over your fear of talking to people is to practice on total strangers that you'll never see again. Just go hang out in a public place that you don't normally frequent, and start by asking random strangers for the time. Sounds stupid, but it's basic social interaction, and it's a start. Really simple: "Excuse me, do you have the time?" and regardless of what they answers, just reply with "Thanks". Do this until you don't feel nervous about asking a stranger for the time, and then bump it up a notch. Start asking people for directions somewhere. It'll put you into a slightly more involved conversation. Just practice until you feel comfortable.. Once you've had a few conversations that have carried on a bit, you'll start to feel more confident and the whole social anxiety thing will melt away.

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...good suggestions but I beleive I (maybe this cat) have a chemical imbalance, mine is due to formally abusing drugs for years, but my brother is the same way (little drugs). Does your family have a history of social phobia or anxiety disorders? Has it progressively gotten worse? Go see a doc and have a long chat...get with the living (quote from a drug company?).

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