holy roller. Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 I’m a very socially awkward dude, and especially when it comes to meeting new people. I even get this anxiety when I’m around people that I know pretty well, and it's mentally paralyzing, causing me to leave the group of people I’m with or even avoid meeting up with them in the first place. Sometimes when I’m at parties and shit, I get so nervous that I leave without telling anyone and go do my own thing. I’ve become pretty good at avoiding situations that induce these feelings, but that doesn't make the problem go away. The problem is that I want to meet knew people and feel comfortable in the group. I’m tired of being the introvert and I want to talk to people but I just get so nervous. This shit even happens at my family gatherings. I want to get better at casually conversing with others without felling like an idiot. My mind just goes blank when I’m talking to someone, it's like I can only think straight when I’m by myself. I feel like I need to be forced to experience these situations until I learn how to function, or get some kind of prescription for anti-anxiety, I don’t know but it drives me crazy! Any advice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny ballbags Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 get a job dealing with people... like customer service or sales or some shit.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
^ . ^ Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 maybe speak to a professional before you start asking for meds, or 12oz for that matter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BruceLeroy Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 ive felt like this ever since i finished high school.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest R@ndomH3ro Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 Dude...calm down, and just talk to people Or just listen until you feel comfortable talking Break out of your shell and kind of make yourself go out and meet people Dont be that dude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avancier2 Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 I feel you. Only I dont get nervous. People as a general whole just piss me off and I feel that my intelligence is being insulted. So usually I avoid people and their small talk because I just dont fucking like people. Start taking St. John's Wort. That helps me get through the day without any altercations in random places like the grocery store. I also drink a lot. This helps too. Sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnny ballbags Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 does your name imply consumption of the rolls..... this may be the cause of your problem if thats the case.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wayne hits Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 try paxil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blood fart Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 I think it implies he paints freights. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blood fart Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 I have an anti-social personality disorder. I go to parties on occassion. I drink to excess. I enjoy xanax with my Sparks. I don't have problems talking to people. I have problems talking to people without being a mean jerk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GEAsusONEnep Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GEAsusONEnep Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 Bloodfart beat me to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
count chocula Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 the trees have been having this effect on me lately especially the edibles Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estaked Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 yea i get where your coming from i was kinda having to deal with that same shit but idk... i guess i just got over an saw a lot of shit i was missing out on... oh and just drink ussally works for most ppl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iloveboxcars Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 people arent as cool as they seem. i used to be socially awkward, now that im not i wish i still was so i wouldnt have met half the people that i have met recently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiliStCynical Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 Imagine that the other person has just as much if not more social anxiety. How would you talk to them to help them break out of their shell? Not in a condescending way, but just for small conversation. Let other people talk about themselves. What types of things do they talk about? Is the conversation personal or impersonal. Learn to be a good listener. Give short, thought out responses until you feel confident elaborating. Watch how other people interact. It's mostly trial and error, and it can be a tedious process to break out of one's shell. You don't need anxiety meds, but a lot of times they help. If you can get them, learn how to use them without becoming dependent on them. The important thing is learning new behaviors and how to function, with the goal of eventually not needing medication in order to do so. (It's taken me years to become adequately social with people. I'm still working on becoming the outgoing type without being an obnoxious cunt...) just my 2 cents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lepthebeard Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 ...me to until I started taking Paxil...and cutting down on the weeds... ...I never wanted to be the type to take prescription drugs but eventually I had to...life sucks, drink more... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iloveboxcars Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 i took paxil back in highschool. paxil was great. i started feeling myself getting addicted though so i cut myself off and just sold them for awhile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lepthebeard Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 ...they are great for longevity as well...BONUS! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CALIgula Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 hang out with arab people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iloveboxcars Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 ...they are great for longevity as well...BONUS! i remember not wanting to have sex at all whilst on them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PERMAFRIED_ Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 does your name imply consumption of the rolls..... this may be the cause of your problem if thats the case.... haha, i was def. wondering the same. even if not, though...do you chief heavily, or even moderately? for some folks, that'll do it. if it's not a substance issue, are you fat? ugly? dress like crap? if so, all of these things can be worked on. hit the gym, rack some new gear and fake confidence until you feel confidence. i probably SHOULD have aaalllllot of social anxiety, but i generally have none. i'm 22 but i look about 15, i'm slightly brainfried, i dress like a yugoslavian rent boy on PCP, i'm DIRT poor, skinny, and have the bridge of my nose pierced, which i will admit is rather disgusting. i just choose not to give a rat's ass and own the shit out of it, and as a result i have friends of all types, from conservative brosephs to weirdo scumbags and everything in between. in short, if it's not a drug thing or a legitimate psychological disorder, confidence is simply something you have to DECIDE to have. edit: medication should be thought of as a last resort. now if you'll excuse me i have insects to build. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TresOne Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 The best way to get over your fear of talking to people is to practice on total strangers that you'll never see again. Just go hang out in a public place that you don't normally frequent, and start by asking random strangers for the time. Sounds stupid, but it's basic social interaction, and it's a start. Really simple: "Excuse me, do you have the time?" and regardless of what they answers, just reply with "Thanks". Do this until you don't feel nervous about asking a stranger for the time, and then bump it up a notch. Start asking people for directions somewhere. It'll put you into a slightly more involved conversation. Just practice until you feel comfortable.. Once you've had a few conversations that have carried on a bit, you'll start to feel more confident and the whole social anxiety thing will melt away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lepthebeard Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 ...good suggestions but I beleive I (maybe this cat) have a chemical imbalance, mine is due to formally abusing drugs for years, but my brother is the same way (little drugs). Does your family have a history of social phobia or anxiety disorders? Has it progressively gotten worse? Go see a doc and have a long chat...get with the living (quote from a drug company?). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
26SidedCube Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 You're having panic attacks. Talk to a doctor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stunt double Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 LiliStCynical is on point... as someone who has been prescribed anxiety & depression meds before, i wouldn't advise rushing out to get a prescription. do you have a really close friend that you feel comfortable talking to? maybe go see a psychologist, talk to them one on one... a good psychologist is really understanding and easy to talk to... i used to have serious anxiety problems, i was really self conscious of what others thought of me, so i would avoid socialising. then i kinda realised my pattern of behaviour, and figured "fuck it, people are gonna judge me, and i can't change that no matter how i behave..." if someone is gonna judge me without really getting to know me, they aren't the sort of person i want to know anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THANKYOU Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 dude i got the same problem... i think mine stems from this big situation i was in back in the days, where i lost some really good friends to some he say she say bullshit, and just kinda fucked up my reality on how i view people / friendship etc. during that time i got really depressed, kept to myself, and basically developed the ability to just be ok being by myself, and not worrying about anyone else or worrying about hanging with anyone else, even though id like to hang with other people, im fine being alone to... which before that falling out with some of those good friends of mine, i was the life of the party, everyone wanted me around, i couldnt stand being bored by myself or lonely... so i got real good at just being by myself, for instance the movies, i would never go to the movies or out to eat and sit by myself, id always want a friend around, now i dont give a fuck, ill do pretty much anything alone, except go downtown to bars / clubs.... lately my biggest problem is getting into circles, my friends kinda suck, and so making new friends or getting into new circles, is hard as fuck.... there's that fakeness to it that i cant seem to let go, like you know how you go out with some people from work, and nobodies really being themselves because you dont know them and they dont know you... and its all fakeness and being nice and trying not to offend people type shit... i fucking hate that, and after being in that type of situation for a certain amount of time, i wanna bounce and just be on my own as well...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ViolentByDesign Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 Weed fucked me up like this dude. If you smoke weed stop. Like I smoked a lot the past few days, went to my orientation for work tonight and felt totally fucking nervous and awkward. I was mad that it happened too because there was this fly ass fucking bitch in there with me and I would of liked to small talk her. It's hard right now because I'm broke so I either have to sit inside or chill with my friends who all smoke weed. Once I get the loot coming in I can just go play poker or go places instead of sitting around puffing ganja. Through trial and error I have noticed that although I am slightly anxious sometimes, it doesn't really fuck with me when I'm not puffing weed. Regularly I can be a little apprehensive but in that state I start shaking and feel dizzy and can't talk to people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THANKYOU Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 drinking has helped me out a lot to, i can drink and go anywhere. got that i dont give a fuck in me when im on it. and i tend not to worry about getting in a fight, or finding trouble, or worrying about who i might run into etc etc.... so drinking helps some. also, just get out there, im in the same boat, and i to feel like i have to just keep forcing myself to try and face the fear head on... for instance: at work we had a team outing, where work pays for your dinner, and they were going to this cajun style restraunt that was like real high class, etc etc... well i almost didnt go because i had never been there before, i didnt know if id like the food (im a very picky eater which, in front of new people, can be embarrassing, because it makes me feel like im not normal or im a pest to the others who eat whatever or whatever...) and i didnt know the atmosphere in the place etc etc... well i sucked it up, and forced myself to go, and i had a blast. real chill spot, dimmed lighting, nice relaxing music, and ate a 5 course meal, with a $30 dollar steak, which was excellent, got to know some people i work with more intimately, and had a really good time, and the meal was free.... but what i learned was to just fucking go, check the shit out, and if worse comes to worse, you can always bounce... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyeBee Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 I don't have any socail anxiety, I'm actually real outgoing, but I pretty much hafta be drunk to enjoy a party or whatever because I fuckin hate people I don't know bumping into me, and hovering over me My suggestion is to get drunk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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