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Harvey Wallbanger

My day (yesterday edition, with pictures and muppets.)

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My friend got free passes to go see an advanced screening of a new Andy Samberg vehicle called Hot Rod. Being "in the industry", we get to go to these fairly often. It's not a bad way to spend an afternoon. You sometimes have to stand in line for an hour or so, but usually you just show up at the specified time, and you get to watch a free movie that no one else is going to see for a couple of weeks or months. Sometimes, the director or one of the actors is there, and they'll do a question and answer type of thing. And afterwards, it's really easy to sneak into another movie.

 

So yesterday, 5 of us met up at my friend's house in Brooklyn before the movie. When we arrived, she announced that she had a surprise for us: pot brownies. Apparently, her idiot roomate had made them last week, and then decided that they were too strong for him to handle and that he wanted nothing to do with them. Being almost thirty years old, I was a little bit hesitant to eat a pot brownie in the middle of a weekday afternoon; I have no problem with getting a little stoned now and then, but I like to at least maintain an air of adultivity. But I don't have to work this week, and I was on my way to what promised to be a mindless, football-to-the-crotch comedy, so I went ahead and got absurdly high and played with her new kitten until it was time to leave. We made it about two blocks before stumbling into a Sesame Street shoot that was taking place in our neighborhood. We all got really excited and stopped to gawk.

 

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This muppet was talking to some little kid, and after every third or fourth take, his head would sort of fall back like his neck was broken, and this dude would pop out of his throat and ask the producer how his hand gestures looked or something.

 

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Since I work freelance in TV production, and think Sesame Street would be really fun to build sets for, I started talking to one of the producers and gave her a card. Most of our group of friends was standing about twenty feet away, watching the muppet, but my friend Tim came with me. The producer said, "Say... would you guys like to be on the show?" We'll have the muppet interview you... do you think you can define the word 'dillemma' so that kids could understand it?" I told her I could, and she said that we would do it as soon as the segment they were working on wrapped up. I got really excited, because it would be fucking rad to be on Sesame Street, and I was really high and about to be interviewed by a muppet. My friends expressed some concern that it would be inappropriate to appear on a kid's show in my state, but I assured them it would be fine.

 

And then it started pouring. The crew quickly started breaking down their equipment, and the muppet/man ran into the back of a truck. The producer told me they wouldn't be able to shoot the interview, and gave me her email address. Hopefully, I will remember to send her a resume, and get a job on Sesame Street. Or at least get interviewed by a muppet. I'd like to chill with Gordon, too. That dude seems cool.

 

We continued on to the movie theater, which was in Times Square. I try to avoid Times Square and it's inevitable throngs of tourists, scientologists, and cops whenever possible, and that goes triple for when I'm stoned off my ass and it's pouring rain. Some enormous black girl with gold fronts nearly poked out my eye with her fake Dolce and Gabbana umbrella when she realized that she had nearly missed the last hot pretzel vendor, and there wouldn't be another for at least forty feet. I would have taken a picture, but it was raining much too hard. She looked exactly like you would imagine, anyway, only fatter.

 

We got into the theater, where I spent about fifteen dollars on a stomachache, and got really good seats. The two rows behind us were roped off, presumably for film critics. Tim somehow got us involved in a conversation about Avril Lavine with the two sixteen year old girls that were sitting next to us. They had just seen a show that we had worked on with her, and had all sorts of questions about whether we thought she was boring , short, a bitch, on drugs, etc. Then they wanted to know who was in our top 8 on MySpace. It was pretty much the exact conversation you would expect to have with a sixteen year old at a movie theater. Then, as the lights went down before the movie was set to start, Andy Samberg and Rachel Dratch walked in and sat right behind us. A minute later, Amy Pohler and her husband, Wil Arnet, came in and joined them. And then the movie started, and was fucking hysterical. It was like if Napoleon Dynamite had been funny, only with more swearing, hilarious falls, pants-shitting, and Andy Samberg. It was amazing. I ate tons of pocorn and candy and about seventy ounces of soda, and laughed my ass off.

 

 

Anyone else do anything cool this week?

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Harv has a dope life...

 

But then again, the grass is always greener and all that...

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First good thread in channel zero in about two years.

were you tripping out over how you were going to do in the interview? I know I would if I was bentski'ed and being interviewed by a muppet and being asked about word meanings.

and yeah, napoleon dynamite sucked.

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Get a prenup, and when you're ready to leave her just have me over and I will bed the shit out of her.

 

If I'm busy I will get one of my equally good looking friends to do it.

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I don't know... if you're going to have a conversation with this guy, I think you're probably better off being high.

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Oh, and I almost forgot... I bought some cookies and lemonade from this lemonade stand, and it was awesome. I have a very strict policy about patronizing lemonade stands whenever possible. You know, support local business and such.

 

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The littler of these two girls was running the show, and she could barely pick up the lemonade pitcher. She was hysterical. Then her sister came out to buy a glass, and she yelled at her. She was really indignant, like, "you already bought one glass!" and her sister was like, "That's the point of a lemonade stand, DOY!!!" and went back inside. The little girl waited until she was sure the door was closed, and whispered, "That's my sister. She's a jerk."

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the lemonade stand story is funny.

 

too bad it was Telly...or those martian muppets..."yip yip yip yip yip yip...uuhh huh...oohhhhh"

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Guest Ginger Bread Man

haha super funny. so night before yesterday i made a chocolate bud cake. yesterday afternoon i ate 4 rather large slices... had me walking around the city high as fuck for 10 hours at least. good times. being on sesame street would have been the whats up

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The funniest part is that I'm on sets with celebrities and shit all the time, and it's no big deal. The producers probably thought I was lying about being an art director, because I was straight geeking about seeing a muppet, and I think I took about sixty pictures.

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Oh, and I almost forgot... I bought some cookies and lemonade from this lemonade stand, and it was awesome. I have a very strict policy about patronizing lemonade stands whenever possible. You know, support local business and such.

 

[ATTACH]54895[/ATTACH]

 

The littler of these two girls was running the show, and she could barely pick up the lemonade pitcher. She was hysterical. Then her sister came out to buy a glass, and she yelled at her. She was really indignant, like, "you already bought one glass!" and her sister was like, "That's the point of a lemonade stand, DOY!!!" and went back inside. The little girl waited until she was sure the door was closed, and whispered, "That's my sister. She's a jerk."

 

oh man, i'd pay like $5 for a cold home brew lemonade right now...instead I'm going to have go go to the shops to treat this hangover

 

 

good story

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today at work, i basically hung out and listened to music, and talked to an art dealer. when i was "working," i was making sure the sculpture i fabricated was installed completely correct. its at a childrens museum, and the employee was asking the chil'uns what they saw on it and a little boy said "flying animaaaalssss!!!!" little kids are great.

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Yay lemonaide! My little sister used to set up those things..I hope she never called me a jerk behind my back.

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What's your job, Wallbanger, if you don't mind me asking?

 

Little kids are hilarious. I was a teaching aide for a couple of months, and I saw a little girl kick a little boy in the balls. When I asked why she kicked him she answered "That hurts boys, and maybe he won't make more boys now." That might have been better then a grown women's answer.

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