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lord_casek

pussy and beer: a comparison

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It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and pussy...

A beer is always wet.

A pussy needs encouragement.

Advantage: Beer

A beer tastes horrible served hot.

A pussy tastes better served hot.

Advantage: Pussy

Having a frosted ice cold beer makes you satisfied.

Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.

Advantage: Beer

Beers have commercials making fun of hot pussy.

Pussy is its own commercial and needs no advertisement.

Advantage: Tie

If you get a hair in your beer you want to throw up.

If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.

Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box.

A pussy is a box you can cum in.

Advantage: Pussy

Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.

Pussy likes head and everything that cums after.

Advantage: Pussy

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.

If a pussy smells like brew don’t get near it.

Advantage: Beer

If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad.

If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.

Advantage: Beer

6 beers in a night and you better not drive.

6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.

Advantage: Pussy

Buy too much beer and you will get fat.

Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.

Advantage: Tie

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.

You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.

Advantage: Pussy

If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer.

If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five.

Advantage: Pussy

With beer, bigger is better.

With pussy smaller is better.

Advantage: Beer

Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.

Wearing a condom makes a pussy just another pleasure hole.

Advantage: Beer

Pussy can make you see God.

Beer can make you see the porcelain god.

Advantage: Pussy

If you think all day about the next pussy you are normal.

If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.

Advantage: Pussy

Peeling labels off of beer bottles is boring.

Peeling panties off of a pussy is fun.

Advantage: Pussy

If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired.

If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.

Advantage: Tie

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break or spill.

If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.

Advantage: Beer

If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.

If you change to another pussy, you can never go back.

Advantage: Beer

The best beer you ever had was Ok.

The best pussy you have ever had was fantastic.

Advantage: Pussy

The worst beer you ever had you threw up or spit out

The worst pussy you have ever had was great.

Advantage: Pussy

Beer makes you fart.

Pussy farts aren’t for everyone.

Advantage: Beer

Beer comes in all tastes, sizes, and labels.

Pussy comes in all sizes, kinds, colors, and types.

Advantage: Tie

You can get up and leave a beer and never go back.

Leave a pussy and you’ll never hear the end of it.

Advantage: Beer

Beer is limited to what you can do with it.

There are almost no limitations on pussy if you’re creative.

Advantage: Pussy

Bad beer: Heineken, Carling Black Label, Moosehead

Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.

Advantage: Tie

Good beer: Chili Beer, Schlitz, Miller Draft

Good pussy: It’s hard to find a bad Pussy.

Advantage. Pussy

The government taxes beer.

Some pussy comes with a fee, all come with baggage.

Advantage: Tie

If you spill a beer you can clean it up.

If pussy spills out it can be cleaned.

Advantage: Tie

Beer is acceptable with a head.

If it looks like a Pussy but has a head it’s unacceptable.

Advantage: Beer

Beer does not go well in the shower.

Pussy is great in the shower.

Advantage: Pussy

Beer makes you Pee.

Pussy pee is not for me.

Advantage: Beer

Beer tastes good.

Pussy is less filing.

Advantage: Tie

Beer comes fat free.

Fat pussy is an acquired taste.

Advantage: Beer

You can’t dress up a beer.

Pussy is almost always dressed up.

Advantage: Pussy

There is never a time when you can’t have a beer.

There are times when a pussy can’t be had.

Advantage: Beer

If you get drunk and pee in your beer no one cares.

If you get drunk and pee in a pussy you may have your Winnie cut off.

Advantage: Beer

Beer can’t multiply and have little beers.

Pussy can almost certainly multiply.

Advantage: Beer

Beer looks the same sober as drunk.

Some Pussy looks better drunk than sober.

Advantage: Beer

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Welcome to Myspace bulletins circa two years ago.

 

The taste of beer makes me vomit.

Unless I am already drunk.

 

And I have nothing to say about the other.

The word makes me uncomfortable.

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Yeah but I generally don't like to jizz in my beer.

 

 

so, you're saying there are times when you do like jizz in your beer, just not all of the time?

 

 

ghey.JPG

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Welcome to Myspace bulletins circa two years ago.

 

The taste of beer makes me vomit.

Unless I am already drunk.

 

And I have nothing to say about the other.

The word makes me uncomfortable.

 

 

 

welcome to "i don't read the bulletins on myspace land"

 

Valley.jpg

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I drink beer when I shower... even if pussy is in there with me.

Hot shower... Great!

Hot shower... plus a Cold beer... Awesome. Try it!

Hot shower... plus a Cold beer... Pussy with her own beer, not stealing mine...

^^I'm off work in 2 hours... I'll get back to you on this one tomorrow.

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so, you're saying there are times when you do like jizz in your beer, just not all of the time?

 

Sometimes I spill my beer into a pussy, and then I jizz in it.

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Hmm...I've never gone to crack open a cold one only to find a tampon blocking the way. Advantage beer?

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Sometimes I spill my beer into a pussy, and then I jizz in it.

 

 

oh, well ok, then.

 

just as long as you don't push on her stomach and make jizzed up beer squirt back into your mouth.

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this one time at band camp...

 

my homie was eating some sluts punnani.

when he was done, she poured some beer

in a rag, and wiped herself down there.

then, my other homie proceeded to lick

her chocha...good times, good times!

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gross....

 

i haven't eaten pussy since the 90s.

 

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

awesome....i should use that as my signature!

 

 

 

*edit*

 

PussyMyAntidrug.gif

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beer wins on the daily.

 

the act of fucking is champ and all, but at the end of the day, beer gives me more no-strings-attached satifaction than pussy ever does.

 

beer is simple. you enjoy it.

pussy, although enjoyable, comes with too much bullshit.

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The best beer you ever had was Ok.

The best pussy you have ever had was fantastic.

Advantage: Pussy

 

what the fuck?? the best beer i have ever had was fucking GODLY you worm

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