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10 WEEKS ON THE WAGON....


prawn laksa

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My brother decided that at age 30, he was going to start being a drug addict.

And mess up his life.

 

He doesn't want to listen to me.

 

My family asks me what we should do about it.

I guess I am the authority on these types of things.

I tell them what to do.

Hopefully it will work.

 

It's stressful.

Dealing with things like this.

 

I am going home to get drunk.

And listen to Black Flag.

And watch The Warriors.

And try not to throw things off my balcony.

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That's what I don't understand.

When I was a drug addict, I didn't really have much to lose.

Ever.

So it didn't matter as much.

 

He has a good job, a wife, the most radical kid in the universe, bands calling him all the time wanting him to play with them, a sweet car.

What would appear to be a great life.

He wants to sabotauge himself.

Create his own problems.

 

The thing is, the ten years I wasted, he would always tell me I was weak.

I could quit if I wanted to.

All that.

And now here he is.

We did an intervention about four months ago.

And he is already in need of another one.

 

He ate too many xanax last night.

Coupled with 40s.

Because he wanted to sleep.

Cocaine kept him up the night before.

Then he didn't sleep.

He blacked out.

And shit everywhere.

And walked around the house sans clothing.

 

They said it reminded them of me.

Not the shitty part.

The being so incoherent that you don't notice you are nude.

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you should beat the shit out of him when hes wasted and incoherent, then leave in some fucked up place, naked. while hes still out of it, tell his missus to go missing for a few weeks with the kid.

hopefully when he sobers up he'll realise he could potentially loose everything that hes taking for granted....

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sometimes it doesn't matter how good you have it... i don't know how to explain it because i've been on both sides of the fence. it's fun to hop fences every now and then, but eventually you'll land funny, break your ankle and be stuck on the wrong side.

 

 

i've watched a friend and amazing writer ruin himself with heroin and crack cocaine, clean up, start doing heroin again, and so on... it gets old i guess. once you find the key that shuts out the world and numbs you from reality, it's hard to put the key down. i dunno... i'm not doing the shit i used to, although i'm not perfect... i still get my hands dirty every so often...

 

 

so, bloodfarts... i feel you with your brother situation. the best thing you can do for him is let him hit rock bottom. as fucked up as it sounds, thats the only thing that works. once you have nowhere to go, you're homeless, in jail, etc... reality starts punching you harder.

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My brother went to rehab this morning.

The same one I went to.

At least a dozen times.

Hopefully it will work for him.

 

I got home from work and decided to stay in and drink my troubles away.

Before I even started drinking, tears were flowing.

And things got thrown.

I calmed down.

And got started on the Sparks.

I can't say if the night got any better.

But from what I recall, it was a minimal amount of fun.

Still.

It was beter than being sober.

 

I don't live in the DFW area.

That place is a bust.

I was thinking about being a drug counselor once.

Things happened and I changed my mind.

I think it was mainly because I realized I hate junkies.

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