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prawn laksa


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sobriety made me realise how boring life is without beer.

my coversational skills were non existant and i couldnt play pool at all.

it was my brother in-laws birthday yesterday and that was reason enough to hit the pub with a vengance last night. its good to be back.....

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My brother decided that at age 30, he was going to start being a drug addict.

And mess up his life.


He doesn't want to listen to me.


My family asks me what we should do about it.

I guess I am the authority on these types of things.

I tell them what to do.

Hopefully it will work.


It's stressful.

Dealing with things like this.


I am going home to get drunk.

And listen to Black Flag.

And watch The Warriors.

And try not to throw things off my balcony.

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That's what I don't understand.

When I was a drug addict, I didn't really have much to lose.


So it didn't matter as much.


He has a good job, a wife, the most radical kid in the universe, bands calling him all the time wanting him to play with them, a sweet car.

What would appear to be a great life.

He wants to sabotauge himself.

Create his own problems.


The thing is, the ten years I wasted, he would always tell me I was weak.

I could quit if I wanted to.

All that.

And now here he is.

We did an intervention about four months ago.

And he is already in need of another one.


He ate too many xanax last night.

Coupled with 40s.

Because he wanted to sleep.

Cocaine kept him up the night before.

Then he didn't sleep.

He blacked out.

And shit everywhere.

And walked around the house sans clothing.


They said it reminded them of me.

Not the shitty part.

The being so incoherent that you don't notice you are nude.

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you should beat the shit out of him when hes wasted and incoherent, then leave in some fucked up place, naked. while hes still out of it, tell his missus to go missing for a few weeks with the kid.

hopefully when he sobers up he'll realise he could potentially loose everything that hes taking for granted....

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10 weeks on the wagon?


jesus that's good i always feel good if I did a few days or a week (not that I drink much but to sustain it over 10 weeks is pretty sweet.)

I'd kind of feel hesitant to start again after that long.

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Ive been eating my way through a pretty massive bag of vics and drinking every night. but I really feel like I'm fucking dying today. really miserable rock bottom type shit. im drinking lemonaide, what should I eat for dinner

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sometimes it doesn't matter how good you have it... i don't know how to explain it because i've been on both sides of the fence. it's fun to hop fences every now and then, but eventually you'll land funny, break your ankle and be stuck on the wrong side.



i've watched a friend and amazing writer ruin himself with heroin and crack cocaine, clean up, start doing heroin again, and so on... it gets old i guess. once you find the key that shuts out the world and numbs you from reality, it's hard to put the key down. i dunno... i'm not doing the shit i used to, although i'm not perfect... i still get my hands dirty every so often...



so, bloodfarts... i feel you with your brother situation. the best thing you can do for him is let him hit rock bottom. as fucked up as it sounds, thats the only thing that works. once you have nowhere to go, you're homeless, in jail, etc... reality starts punching you harder.

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^^^The internet Captain Save-A-Hoe just showed up. We should take this very seriously right now.




What the fuck is 'captain save a hoe' ?

On second thoughts, I don't even care. Stop trying to be funny, its not working out for you.

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