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Weapon X

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Re: Back Pains

 

Hey Sneaks I know youre teasin but i still feel compelled to tell folks about this. Back pain starts from doing the most immasculine bullshit in the world. At work I went from processing trucks in the backroom to assistant manager in three months. All the while moving hundred pound boxes I never had problems. It felt good actually. Its when Im on a register putting shit in bags is where back pain starts. Man was not designed to be ass up bending over to scan bar codes.

 

Id rather be making half of what I am making now at my old shit swim coach job swimming nine hours straight in 70 degree water treading with children under my arms because their parents are in denial of how competent of swimmers their children are.

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I had a pilonidal cyst once when I was like 21. That was the worst shit ever. Theres this place on your middle back, right at the top of your ass crack that can fill up with oils and become infected. It forms a very hard round cyst and hurts like you would never believe. Has to be removed via scalpel and when I had mine done even though it was numbed with local anesthesia, I could feel the motherfucking scalpel scraping my tailbone. The cool thing about them though is that the area they form contains your DNA, and in some cases the cysts have been found to contain tiny teeth and fingernails and shit, which are like the person's exact clones.

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