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graffiti addiction


acephale

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i say if you write you write if you dont you dont why do you need a reason.

 

My court counsler ask me why and i said i dont know. Then she replied unless you figure out why you can never stop so i choose not to know why i do it for that reason. I dont know why maybe because i have that disorder hypergraphia or maybe because this is the only thing i even have an ounce of skill in or just because im not happy just being who i regularly am but none of that matters.

 

I think one day i will figure out why but till then who gives a fuck ill just bomb even after i get arrested again and have to do time.

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graffiti as an addiction is nothing new. i remember my dad saying some shit about a 20/20 or dateline story about graffiti addiction. as a master's student in psychology, ive learned a lot about addiction and an addiction to graffiti is entirely plausible. people get addicted to eating, how hard would it be to get addicted to an activity that involves an adrenaline rush and artistic expression?

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Any real writer knows its an addiction. Im Addicted. If i dont go bombing i start to feel as if im failing. Its a game that can never be won, your never going to be there for ever. someone will take your place. Writers like JA, OKER, TRANE. These are real hardcore bombers. And will never be forgotten because they went further than anyone else. But at what cost? Im pretty sure they have all been to jail, been beat up, and worse but they still keep going. Do you think they feel they have done enogh? i dont think so. Instead of looking forward to the rest of my life and having a family. Im thinking of how i can get up and destroy Citys like these guys and many more real bombers. These people are my Idols.

 

Recently i havent been active. I said to myself im going to go out every night im free. But i havent ive been to lazy smoking weed and chilling. Ive been starting to think of the jail time and all the consequences.

 

But deep down i know that this has only been a small blip. And that by next weekend i will be back hitting it harder.

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does anyone find themselves writing invisible tags or letters with their fingers? like even when there isn't dust or fog to wipe away. just looking like an idiot with some mental disorder, writing to himself invisibly thinking his finger is a pen. i know i cant be the only one. even when my brain is busy working on something else, i'm still structuring letters in the back of my head...

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id die without graffiti. it takes away my pain and sadness. ive hated cops all my life and graffiti gave me a tool to fuel it. (yes i am one of those people who will write a paragraph on the wall bout how much i hate cops and how they take graffiti more seriously than killings) cops took both my brothers. and i hate them for it. this doesnt mean i dont disregard the art. the art is how i show emotion.

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does anyone find themselves writing invisible tags or letters with their fingers? like even when there isn't dust or fog to wipe away. just looking like an idiot with some mental disorder, writing to himself invisibly thinking his finger is a pen. i know i cant be the only one. even when my brain is busy working on something else, i'm still structuring letters in the back of my head...
i do the saaaame thing. grafs a lifestyle u have to live it 24/7, 365.
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to me its more of an OCD thing, Ive gotten myself in the habbit of keeping atleast 2 mops on me and catching tags where ever I go. Infact I have some friends(practically family) who dont paint who can assure you its an OCD thing with me, even if I dont realise it I always end up with some paper and a pen in my hand drawling up something or just doing tags over and over and over. one friend of mine actually yells at me whenever he notices me doing this, something like this, "GOD DAYM man stop fucking drawling, your always fucking drawling!"

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for real. when i start scrawling on a piece of paper it ends up being completely covered up in ink because i keep writing til the page turns black. even the girl who is extremely ADD, with a healthy taste for ritalin, who sits next to me in my french class freaks out when i dont stop. haha, and i was never really a hyperactive kid. sometimes thinking about letters keeps me up at night. graff has fucking ETCHED itself into my brain, no lie.

 

wow this is corny as hell and extremely nerdy. but fuck it. sure as hell doesn't bother me. live free.

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