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After School Special

Bees, fire, and explosions.

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I am visiting my family in Florida for the holidays. I was chillin at my sister's house when we looked out back and noticed a swarm of honeybees congregating on their swingset. There are a lot of kids around, including my sister's 3 kids. They were inside at the time, fortunately.

 

 

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Fuckin Bees!

 

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A few minutes later they had calmed down. We were guessing they were disturbed from their hive and decided to come here, or something.

 

 

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This is where the bees were coming from. A hole in the house behind my sister's place. We told the landlady about it and she didn't seem to care or want to be bothered that she was renting a house to people that had fucking BEEES living inside it.

 

The neighbor called a bee removal company and they said they wouldn't come out unless we paid a hefty fee, but he did recommend waiting until dark and go buy some stuff from Home Depot and squirt them with it and that should kill them off.

 

Well that plan was OK except for 2 things. 1 was that my sister's husband is crazy. The 2nd thing is we didn't want to wait that long nor spend any money.

 

So we did the next best thing. Started fucking with the bees.

 

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My bro in law chucks a tennis ball at the clump of bees, that was the size of a basketball. He knocked off a fist sized clump of bees, which eventually just flew back up into the main clump.

 

That was pretty boring, so we decide to try something a little bigger....

 

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Yeah, a 40lb trailer hitch for a Dodge Caravan.

 

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INCOMING!

 

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CLANG! We have bees in freefall! Did I mention he is severely allergic to bees?

 

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Pile O Bees

 

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The bees dust themselves off, and resume taking over the swingset. Every single one pretty much flew back up into a ball of bee death.

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At this point it was clear these little assholes weren't getting the message. Their arrival in my sister's property was an act of agression, and we weren't going to stand for it. So it was time for some redneck engineering:

 

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Bee incinerator contraption:

- 30 feet of rope

- 1 large fire pit

- 1 science project board

- miscellaneous rags and a bedsheet

- gas

 

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Fill 'er up! Slide the incinerator under the bees and....

 

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IGNITION!

 

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OH THE BEEMANITY

 

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CARNAGE!

 

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Amazingly some bees still survived the first wave. What should we do next?

 

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The next ingredient is 1.5 quarts of PAINT THINNER

 

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OH YES!!!!

 

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12/23 NEVER FORGET

 

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THERE WERE STILL MORE BEES ON THE SWINGSET. CALL IN REINFORCEMENTS. 2 QUARTS OF 87 OCTANE GASOLINE REPORTING FOR DUTY SIR!

 

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OH DEAR LORD ITS SO BEAUTIFUL. I AM SO PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN RIGHT NOW.

 

 

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Tonight we are having Roast Bee

 

 

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The Aftermath.

 

 

Number of allied casualties (er, stings): 0

Number of bees killed: est. 10,000

Number of bee survivors: about 25 or so

 

 

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When I close my eyes, I see fire...and bees.

 

 

 

This was taken from http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2243176, but I figured it would be lost if I just reposted a link.

 

Photobucket resized the pictures, and I am NOT doing this post a 3rd time, click the link for bigger pictures.

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that is awesome. im not allergic to bees so i just ran up with a can of axe and a lighter. i burnt a shitload of those fuckers and it smelled good too. everything was going lovely until a rogue bee stung me between my eyes. my whole face swelled up man. shit was funny.

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WOW! I need to get a good camera so I can document this kinda stuff! That was awesome!

 

I fucked with bees once they turned out to be white headed wasps. Huge started throwin water balloons at the nest and then got a pole with a street sign on the end and chopped the nest down. The shit hit the ground chased me and my friend out of the back yard I got to the middle of the street and me and my ghetto ass baggy boss jeans fell down in the middle of the street I got stung like 3 times...Sucked bee's are now unfuckwitable in my book...

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That story was amesome. I wish i documented my campaign against the fire ants in 97'. We had the usual.Fire crackers,bottle rockers,m80s. A few days of unsuccesful attacks we decided we would end it once and for all. We struck just at dusk. Came in with our back to the sun. We placed a quarter stick in the pile lit and took cover. Seconds later it was daylight for a split second. The ant hill was a crater a foot deep. But the little fuckers put up a last stand suicide attack. From out of nowhere ants began raining down on us. We were covered by we were all victorious again.

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my pop is drawn to bee's nest's

 

 

Last summer durring that heat wave we were working on this massive house when he notices a bees nest in the front garden on the curb...he drove his truck on to the nest and did a burn out. We laughed, then it turned ugly when the bees flew in the truck from an open vent and he was stung.......we were laughing so hard him that I almost shit myself. Even the dumb guy that works for us was like "i dont fink dats very smart"

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