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Dear terrestrial fitba'...


fuckin' yaldy!



dear every cunt and their doag...


i fuckin' knew it was only a matter of time...


for the record this is a parody account...


that's my story and i'm sticking to it...


also i only have sex with big booty weemin and the occasional sheep...


thank you very much, and i'll see you all in aboot ten to fifteen years time...


Rolf nae paedo Haggis...


note the surname is Haggis...



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Dear Decy,


Thank you. Right back atcha. Also this has been a dope weekend.


<3 TDB



Dear New Place,


I love you. Those skylights are fuckin dope. I am ging to put cool beautiful things in you and you will be the scene of a brand new life and the happy, healthy TDB. Stellar.


<3 TDB



Dear TDB,


Look back to three months ago. Now look forwards, at Thursday.


See how fucking far you've come? Pat yourself on the back just a little and remember what your best people have said. They're proud and you should be too.


Keep going,



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[bumper emotional round]


Dear London,


I'll miss you. I can't live with you but that doesn't mean I don't love you. I'm looking forward to rediscovering you in the way that makes me happy.


<3 TDB



Dear 445,


Live the life, can relate. Thank you.


<3 TDB



Dear Decy,


You know x 10000. You know.


<3 TDB



Dear K, A, E, C, T and S,


You ladies make my heart sing. You have made me see what it is like to have girlfriends I can trust, who have my back but won't take shit from me. Thank you. I'm gonna miss you SO much. Look after London for me.


<3 TDB



Dear Oontz,


I'm glad I met you :) warts n all


<3 TDB

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smdoublebubble, I like that. And tanks for checking in on me and my old man ailments.


Welcome back Cali!


Dear world,


stop judging me because i'm not working. there's more to life. Eventually I'm sure I'll get some random shitty job and then you will all get on my case for not having a "real job" I'm doing me. DEAL WITH IT.

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dear symbols...


aiight... i'll keep loosing money that i don't have in the first place...


i just wondered because my girlfriend went mental at me because i was shoutin' like fuck at the telly for the wee boy to use his stick to batter the horse. but they're nowhere near as brutal as they used to be.


Dear upstair and doonstairs neighbours...


If yir gonna hae a perty, then by all means hae a fuckin' perty!


but dinna be haein' a perty on a fuckin' school night iye? fir fucks sake...


I really dinna want to hear techno any time o' day, least of all at 2 in the fuckin' moarnin'!


squad o belters...



dear live boxing stream...


please work... please... am i fuck paying $75 for this fight that'll probably be pish anywiy...


i'm more concerned aboot the under-cairds





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