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Dear ________,

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Dear Best Buy Job,

 

Even though you are a job, which means money in my pocket, I hate you. I've only been working here for about 2 weeks and I despise every morning that I have to wake up and go to you. The sight of a Best Buy makes me nauseous now. If it were not for aforementioned money, and the pretty chill ass people that work there, I would quit already. Swear.

 

Sincerely,

Disgruntled RR

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dear IR,

thank you kindly

and i respect that.

<3 ssn

 

dear me,

no more running after 4pm.

stupid daylight savings.

shitty day go to bed early.

<3 ssn

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dear multitailed hypothesis testing simulations and linear regression,

 

i did you until 4am and just figured out theres nothing due

this is so cruel it's funny.

 

-INJured sleep patterns

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dear new boss

 

you are not even close to the same as the old boss, and for that i thank you

 

love,

!@#$%

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dear !@#$%,

congrats on your new j.o.b.

<3 ssn

 

dear davin,

fuck it took you long enough to

txt me. it's been months!

<3 ssn

 

dear self,

let yourself enjoy life...

<3 ssn

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dear sooooktastic...

 

a pug bit me today. wee shite...

 

 

dear revenue and customs...

 

cheers very much for yon tax rebate o' £120 at this difficult time o' year. that'll dae fuckin' nicely for the car M.O.T and tax before new year...

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ssn,

 

thanks babe!

come to the east coast. if you make it to some city over this way i will come see ya.

enjoy yo self!

 

<3

!@#$%

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dear sooki sooki noo

 

nah it's just a wee shame on the poor doag. he's no had the greatest o starts. one o the pervious owners had him as a show dog, kept him in a cage and used to belt the poor wee cunt when he wouldn't keep his tail up or behave...

 

i get the impression he's scared. i had a length o' wood. so i'm presuming he's shit scared o' sticks, therefore he thought it'd be a great idea to take a chunk oot the back o' my leg...

 

how is your bonny self anyhoo?!?

 

 

 

 

 

dear brass balls barry baltic winter...

 

your only advantage is that you keep my tinnys cold oot in the back garden

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dear rolf,

this hen is doing might fine.

you need to kidnap that pug and raise it as your own.

thanks for your pm. always makes me laugh.

<3 ssn

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dear student..

 

i can hear that you love deadmaus. you're also sitting 10 feet away.

fuck you very much, die with a shake weight far in your raw, bleeding asshole.

 

love,

INJ.

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dear scrawny asian guy at the gym,

 

thanks for tying up both squat racks.

im sure your weak little muscles need it more than i do.

 

cG

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dear massgraff...

 

your special text brightens up my day, as i have forgot what the sky looks like, but noo i kinda remember.

 

dear raaaaaaaaaaaaahsbelly cali...

 

i bet that boy was a fuckin' headcase ninja just waitin' to see if a mother fucker would...

 

 

 

i was also at the gym tonight. i weighed myself for the first time in 5 months to find i now weigh 14 stone... last time i was under 11

 

i think two of that is my liver... an the other 1 is most certainly muscle...

 

 

i'm sure i cheered the gym up by lettin' oot fuckin' healthy rippers o' farts everytime i was on the bench press though...

 

 

your boyo aboot blew a fuckin' hole in the seat!

 

 

 

 

goodnight oontz!!

 

 

rolf haggis is off to his private room on the big steamin' boat!!

 

 

fuckin' toot toot ya bams!

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dear rolf,

 

he was definitely a ninja.

or an asian gang member.

because im a big guy, he saw me waiting to use the squat rack and didnt even flinch.

 

cG

 

p.s. you really fart while benching?

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Dear Paycheck,

 

AW MAN I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU AT ALL. THESE CAPS ARE NOT EVEN EXPRESSING MY EXCITEMENT. I'LL DO A DANCE ONCE I CASH YOU I SWEAR.

 

RR

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