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Dear ________,


suca

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dear xmas 2010

 

holey shit that turned out pretty damn awesome.

not as awesome as it could have been but hey, i was so nervous and paranoid.

really, just super happy i did it instead of waiting for it to be over.

tick another one off the list.

 

plus, the gift giving and receiving was fucking great

i didn't know i wanted a kindle, but it looks awesome

and i knew i wanted a drafting table, and that thing rocks.

 

on top of all of it, my boss told me not to come in yesterday, she's not here today and i'm off friday.

 

Me

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Dear Post Office,

 

You say you'll deliver during rain, sleet, or snow --SO WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MAIL?

 

I want my netflix!

 

--Earl

 

 

dear earl,

 

i feel your pain.

the post office sucks.

i sent a package to mudpuddles and one to medicine cabinet exactly 19 days ago, and they still havent received them.

 

cG

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dear seyer,

 

i keeps my game tight!

 

cG

 

dear milk,

 

snowball action? eeeeeew.

 

cG

 

dear sm,

 

i racked hoe money.

 

cG

 

dear souls,

 

i feel your pain...im so over winter.

walked out of the store tonight and was umad at the cold.

 

cG

 

dear ssn,

 

where are you?!

 

cG

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Dear suegra,

 

I miss you.

You've been on my mind lately and it's been getting me down. I'm planning to visit you today. There's things I want to say to you.

My mom had a dream about you the other day that you were still here alive and well, having a conversation about praying.. Don't know what that means.

I'll see you soon though.

 

yiyo

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dear oontz!

 

happy mahogany! i mean hogmany...

and happy 2011 whenever the fuck it comes round to all your lovely more exotic parts o' the world...

 

dear DJ Hardman...

 

please be ready when i pick you up...

i know you have a terrible of being fashionably late... but dinna fuckin' bather wi that pish the night eh?

 

it's hogmany an i'm fuckin' chokin' fir a bevvy...

 

 

Rolf happy new year Haggis

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dear firends i now longer have,

fuck you very deadly. last time u flake...

 

 

souls

 

Dear smashable angry drunk friend

 

 

REALLY U FUCKED UP MONDAY AND NOW ITS 15 AFTER AND U WANT ME TO GET U CUZ U WORRIED.... NO WE CAN NOT SNUGGLE TONIGHT.. U ALREADY PISSED ME OFF TONIGHT AS WELL....\

 

 

 

 

FUCKS U love SOULS

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dear Aldo...

 

R.I.P my man... what a fuckin' time o' year to go...

 

i knew you had the bengal lancer... but from what i heard it was under control. you'll be missed. the thieving skills you learnt fae your father were something else...

 

 

 

dear life...

 

i know death comes in threes. but please, no more... thanks

 

rolf

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dear sey sey sey...

i hope santa was good to our lovely self...

 

dear uncle...

 

i appreciate your business mind...

and the fact you made a fuckin' healthy amount oot o' fash and fried tatties... plus them ten flats you no longer own...

 

 

i'm also glad you think i hae a similar mind set... however, i'll be sure not to make the same mistakes you did...

like getting married to a fuckin' fruit loop o' a lassie from another continent with a completely different mind set to this culture, you're seriously fuckin' away wi' the fairies if you still think she's no shaggin' all sorts... why'd you think your brother punched you square in the fuckin' coupon for being wide as fuck?!?!?

 

c'mon son...

 

ultimately i think your downfall from being a fuckin' millionaire...

was probably having so many kids and such a fucked up relationship with your wife...

 

they're clearly not as fuckin' daft as their dad... as much as you'd like to think so...

 

you moan aboot haein' nae grandchildren... but honestly... you've set a fuckin' pish poor example... how the fuck will they ever respect or trust any fuckin lassie they meet, when they dunno what the fuck their mother's up to at the wee oors o' the fuckin' mornin'...

 

 

you're kiddin' yirsel' on chief... wakin the fuck up ya prick...

 

rolf haggis...

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