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Dear ________,


suca

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dear text messages,

 

where were you all my life? and why do so many people not like you all that much?

personally, for succinct communication, you cannot be beat, except maybe for email, which is also awesome

ok well, i'm not hyped on texting abbreviations like C U L8R but no thing is perfect!

 

P.s.

txt, i'll never cheat on you with AIM.

 

 

<3 you txt

!@#$%

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Dear phone conversation haters,

 

I'm with you on that. I can't keep a phone conversation

going for my life. I rather talk in person, just because I always

find something better to say and can constantly talk when face to face.

I rather text back and forth like you don't even know. Instant messages are

fine, but it ends up being like a phone conversation to me too.

I agree with gasface, getting actual mail is pretty enjable, just cause you

dont have to respond so quickly.

 

chilloutson,

seyseyer

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dear tea tree and mint shower gel...

 

plase stay the fuck off my toby. i don't rub any of you on my willy. or anywhere near it for that matter. yet somehow i always step oot on the mat feeling like i've rubbed my bah (ball) sack in wasabi stading naked at the tip o' a whoorin' mountian in a force ten fuckin' gale.

 

dear tinnys...

 

i'll be taking four of your friends away from you on the shelf very soon...

 

 

rolf sare sack harris

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Dear RUNINE,

I feel your pain. I suck at algebra so bad I had to drop my last class.

-seysey

 

Dear Rooolf Hoggos,

Tea tree oil body wash feels goooood

-seyseysey

 

Dear person,

If you can't handle what I just said about how I felt,

then you can fuck off already. People like you

are the reason why I don't trust anyone.

fml

-seyseysey

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Queridos Perros,

 

Mi super comando trozo

al del gobierno

el enfrentamiento

parecia el infierno

jamas pense yo

perder esa batalla

ni modo la pierdo

poes ya me tocaba

a culiacan ya no

regrese con vida

lo que empieza recio

recio se termina

 

conciente en mis hechos

yo no culpo a nadie

si me traicionaron va

a veer mucha sangre

entre averiguatas

si no se termina

pagaran mui caro

en docenas mi vida

Mini 6 mi apodo

MEZA mi apellido

de TORRES y LLANOS

mi nombre es RAULILLO

 

el 6 enrredado en

alto con valientes

de Culiacan no se

aleje de corrientes

los que van brotando

pronto se termina

que vuelen cabezas

no merecen vida

yo no fui corriente fui

gente de gente

amigos de amigos me

porte decenteee...

 

 

BTB

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Dear Gangsters,

If it's any motivation at all, you have a much higher chance outrunning the cops if you pull up your pants.

Sincerely, Hopeful.

 

Dear textbook publishers,

Come on, not even GOOD books cost that much...

Sincerely, broke college student.

 

Dear grammar,

Please come back. We miss you.

Sincerely, the literate people of the internet.

 

Dear Firefox,

You just gave me a pop-up telling me that you prevented a pop-up from opening.

Sincerely, The Irony Police.

 

Dear Humans,

I am so hungry, I could eat you.

Sincerely, A Horse.

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dear cali

 

hahaha!! the mother fuckin' beano's made in my city!!

 

my city's actually famous for teh beano, dandy, desperate dan. oor willie...

 

all that good shit you know...

 

instead of those steroid ridden boys you read aboot as a kid...

 

the hulk etc... instead we had drunk old men who varnished themselves into corners when trying to spruce up the floorboards, or stickin' the toilet seat doon with chewing gum...

 

 

 

aaaah the simple times...

 

 

 

 

 

dear oontz...

 

i dunno what thanksgiving is apart from eating a turk.

 

but have a good one anyhoo.

 

i celebrated by gettin' affy drunk in the local, therfore i am happy for readily available booze on this fine day...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

dear future ex wife...

 

i'm sorry for being an arsehole, but i've had plenty things on the past wee while. i know i choose drink over you on a lot of occasions. but i've been told by all your friends i'm really good to you, i take care of you, and spoil you fuckin' rotten, but you live a fair trek away. you're no exactly roond the corner...

plus you left me for 3 months in the summer last year. when we'd only been goin' oot offically for one month...

i still behaved, and trusted you to do the same...

 

i know fine well i can be an arsehole but i'll make it up to you tomorrow...

 

rolf haggis

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dear artic weather...

 

cheers for the day off. but if i don't work i don't get paid... so you can go fuckin' mental for today. but can you chill oot and fuck off within' the next day of two.

 

 

dear wee brother...

 

i didn't drop a ton on a pair of winterised jordans for you to wear to fuckin' school...

 

how the fuck am i gonna get to the pub without fuckin' up another pair o trainers ya wee prick...?

 

 

dear seyseysey

 

i beg to differ... i'd be aswell dippin' my unmentionables in this said snow we're having here...

 

roooolf hoggus

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