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Dear ________,


suca

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Cali,

 

don't underestimate determined ladies.

 

:shook:

 

this is a smart woman!

 

dear symbols,

 

oh wow....seriously?!?!?

looking back on it, i shouldve went into professional sports!

 

cG

 

 

Cali,

as if you dont get laid enough?

or is there no such thing as enough?

 

 

Dear Truck who thought it'd be funny to speed up as my kid & I

were crossing the street.

I know you were just trying to intimidate us cuz it was fun to

watch us pick up the pace to get across the street before

you hit us,

but

a-you're a dumbass because no one needs a truck that size in Las Vegas

and during these times, you're a bigger dumbass because I know you

spend like $90 to fill your tank.

b-can't wait til the morning rolls around, and you are trying to figure

out how to get to work(to fill your tank) when you're sitting on 4 flats.

you cant hide it in the garage either, because it is too big!

 

I am also willing to put my right arm on the fact those big ass tires cost

a pretty penny to repair.

 

Who's laughing now ?

 

SlashingMood

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Dear New England,

 

its VERY fuckin nice outside, little wet, but nice. enjoy it.

 

 

 

Dear friend's, girlfriend's roomate.. aka. Venezuelian girl.

 

you're incredible.. smart, funny, witty, slick, sly, shy and all that good shit...beautiful, and even more beautiful when you smile, and have a rather nice ass haha. always showed me the Fresh Prince theme song in spanish, certifying your nerdness, word.

 

you also told me that where your from in Venezuela, is in the hills and is 70 degrees year round... i think i want to marry you and retire to Venezuela and have so many children we'll start our own army to defend against the gangs and cartels.

 

-B.

 

PPS:

 

Dear Suki,

 

remember our AIM chat a while back? and you called me a "hooligan" for trying to break up this chick and her boyfriend cause he was a free loading bum ass that didnt deserve such a fine woman haha... ya.. found out she broke up with that dude and moved to Minnesota with some other dude shortly after.

 

that coulda been me! .. that coulda been me...

 

-BNIbeslacking.

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dear suki,

 

i got a memory of an elephant, and was thinking of that girl earlier and figured id see if you rememebred that ha. havent been on aim in a very long time, it was actually probably that last time i talked to you. alls well with me hop its the same for you. thatd be awesome if you made it out here, ever been out this way?

 

dear boat,

 

ya NE weathers crazy, was it last year or the year before that we had like 4 days of 70 degrees in January? that was cool.

 

dear injury,

 

i intend on finding out more about this favela, i will let you know.

 

 

 

 

-yo.

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dear everyone

my zipper keeps going down on my pants.. i dont understand it, im not going to the bathroom and forgetting to pull the thing up, but im walking around and swoosh cold air intake.

please send me your best wishes before my dick pops out.

thank you

-huey lewy and clark griswaldo

 

ps N-E weather is fucked. i want snow already sorry to all who dislike the white

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dear cali and L&G...

 

you cunts need to stop moanin' aboot zips...

 

for real...

 

i'd love to meet the fuckin' arsewipe that invented the "button fly" and seriously knock seven bells oot that prick...

 

i'd leave that fuckin' arsehole lookin' like his mother fed him with a slingshot as a child...

 

no lie...

 

be gratefull your knob's nearly oot when it comes to pishy potty time...

 

instead of behind what seems to become a fuckin' full proof safe for any cunt that's had more than two beers...

 

takin' yir fuckin' bell end oot for a cry should never be a fuckin' effort, if i need to pish, you had better hope to fuckin' cheesus christ you're no standin' in front o' me without an empty cup... coz you'll be gettin' it right doon the back o' the leg...

 

swear doon!

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Dear Rolf and CALIgula. 11/18/2010

 

thank you for the support, your information came in a wee bit to late. as Rolf had stated I had no trouble pishy potty-ing anytime of the day, it was very helpful but later in the day while strolling the local grocery store for nice melons, my piece broke loose and slapped an elderly lady in the face.

i have since burned the jeans and now wear only sweat pants.

-258_LEWIS_BLACK_angry1.jpg & Clark%20Gable%20Portrait.jpg

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dear l&c...

 

i'm very sorry you borderline raped an old dear whilst shopping for boobs...

i'll buy you a pint...

 

dear caliG...

 

from now on when i see a female with a rather fine rear end i'll do that rich boy face and say "that erse!"

 

 

dear seyseysey...

 

this weather isn't shit... it's awful... just bloody awful

 

i'm sure this weather's why we have such a high sucide rate in this country... and i live in the sunniest part. but it's still dark as fuck all day... tis pish

 

 

dear pub... i know i said i wouldn't see you at all this week, but i've had a whoore o' a week so i'm gonna pay you a visit. even though you are a prick...

 

 

dear oontz... expect more drunken rants later...

 

rolf haaaah haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah haggis....

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dear fuckin' screwball female named susie in the battle cruiser...

 

you have a better facial hair than most of my friends and you make the film one flew over the cukoos nest look like a disney cartoon...

 

dear raaaaaasberry calais... my current fututre ex wife has plenty erse... and from what i can tell we have similar taste in weemin' (females) with a bit o' meat on them...

 

you should hazzard a holiday to the UK... pretty much every cunt here is moderately proportioned/ fat as fuck....

 

i hope you appreciate this, as my fingerz (fingers) are ah oor the fuckin' shop (all over the place) this message has takin' a steam boat 15 minutes to type...

 

 

dear cunt who pays my wages/mother...

 

if you don't give me at least £200 this week... i'm gonna punch you in the mouth

 

 

rolf wiggum harris...

 

goodnight....

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