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Dear ________,


suca

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear video editing,

I have been working on you since yesterday. I've been up all night watching

you render so nothing like last time happens. 10 hours motherfucker.

10 hours.

 

You aren't even done. Damn you. I still have stuff to clip and some filters to run.

Fuck.

 

Sincerely,

A walking dead guy.

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear Subway,

 

We've been doing your $5 foot longs for lunch all week. We're cool with that, but what the fuck is up with your onions? They are way too fucking potent. My mouth tastes like I've been licking some homeless broad's snatch! I mean your shit isn't exactly the freshest, and I'm cool with that. It doesn't even taste horrible (w/o onions), but when I say "just a little onions" and every bite tastes like a raw onion, I get mad. You don't want to see me when I'm mad. I'm not kidding, I'll get on the bus to Jared's house and scalp that once was fat fucker.

 

I'm not kidding. Tone that shit down! Talk to your onion vendor. Tell him his shit taste like rotten pussy.

 

Fuck you,

Earl

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear Dose,

 

Yes, and that place fucking sucks! Overpriced and shitty fucking quality. Then again, I only tried one and it was this hood rat run operation in midtown. I got one sandwich there, it cost me an arm, a leg, and and elbow. After I was done I ended up on the toilet in excruciating pain.

 

Fuck Quiznos,

Earl

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear Pops,

Please dont talk shit about my shopping obsessions. Less is never more. More is always more. People always go all ape shit for twins,litters of puppies/kittens, octo moms, so if you could refrain from the eye rolling and just understand why a set of Burberry luggage is better than one piece, i'd appreciate it.

That is all.

(who cares if i wont be able to eat or pay gas for a month and a half. it was a steal!)

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear Subway,

 

We've been doing your $5 foot longs for lunch all week. We're cool with that, but what the fuck is up with your onions? They are way too fucking potent. My mouth tastes like I've been licking some homeless broad's snatch! I mean your shit isn't exactly the freshest, and I'm cool with that. It doesn't even taste horrible (w/o onions), but when I say "just a little onions" and every bite tastes like a raw onion, I get mad. You don't want to see me when I'm mad. I'm not kidding, I'll get on the bus to Jared's house and scalp that once was fat fucker.

 

I'm not kidding. Tone that shit down! Talk to your onion vendor. Tell him his shit taste like rotten pussy.

 

Fuck you,

Earl

dear Earl,

do they have vietnamese bakeries in New york?

hit them up for a tasty pork roll!

vietnamese-pork-roll.jpg

oh geezums (yep I said Geezums) they are tasty

three types pork kind of in a meatloaf style, cilantro, lettuce, grated carrot,onions,tomato, soy sauce chilli, and pate..

usually in Aust they are between $3.00 and $4.50 and they are so worth it!

 

fuck I know what I'm having for lunch

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

dear upper management,

 

please stop telling me to work harder as it is year end and then

make my priority project a VA spreadsheet. three days this week!!

and i was sick on moday!! they aren't going to pay us. plus your

stupid system manipualtes the numbers so my fucking hospital

is not really expecting that much money!!! leave me alone and

let me do my job, collecting fucking money from

goddamn insurance companies. somebody's got to make the

mutherfuckers pay. but no. you have me putting info from one

spread sheet to another so some fuckers that get paid 4x what i do

can talk about it n a fucking meeting. but no you cannot go to the

management meeting for the hospital you are responsible for

maintaining because only important people can go, and why the

fuck would we want some nobody underling actually telling us what

reimbursement problems exist. fuck you and your awesome fucking

salary. i am smarter than you and you couldn't go my job if you tried.

 

thanks,

 

underachieving smartypants.

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear IOU,

 

You got over fairly big tonight. Thing is not to push your luck so quickly after said get over. Evidence face down on the hood, missed evidence in your pocket.. But then you had to push it a few blocks down.. Straight dumb shit. Damn son.. Remember, obey the simple laws and you avoid getting busted for the big dumb ones. Step your game up dumb ass.. Having a pops with a long rap sheet don't help none either.. Fucking having Jr. on your shit makes a huge difference in how you get sweated.

 

Signed,

Can't believe I'm so dumb at times..

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Re: Dear ________, - no homo

 

Dear sickly asian dude sitting on the other side of the BART train tonight,

 

I knew you were going to be trouble from the moment those doors slid open at Montgomery station. Last train of the night - you, slumped over by yourself at the far end, facing me. What in the fuck was wrong with you? Coughing for like 30 godamn minutes and never once covering your cocksucker of a mouth. You repulsive son of a bitch.

 

Seriously nigga, you looked like you had some type of Tebolaidscholiosis virus and you was just straight content with blowing it all through the fucking car. I kinda wish that nigga next to me would have raised up on you like he was saying at Fruitvale. You foul motherfucker talkin' about going to the airport when the BART cops came on and started questioning you. Spreadin' swine flu all across the land ass nigga. You ain't getting on no plane.

 

We all cheered when they kicked your ass off the train at Castro Valley.

 

Get well soon,

T

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