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Dear ________,

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Dear Rolf,

 

sorry for your loss

 

-grd

 

 

Dear Stephen Malkmus,

 

as much as I adore you in one instance you're wrong. The past can be quarantined. You just have to try REALLY hard.

 

-grdone

 

 

 

Dear Autumn mornings,

 

you're kinda rad

 

-grd

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dear Grd...

 

cheers hen.

 

 

 

dear pretty boys in the 24 oor bakery...

 

it was fuckin' pish funny watchin' 3 o you shite it from 1 boy with his girlfriend... who may i add was holding him back.

 

everytime you told him "i said i was sorraaay!!" a wee butty pish came oot the end o' my toby...

 

i dunno what you said to wind him up but oh yi cunt it must've been good...

 

Rolferooo

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dear rolf,

 

your posts crack me up because i don't know what they mean, but the voice that i read them in is extra funny.

 

thanks,

fist

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dear fist666...

 

you are most welcome... i probably sound pretty much exactly like the voice you read them oot in...

 

 

dear Umma...

 

i'm happy for you in the fact that you have found a job that you enjoy, and i appreciate the stashing of my parcels in my back garden...

 

however, if you fell the need to tell me your postal root from start to finish again, i may well have to cut your tongue off with my hoose keys...

 

it's aboot as entertaining as a fart in a space suit...

 

rolf

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Dear BBOAT,

 

We discussed this almost 3 years ago, what's mine is yours.

You're already set on my will! You get to keep Trigger too if I die lolz

 

-$eyoya0

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dear papa...

 

if you think you're paying me that amount for over two weeks work... then you're pisssin' in the fuckin' wind... i did not run up and doon 8 flights o' fuckin' stairs ever half oor between knockin' my cunt in for your benefit, with that fuckin' shittiy amount of beer money to be handed to me aftwerwards...

 

stick it up your fuckin' arse...

 

from now on. i will be attending every fuckin' joab that you go to price up...

 

stop giving customers work quotes in fuckin' shillings and pence...

 

rolf

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dear SBM,

haven't seen you post in a while. welcome back?

i still have a bunch of laminate and thick plastic rolls (like for stencils) if you want them.

i was supposed to give them to you before deployment like 2 years ago but i got too busy.

 

fist.

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dear chubbs

 

wondering that myself.

ask not for whom the bell tolls oontz

it tolls for thee

 

!@#$%

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Dear body

 

Why are you perfectly happy to drink all day without any food and then the next day be fine, however if I drink then decide to nourish myself it means I'm up at 4am puking my guts up everytime no matter what I eat?

 

Decy

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Dear dears,

 

happy weekend! I'm going to spend my time lunching with my friend who's in town, getting very drunk, having hate sex with strangers and trying to forget.

I hope you all have awesome weekends!

 

-grd

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dear grd,

 

hate sex with strangers!!! jealous.

 

fist

 

 

 

dear unemployment meeting,

 

don't be gay.

 

fist

 

 

dear first national guard drill this weekend,

 

don't be gay. i really don't like putting on the uniform anymore.

 

fist

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dear grd

 

hahaha be safe and have fun

honestly i don't envy that plan :p

 

!@#$%

 

 

 

dear ladies who give a crap

 

i am getting better at sewing, i made a fitted skirt the other day out of non-stretchy material

and i even put in a zipper. feels pretty awesome

i might even extend my 'will not buy clothes' rule into 2012.

 

!@#$%

 

 

 

dear weekend

 

lots of events on a potential agenda

but will i leave the house to do anything except walk dogs and paint?

 

ol lady oner

 

 

 

dear meds

 

thanks for making me forget that pulled muscle in my neck

and dear larry, it wasn't cunnilingus

 

!@#$%

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Dear Miss Symbols and Fist,

 

I was joking about the stranger sex innit. I promise you my bestie would have found it very amusing.

 

/goodgirloner

 

 

Dear Miss Symbols,

 

that's rad!! Did you fit it on a form? Zips are hard too, well done :)

I haven't done any sewing in ages but now Autumn is here and the nights are drawing in i might get the machine out. I quite fancy making the dog some rain coats. Dog coats are either ridiculous or boring so it would be good to get something that suits his personality more.

 

-grd

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grd,

 

it was my first zipper ever and i did it on the first try with no form!

probably means the next 20 i do will be fucked up hahaha

there is a place i found a tutorial on making your own form off a mold you make on your body! so awesome!

i keep wanting to do it but i've lost TEN POUNDS this summer! i can't believe it. i hope i put some weight back on.. then all my new clothes won't fit. haha damn damn damn

 

my man has some old work sweatshirts, i'm going to make them into dog sweatshirts.. they are gettin so hooked up this winter haha

 

!@#$%

 

ps here is the link to the how-to

 

http://jezebel.com/5803791/how-to-make-a-custom-dress-form-part-one

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dear 12oz people .

had a hearing test yesterday.. Seems the reason why I am having trouble hearing in the only ear I can hear out of..is because the ringing is so loud in my deaf side, it drowns out

most sounds. Audiologist suggested these-

 

http://www.phonak.com/us/b2c/en/products/hearing_instruments/cros/overview.html

 

these joints are like $3000.

there is no fucking way i can come out of pocket 3gs.

 

He then gave me a number to a program that helps fund/sponser young deaf working people with most of the cost, if not all of it.

I haven't had hearing in my left side for over a decade.

I'm anxious at seeing what these can do.

 

Dear program,

please come through.

hearing aids are pricey.

 

wantin teh aids,

SoundMatters

 

 

(as promised)

Dear Freinds of the oontz (whom i have been a stranger to, lately)

Instead of coming on here, and crowding the Dear_____thread wih all of the bullshit i have endured this summer, i would rather come on here and share the good news.

 

This program came through and I acquired my hearing aids today

6b10fb51.jpg

 

after just a few hours, my inner ear is a little tender, but I can definitely tell the difference and am able to pick up sounds from my deaf side. im sure it will only get better.

 

I actually told someone 'shhhh' haha

 

Ever so grateful,

Sound Matters.

 

Dear everyone again--hi hello, hope all is well. i try to peek in every now and then, but as mentioned, this summer has been a rough one.

 

Love

lOve

loVe

lovE

V

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dear Smdoublexl....

 

that's amazing news...

 

dear grd...

 

i was gonna buy my girlfrends doag one of those quilted barbour coats for her border terrier...

 

but she said she wasn't gonna put it on him if i bought it... so i didn't bother and told her she could stick it up her arse in that case...

 

rolf

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dear facebook

 

deactivated you again

hopefully this time it'll stick

 

!@#$%

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Dear SM,

 

that's AWESOME!!

 

-grd

 

 

 

Dear Rolferino,

 

send it over kid, Alfie is open to looking daft as lonf as he's warm and dry

 

-grdinnit

 

 

Dear dears,

 

I got drenched, it's hammering down and I have the hiccups BUT there was rugby and food and old friends and drinks...many many drinks. I had a super rad day/night/morning. I think I drunk myself a little sober so I should probably keep drinking innit

 

-happy me

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Dear Sandman,

 

Could you please bring me one of those dreams I've been hearing so much about. It would be greatly appreciated.

 

All the best,

Syte

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