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Dear Hired Labour Team,

 

If you motherfuckers don't get here soon, I'll be happy to start some visa revoking on your arses. If I start work at 5am on the word that you 'want to start in the cool of the day' - and your arse isn't here even before 6am - protester gets PISSED OFF.

 

Cheers,

Protest

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Dear baby daddy,

 

eat a dick.

 

 

ps.

dont forget the balls.

 

 

dear Kid,

 

you have always pushed me to go above and beyond.

you can do this.

 

 

ps-

your dad is a dick.

 

 

dear anyone who lives in pacifica, Ca,

 

if I give you an address, would you visit it and make someones life miserable?

 

 

 

-doubleX

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Dear workmate...

 

you are a fuckin' bell end... look at yourself...

 

it's like happy hour all day long working with your suicidal self...

 

can you please just admit defeat and shave off what looks like a birds nest on the back of your head... your barber has left a hole in the haircut he gave you...

 

i know you may well be rather jealous of my full head of hair when you have to walk around lookin' like you've worn a lampshade as a hat...

 

plus are you gonna be a fuckin' prick all your life?

 

you need to not get so super excited aboot the horses tae, the only time you're ever happy is when you've lost money... get a life you sad cunt.

 

Rolf

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Dear Rooolf Haoggis,

Hi.

-Ssssseyer

 

Dear B,

We're on and off,you give me hell, I'll hate but love you.

At the end of the day you're the only one I can come back to...

whether we're dating or not. I still got your back, and I'm glad you still got mine.

-Ms. Firstname aka suckaforloveassnigga

 

Dear BBOAT,

Hi. Hang in there, it's almost the weekend before you and your girl can

chase away snakes with cudgels like drunk Steve Irwins aka St. Patricks.

-Seyoyayoms14longasssignoffinthisthreadoner

 

Dear SMXL,

I literally live on right by the border to Pacifica, CA.

Is there some asshole that's distressing you from here?

-$eyer

 

Dear INJ,

Hang in there, we're gonna do big things, remember?

Stay outta trouble, son.

-M.S. 14

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Dear potential employers,

 

Stop using all the fancy and complicated words and jargon in your posting, it's all bullshit. Just hire me already and we'll skip the song and dance. I'm only going to do half of all the requirements, and very-sub par by the way. You get what you pay for.

 

Dear pizza place. You're a shitty pizza joint, I guess I'm glad you didn't respond.

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Dear banks...

 

really? after waiting all fucking weekend for Monday to come, you couldn't reach a decision to tell us weather or not we have the hoose?!? you haven't told us we have the highest bid? i'm presuming we do though... seeing as you're being wee stinkin' shitey bastards aboot the whole process... all that said though, please can we have it for such an amazing price? i'll make it super bonny and the fact i can bench withoot even leaving my door is just superb...

 

dear seyseysey

 

oh hai...

 

dear pending interview...

 

hurry the fuck up, i can't take much more of this joab...

 

dear oil company...

 

please refund my money, you have quite a lot of it... and i really want to use that to go to London and see A Tribe Called Quest play their first gig in the UK since i was 6 years old...

 

dear symbols...

 

i am jealous of your desire to keep travelling... but please keep doing it and showing us your rather spiffing photographs...

 

Rolf

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dear massive luggage and roller bags

 

go die a painful death

i hate what you've done to airport escalators

 

 

!@#$%

 

 

 

 

 

 

dear cali

 

i travel like a feather

31 countries and i don't own any luggage. at all.

i carry a messenger bag. ghetto but it works.

 

!@#$%

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dear work,

i can do better than you, and i will. you wait and keep giving me bullshit work.

 

dear ex,

shit aint sweet. i know better and sweeter females than you.

 

dear graffiti,

ive never been closer to losing my job or life than when i caught a charge because of you, very recently.

should be in jail now because of you. i love you because you've been the most consistent in my life ever but .. i kind of want to be an adult. i have a college degree from a good place. it's hard. i wanna give you up and be legit but i cant. i know you're still there, much more than any degree or person or business ever will be. life.

 

- inj

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dear inj

 

 

i've caught charges, with my degree, with my serious job

it's a very fine line to walk

especially when shit gets very real and you own a house and crap like that.

 

you just have to weigh the risks carefully

and build a financial safety net

but you can keep doing both, for as long as you can take it

 

retain a very good lawyer who says they will get you cleared

good luck

 

!@#$%

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Dear SMXL,

Yes, lunch in the future is gonna happen indeed.

-SEYER

 

Dear B,

After 2 years you just randomly ignore me. I guess it's over?

I'm not gonna chase you to come back, do what you want. I just hope

you recognize all the things that I've done for you through thick n thin, and

the little to nothing things you've done for me. I'm finally listening to what my friends

and family said- was to just drop you. Things can only get better for my life now that

it's at one of it's worst. So yeah, fuck you and your boring radio show. I hope you

get fired for all 3 jobs that you prized more than the relationship, ya sick fuck.

-M.s. Seyer aka keepinitclassy

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