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Dear ________,


suca

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dear girl who works at coffee shop in ukranian hood,

you open the shop at 8am on sundays. but your almost always late so i stand there with my dog waiting for you. i hate when you are late. but, you are really smoking hot and would get the dick if i was not so dam practically married.

always yours,

mitch

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Guest R@ndomH3ro

Dear shot i just got,

 

You didnt hurt getting it, how come when I come home you are fucking hurting now?! You suck, I hope I dont has the lung aids.

 

 

-Sneak

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dear new car,

 

you better be worth it

i know that your type has had a few problems with the supercharger

i dont want to go replace the entire with a regular 2.6

i like the miller cycle engine

plus i cant afford to do it

 

yours in anticipation of road head,

tango

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Dear Alarm clock,

 

why the fuck were you an hour a head and let me get three blocks towards work before i realized it was early.

 

 

Your worst enemy

Duane Chapman

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Dear 19 year old hardcore kid,

Your dance sucks, and your girl hits harder than you do.

Thanks for giving me an excuse.

That bitch,

Lili St. Cynicunt

 

Dear Bed,

Stop being so fucking comfortable in the morning.

I have been late 4 times this past week.

It's only a short time before the nightstand gets all 'deep throat' about the conspiracy between you and the alarm clock.

Dreamily,

L

p.s. it is perfectly okay to be comfy at night, especially in the presence of guests. mkthx

 

Dear Boss,

I hate that you sit right behind me and can see every time I log on 12oz.

Please note, it's still not stopping me.

Too bad you're not close enough to read this:

HAHA FUCK YOU,

Lili St. Slacker

 

Dear September 5th,

Please get here sooner. Bring money, booze, and friends.

We're going to have an awesome trip out to the Bay.

Love,

Lili St. Shorttimer

 

Dear Church's Chicken,

Thanks for the 99cent chicken Tuesdays.

So crunchy, so greasy, so good.

Also, please try a new recipe for your jalapeno bombers. They kinda sucked.

Fatassingly Yours,

Lili St. Satiated

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