Checking In...

[SIKISM]

Was the skateboard already cracked to begin with? I would imagine that the force it would take to snap a skateboard over someones head would completely anihalate dudes skull and everything in it. Or where you just exagerating?

[shai]

Okay, Cash, I believe you. That's, uh...wow. Awesome? I like guns, but that's pretty wild. Oh, and I had dreads since I moved. It's nice having short hair and everything, although I seem to be cursed with having to cut it right when it starts getting cold (this has to be the fifth time it's happened, but for different reasons).

 

All I know is that the skateboard was in one piece before the guy got his walking papers, and it was in two pieces the next day. Admittedly, I wasn't there so this is strictly hearsay, but there were witnesses.

 

Sounds pretty rugged to me. Hell, if this asshat was dumb enough to brag about having lice to a room full of people, I can't imagine there was much in his head to damage.

 

Fucking potheads.

[SIKISM]

With all your new roommates getting busted (I'm assuming they might be using your adress when this happens) and the tent camp and trash dump in your yard, it aint hard to predict some sort of raid in the near future. Cops pick up on this shit, and the type's of houses you are living in get raided and the occupants hauled off to jail for whatever charges the cops can find and/or plant. Shit... your house actually sounds alot like a whiteboy version of the M.O.V.E people in Philly back in the 80's. They had a standoff with the cops when they got raided and the cops firebombed their crib and as a result burned down the entire block and killing mad people and leaving all their neighbors homeless. You might want to bounce asap. Even if it means couch hopping. Cause if your shit gets raided you're gonna be lumped in with the rest of these assholes.

[HardyHarHar]

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,

Because their words had forked no lightning they

Do not go gentle into that good night.

 

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright

Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,

And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,

Do not go gentle into that good night.

 

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight

Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

And you, my father, there on the sad height,

Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

[shai]

Oh, believe me, I already thought about all that shit months ago. I dealt with all my shady business some time ago, and told everybody else that they really, really needed to tighten up their game...I might as well have been trying to talk sense to a brick wall, for all the good it did. At that point, I figured it was time to set my plans to leave in motion, cut my losses, and wish them well on my way out the door. Which, with any luck, will be sometime early next week.

 

I actually do know about MOVE. But, that was an organization....these guys couldn't get their shit together to order a fucking pizza.

 

I don't really want to speculate as to whether a raid is likely or not. The cops have been to our house, they seem to have a clue as to what's going on....but, there's far worse shit happening in the neighborhood than our little dog-and-pony show. I'm hardly there as it is, and I keep my door locked when I'm not (duh), so I think that minimizes my risk somewhat.

 

I'm going to go pass out soon. I have a lot to get done in the morning, what with looking for a storage space and tying up various loose ends.

[shai]

Wow....Dylan Thomas and Francis Ford Coppola mentioned in the same thread. Channel Zero is getting all literate these days.

[SUR X3]

Hi Shai!!!

 

PS: You should question CaCash, you know those SF bushopper kids are crazy...

[SIKISM]

MOVE was an orgnization and all, but that's not whay they got raided. It was the neighbors bitching about the trash and stench etc. I was just using that as an example. The shit happens all the time just minus the firebombs and notoriety. And just because the cops have worse problems to wory about doesn't mean they aren't just itching to raid a known hippy/punk house the minute they get a complaint. Just food for thought.

[SUR X3]

I've been to Shais house, his is not really the first one that neighbors are going to complain about.

[isor357]

Is it possible to temporarily and unofficially sleep in the storage space.... Kind of like a private, quiet, and safe place you can lock up when you go to work. Keep your things safe and drop a mattress in the back of the garage.....

 

Mind you... i doubt any storage place allows this and i dont know if these places are big enough for something like this. Its just a thought. I wouldnt trust the people living in your ghetto fabulous flop. If this commune falls like it sounds like its doing you should have a back up plan... What im suggesting is the last resort but it gets cold in the bay area in the winter.

[CALIgula]

good luck bro!....i hope you get out of there soon.

[Gunm]

Shai...

 

hey man, sorrry I have been out of the loop. I have been super busy lately.

 

It's insane to read about all the things that have been happening to you since i last saw you. Didja like the message i left on your door? Knuck knuck. Sorry, i was bored that day and frsutrated you didn;t wanna wake up and go get into trouble.

 

Here's the door for those interested....

 

Yeah, you should have let me spilt that hippie pyros head open with a padlock when i had the chance but I am sure there will be other opportunities.

 

If the house is in a decent area without too much noise I could be interested in getting something started. I won't tolerate a party house but something tells me that won't be the case. Hit me up on PM

 

Uhm, yeah, i probably won;t come by the house. I'd probably cleanse it with fire.

 

And I tried getting ahold of you at Hilarity a few times but no one answers the phone. I wanted to strangle half the occupants of that house when I was trapped there by the rain last time. Where are the hot asians? Not there!

 

And i am working in SF now at a real grown up job doing marketing and PR.....pretty cool huh? they gave me my own laptop n shit....no, you cannot install linux on it

 

I'll check my pms later today. i need to actually get to work now

 

lens

[Gunm]

And to everyone else, I have witnessed firsthand EVERYTHING Shai has described.

 

That is except the most recent shit such as the tent city and the juggalos.

[Gunm]

 

I'm going to go pass out soon. I have a lot to get done in the morning, what with looking for a storage space and tying up various loose ends.

 

hey dude, you can keep those ORFN canvases at my house if you want...ha ha

[stunt double]

fuck, i would not be able to handle living in the same house as juggalos. the thought of that makes me shudder...

 

ive lived with assholes before though, just pack your shit, book a removalist, and find a friend in the area who will let you keep your stuff there until all the shit gets sorted, by the sounds of it that shouldn't be too hard. good luck man.

[isor357]

juggalos meaning........? ICP enthusiasts?

[Gunm]

so iwent through to shai's house tonight and it's all true

 

-straight up garbage in the front yard like someone ripped open a rotten bag of food and strewn all over the place.

 

-nasty tick infested hippy tent city in the backyard

 

-filthy kitchen crawling with boutulism

 

-dog shit on the stair case

 

-dirtbags smoking pot

[1988]

So does smoking pot make them dirtbags... Or are they simply dirtbags smoking pot?

[Gunm]

dirtbags smoking pot

 

I mean, real dirty dirt dirtbags

 

 

they all left in a big pack to hop a freight train to roseville

[CACashRefund]

send an anonymus tip to the dept of homeland security that the local al qaeda cell is operating out of there

[1988]

Fuck it, at least they are out of the house now... Hope you're able to solve the rest of the problems Shai.

[ZeroCool]

Toss in bars of soap.

[Gunm]

send an anonymus tip to the dept of homeland security that the local al qaeda cell is operating out of there

 

 

maybe once shai hulud has moved all of his stuff out of there

[CACashRefund]

fuck that nigga

 

 

 

we need to prevent the next 9/11 NOW!

[Gunm]

oh, what are they going to do?

 

ram a truck full of granola and pot into the golden gate bridge?

[CACashRefund]

i want to bomb on the door too but i dont want to be disrespectful

[the man the myth the GOON]

sorry to hear. come join the army with me...

[shai]

So, I haven't been home much. Mostly to sleep when I can't stay somewhere else, and to check the mail.

 

Last night was one of those nights, and I wish I had just steered clear. Some crackhead has been getting bold and coming into the yard to find shit to steal/sell/recycle. Hell, I could tell him that it's futile, but....experience has taught me that my time is better spent on other things than trying to reason with crackheads.

 

I guess he had words with some of the other people who "live" there. Notice that I don't call them roommates, since I don't consider 90% of them roommates anymore, as that implies some kind of understanding regarding, oh....just about everything, I guess.

 

To make a long story short, they're pretty sure he stole a bike, and they were trying to get it back, at which point he flashed a gun and told them to chill. I should add that I wasn't there when any of this happened, this all was related to me after the fact.

 

SO, now they have an angry, armed crackhead to contend with. I didn't really know what to say to that, other than, "Well, that sucks...what are you going to do about that?"

 

I knew that was a bad question, but I had a feeling that I already knew...and, I was right. I guess they want to "take care of it", which would be totally okay with me...if I didn't have all my stuff there, but I do, so I pressed on.

 

"Take care of it...HOW?"

 

"Well, if he comes in the yard, we're just gonna beat the shit out of him, and take away the gun, blah blah blah..."

 

"Wow, that sounds awesome. You do realize that I have to walk past the spot where all the crackheads camp out to get here, and seeing as how they all know I live here, you don't think there's just a slim chance that someone that has nothing to do with this (read: me) could get rolled up as a result of that, right?"

 

"Well, yeah...but, just take another way back. We're gonna handle this."

 

"Right. What if some of them are in front of the house? Did you stop to consider that?"

 

"Dude, they aren't going to do anything."

 

"But, you're not seeing the bigger picture. This isn't a situation that I feel comfortable taking chances with here, and you just went and upped the ante by having that, "I've got something to prove" mentality."

 

"Uhhhhhh...."

 

So, I dont know. I mean, I'm not even involved in this...or am I? Who knows? I do know that I don't want to find out.

 

But, all my stuff is packed and ready to go. I'm just waiting to get some cash at this point...then, I'll be moving out in record time and not looking back.

[serum]

shit with all that crap going on you seem to have your head on straight. id quickly grab the louisville slugger and begin to take each roommate, hippy, and crack head out one by one. then find a new place to live the same night and act like nothing ever happened.

[shai]

I'm not really out for revenge. A couple of people there are all right, they aren't happy with the current situation, either...but, when it comes down to it, all I can do is try to get as far away from it as possible without getting fucked over.

 

That had a lot to do with why I never wanted to be on the lease or have any of the bills in my name. I DID get talked into being on the lease for a month, but as soon as I found someone else that was willing to take my place, I took care of it.

 

The landlady is basically a slumlord. She has a bunch of these marginal properties all over Oakland, and she rents them at slightly less than market value to people who don't really seem to worry about the condition they're in.

 

There's a pattern with my house that I've noticed. People move in/start coming over, and alll they seem to see is the "fun"aspect of it. At first, it IS fun- till you realize that the three-ring retard circus basically never ends...and for the visitors, it's no big deal- all they have to do is go home and think, "there for the grace of God go I," or something to that effect.

 

I've literally seen two people go crazy living there. About 15 people have come and gone in the past seven months- at this point, I'm the longest-standing tenant, and I haven't gone crazy. (This is purely a subjective matter, but I've yet to be proven otherwise.) As a matter of fact, somehow the experience has made me stronger, and made me a lot more resolute in knowing what I want and how I'm going to go about getting it.

 

The trouble lies in the fact that my plans all depend on me having a more stable place to call home to carry them out. Several people have pointed out that it sounds like a cop out when I say that, but I'm pretty sure I know myself better than they think they know me. I think my chances for success are better than even odds in a new place, and some hwere around zero if I don't move.

 

A lot of the reading that I've been doing over the past few months has been philosophy, which is something I haven't been into in a really, really long time. The past year and a half has been enough for ANYBODY, even the most diehard optimist, to shake up my views on certain things, and, well...let's just say I wasn't exactly starting out with a whole lot of faith in the first place.

 

I moved back to Oakland with my ex in May of 2005 after living in SF for a year. I was ready to settle down and get to work on my art, and to finally get back to writing after a long hiatus...I had a job, a nice place, and a relationship that I thought was going to work out okay.

 

So, what happened? I think that the flood in New Orleans had a lot to do with it. After seeing everything that went wrong there, something in me just changed...I don't know, I used to be a lot more involved in activism when I was younger, but as I got older a lot of things started to become less...I don't want to say less important, but less immediately applicable in my life, maybe....I don't know. I don't know if anybody noticed, but I started getting pretty depressed around that time, because I realized that I had sold out enough to get to where I wanted to be, but not so far that I couldn't go back to caring about the things that actually mattered.

 

The problem with that was, instead of either getting past that point and making the best of it, I started to examine what was going on with my life....and I realized I was doing contract work for a law firm that represented corporations that had a LOT to do with the damage in the Gulf States (Chevron comes to mind). Also, my girlfriend was not exactly on the same page as far as where I was coming from as far as my values or concerns were....as much as I cared about her, I realized that she viewed the world a LOT differently than I did when I tried to talk to her about some of the things that were bothering me then, and to some degree are still on my mind.

 

In the end, I just walked away from it all, and tried to get back into activism...but, I realized that a lot had changed there, as well. I didn't feel like I fit in with a bunch of kids that were basically hipsters with a cause....never mind the fact that I had protested the FIRST Gulf War, and knew all of the older people who had been the ones to show them the ropes. The fact that I felt that I had nothing to prove to them, coupled with not being completely, blindly orthodox in my views, didn't make things much easier. Whatever...I'm older, I have the benefit of hindsight and the one thing I've realized is that being able to see the shades of gray has meant that I picked up on a lot of things they're missing out on.

 

I guess where I stand now is not very clear, least of all to me. I don't think I can ever subscribe to a settled, domestic existence where the only passion that I have is for maintaining a comfortable lifestyle....but, there's a lot of things about being this place in my life- where I feel like I have a lot more oppportunity to make a difference because I have less to lose- is not cutting it, either. I keep thinking that the happy medium is out there, and as long as I try to live as true to what I believe in I'll at least have some integrity...I don't know if I'm just fooling myself, sometimes.

 

I'm just rambling...a lot of this stuff has been floating around in my head for a while, and it's not stuff that I think comes with any pat answers.

 

Blame it on Leonard Cohen, the rain, sobriety, entropy, my perception of differences in classical and romantic value...there's a lot at work, here.

 

(BTW, I'm fine. The more I talk about things, the better I feel.)