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5 groups that you probably missed, and your life will never be the same becase of...

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this is a list of 5 bands that 90% of you are too young to have really appreciated back when they were relevent.

 

 

5. guns 'n roses

this really only applies to appetite for destruction, but since that album was such a big deal, its enough to make the list. axl's a jerk off and velvet revolver blows, but in 1987, before the birth of irony, guns n roses were fucking awesome. they were to music, what a friends fathers stolen playboy was to your sexual future. if you never sat in your room with headphones on listening to this record, dreaming of someday being a rockstar, you never lived. ever wonder why everyone in williamsburg dresses like an 80's reject? cause they're all desperately trying to relive the days when this album was new, back when music was exciting. too bad they're all fucking faggots. die hipster faggots, die.

 

4. operation ivy

the funny thing about op ivy, is that ska is gay as fuck. it's a stupid form of music that was cool for about 30 seconds back in the 90's and then everyone realized that getting pussy was way cooler than wearing checkers and pretending to be from england. somehow, amidst all that, the fact that op ivy is totally a ska band is completely irrelivent. they were amazing and they influenced every 'punk' band of the last 15. they're like the sex pistols of punk. if you've never heard them, your life is a shell of what it could be. then again, it won't at all be the same if you don't have two decades of memories attached to it. forget it. keep listening to fall out boy.

 

3. slayer

i'll be honest, i never got too into slayer. back then, before ugly people could make themselves even less attractive and claim it as being 'ironic' and thus attractive in a negative-land sort of way, if you had bad skin, greasy hair and a possible BO problem, you were an outcast and metal was probably your best friend. possibly your only friend. i on the other hand, had decent skin and awesome hair. this left me with a choice in the matter. i chose to have sex with hot girls and take showers. this also meant that i never really listened to slayer too much. i've made an effort in the last few years to try and catch up on all that i missed, but it's just not the same. even without first hand knowledge of what it's like to sit in a basement, contemplating giving your soul to the dark lord, i know that if you werent even alive back then and didn't have the option, you missed out. now a days kids have AFI and alkaline trio as their satanic leaders. how fucking pathetic is that. i like alkaline trio, but they look like total pussies. kerry kring would tear their faces off with his ass cheeks. that's fucking metal.

 

2. public enemy

there's an entire unfortunate generation of people whos sole connection to public enemy is through Vh1 and the (now) almost intollerable flavor flav. this is possibly one of the biggest social and musical crimes of the last 30 years. public enemy is unequivecably the best hip hop group ever, period. if you weren't around when they were at their prime, you missed out on something that will never be repeated.

 

1. metallica

if you weren't already listening to metallica by 88, you missed the fucking boat and nothing i can say here will make you understand just what a fantastic ride it was. it fucking sucks that they keep trying to make music, because all they're really doing is jeopardizing their fans ability to seperate pre-black album metallica, from post-black album metallica. to look at them now, they're complete faggots who should be gay bashed for putting out the aural equivelent of 800 bears giving each other money shots, while having thumbs shoved up their asses and wearing chaps and rollerblades. seriously, they suck so fucking bad now, it's difficult to put into words. but even more difficult is to explain effectively that 20 years ago, they were as good then as they are bad now. they've seen the most dramatic fall from grace the music world has ever known. they're fucking pathetic now and they should be put to death for their crimes against their former selves. total fucking dickweeds. the end.

 

 

 

**bonus entry: bill and ted's excellent adventure. this movie was fucking awesome. if you didn't see it back in the day, you don't know.

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from the looks of things, seeking and I are probably around the same age. use your illusion was pretty damn good though. operation ivy was never hyphy.

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I agree with seeking on Gunners and P.E but I was lucky enough to see them both although gunners was on the Use your illusion tour in early 93.

Um 5 bands? I'm so out of music that they may still be together so

1=3rd bass

2=EPMD

Hyjack =uk hiphop outfits that was pretty good!

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Wow... it's like reading my own thoughts in 12 ounce post form...

 

Michael Jackson should probably make this list, too. Seriously, kids these days only know him as the punchline to innumerable pederast jokes, but if you're older than 26 or 27, you remember when dude was king of the fucking world. Every fucking single from "Thriller" made "Hey-ya" look like a mildly successful record. His fall from grace is second only to that of Metallica (third place goes to the Red Hot Chili Peppers).

 

 

 

 

On a side note, I had the pleasure of meeting Chuck D recently, and he was one of the friendliest and most down to earth "celebrities" I've ever met. And he agrees that Flav is an embarresing parody of himself now.

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did you ever notice how so many hip hop musicians only really have a few albums in them before they start sucking? look at mobb deep, the infamous will always be classic, last i saw they were with g-unit looking dumb. busta rhymes? L.O.N.S. was the shit, now look at him.

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guns n roses always sucked.

 

 

 

there will continue to be musical exceptions to the rule of sucking ass, i hope... but there's certain things i consider more important than others... and i think a good portion of the 90s are a big exception to the rest of pop music history... in that it was the only time that anger, depression, violence, drug use, poverty, etc. were okay to be talked about in mainstream culture. it's almost crazy to think that nirvana, wu-tang, smashing pumpkins, nwa, etc. were as big as whatever cookie cutter pop was out at the time. see, i can't even think of anything... amy grant? ace of base? spice girls? sean "puffy" combs (when he was called that)...

 

 

 

p.s. i don't understand really how mobb deep can work with g-unit because there's a weird 6-degrees thing going on.... mobb deep -> g-unit -> eminem -> dr. dre -> tupac... which seems too close for comfort.

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. busta rhymes? L.O.N.S. was the shit, now look at him.

wack ass fucker cancelled his second tour of australia in two years.

Not that iwas going but the people who got brunt the first time and burnt again must be pissed off!

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Re: 5 groups that you probably missed, and your life will never be the same becase of

 

Op Ivy and Slayer were the ones i didnt listen to and only a little bit of Metallica. me and a buddy saw Bill and Ted in the theatre and at the time it was the coolest fucking thing to me. i thought i was one of the only people down with L.O.N.S. when "Sobb Story" came on rotation. Busta Rhymes actually used to be my favorite emcee before ... well, you know.

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On the topic of alkaline trio looking like pussies:

 

I used to like them abut 5 years ago, they were in Sydney recently, I thought about going, went online to check out tickets, saw photos of them, closed browser and stayed home

 

 

 

 

They do have some really good songs though

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knowing groups and experiencing groups is completely different.

 

Just like people know that some people paint graffiti on clean trains, doesnt mean that they know what its like to actually do it.

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Re: 5 groups that you probably missed, and your life will never be the same becase of

 

 

5. guns 'n roses

if you never sat in your room with headphones on listening to this record, dreaming of someday being a rockstar, you never lived.

 

 

on headphones because when that 'so fuckin easy' chorus comes on you sure as hell didn't want pops hearing it.

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I wasn't young enough to miss them. I just just young enough to be yelled at by parents when caught listening to them.

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personally i would add:

 

Run-D.M.C.

Raising Hell

 

Beastie Boys Licensed To Ill.

 

Slick Rick Great Adventures of Slick Rick

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2. public enemy

there's an entire unfortunate generation of people whos sole connection to public enemy is through Vh1 and the (now) almost intollerable flavor flav. this is possibly one of the biggest social and musical crimes of the last 30 years. public enemy is unequivecably the best hip hop group ever, period. if you weren't around when they were at their prime, you missed out on something that will never be repeated.

 

 

co-signed in blood. it takes a nation of millions was one of the most incredible albums ever created (regardless of genre), from the prison photo on the cover down to the sirens wailing in every track. if you didn't hear it for the first time in 1988 then you'll never ever understand how powerfull this piece of art was then, and still is now.

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licensed to ill is always going to be a classic, although i didn't think it was their last good record. check your head was nice, and personally i think hello nasty was quality fucking shit

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um, i think you're forgetting paul's boutique, friend. easily their best album (followed closely by check your head)

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