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Poop Man Bob

Two Cow Philosophy

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A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows.

You keep one and give one to your neighbor

 

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government

takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

 

A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor

has none. So what?

 

A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.

You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people

into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one

to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted

for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give

it to your neighbor. You feel righteous

 

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes

both and provides you with milk.

 

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes

both and sells you the milk. You join the underground

and start a campaign of sabotage.

 

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The

government taxes you to the point you have to sell

both to support a man in a foreign country who has

only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

 

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You

sell one, buy a bull and build a herd of cows.

 

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows.

The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the

other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down

the drain.

 

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell

one, and force the other to produce the milk of four

cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

 

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows.

You go on strike because you want three cows.

 

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are eleventh the size of

an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk

 

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.

You reengineer them so they live for 100 years,

eat once a month and milk themselves.

 

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but

you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

 

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count

them and learn you have five cows. You count them again

and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and

learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open

another bottle of vodka.

 

A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows,

but you're not sure where they are. You'll look for them tomorrow.

 

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of

which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others.

 

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter

into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon

you have 1000 cows and the American corporation

declares bankruptcy.

 

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.

You worship them.

 

A TALIBAN ORGANIZATION: You have only two cows.

You load them up with explosives and herd them onto

your neighbor's property where you blow them up.

Your neighbor dies. You starve to death.

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Guest imported_Tesseract

GREEDY CAPITALISTIC STYLE:

You have two cows, you feed'em shit in order to produce more milk etc.

You invent 'the mad cow disease' but you dont know yet.

You eat the cow, you're sick to.

 

nice

 

 

No, i'm not vegetarian

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hahaha!!!

 

speak of the devil..

 

 

 

I somehow found my self in the middle of a Fascist demonstration on Saturday...fucked up

Funny thing was I had been showing a friend of my dad's around town all like

 

"To your left is the Colloseum, and here's the arch of Contstantine 315 B.C. that bar is really great, there is the metro station, oh heres the man that checks if you have a ticket..we dont have one so we're going to go now... blah blah blah blah blah"

 

Then we get up the hill "and this is..HOLY SHIT a fascist riot!!! wheres my camera!????"

 

It was fucking scary.

 

Damn fascists....

 

 

GO REDS

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an australian organisation: you have 2 cows. you're too busy surfing to worry about the cows. strangely though there is always plenty of milk and your cows become olympic swimmers.

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