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shai

My Crazy Roommate Lost His Shit, Again

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I don't need advice, for starters....but, I need to get this off of my chest, and I deal with stress by writing about it...I already know I won't be able to sleep tonight. It's going to be long, and I know how much everybody loves my long posts..but, this one is different. It's about some serious shit, so I'd appreciate it if everybody kept that in mind.

 

Some of you already know the back story...if not, it involves a break-up, moving into punk house, and making the best of a strange situation. It's nothing new to me, I deal with this every few years, and while it never gets any easier, I do learn from each experience. Some of them have been harder than others.

 

This one definitely takes the cake.

 

One of my roommates is crazy. Actually, all of us are crazy sometimes, but we deal with it. Except for this guy...in my unqualified opinion, he's basically schizophrenic, and he's volatile and manipulative to boot. I knew that he was on SSI when I moved in, but he has a medical condition, and I didn't want to pry and say, "Are you SURE that's everything I need to know?" I needed a place, they needed a roommate, so that was that.

 

A big reason I moved in was because a good friend of mine lives here, and we had a long talk before I made a decision...the gist of it was that he felt like all the camaraderie was gone from the place, and he wanted to live with someone he knew, liked and trusted, and I fit the bill on all counts. i also have a reputation for getting shit done, and a lot of projects needed to be finished or started and completed. I was more than willing to do this, as I was in a pretty bad way at the time and I knew that working my ass off on something worthwhile was the best way to get my head straight.

 

So, I moved in, and right away I started to notice behavior in the guy in question (let's call him Rick) that were troubling, to say the least. One of them was an inability to focus on a conversation...he would suddenly go off on some weird tangent, and it would be as if he were talking to someone who wasn't even in the room. It didn't bother me at first since the guy is constantly stoned, so I chalked it up to that until I started to pay attention to what he was saying.

 

It had a lot to do with how he felt that there was some kind of conspiracy against him, and how he had connections that would take care of him, etc. He doesn't trust anybody, I learned, and he thought that all the people that came to the house (a bunch of drunk punks 99% of the time) were feds that were checking up on him. For the most part, he thought the other tenants were okay, since we were also under some kind of surveillance-by-default.

 

Then, a couple things happened among the housemates-minor roommate drama, if you look at them from a rational point of view- that set him off. At one point, he wanted to grow weed in the house, and was telling us how it was okay, he had a medical marijuana card, and that he'd handle everything.

 

All of us were flat-out against the idea, and told him that we didn't need any more attention than we already had, since the place used to have a lot of wild shows and parties which pissed the neighbors off. Now that was all over with, we wanted to be good neighbors, and having a pot-patch in the backyard was the LAST thing to do. Also, we live in a bad neighborhood, and we didn't want people coming over the fence to sample the goods uninvited. Then, there was the whole legality issue to consider- we weren't convinced that his card covered the house as a whole, and it wasn't a risk we were willing to take for him.

 

All of this was expressed to him calmly, but firmly. While we were sympathetic towards his situation, the risks outweighed the benefits, and we tried to explain that if there was some way we could help, we would. But, growing was simply out of the question.

 

Instead of saying, "Fine, that sucks for me, but I guess you're right," he immediately started ranting at us of being in on this conspiracy to make him sick and how he was just going to do it anyway whether we liked it or not.

 

Somebody said, "Rick, we aren't against you, it's just not the right thing to do. Besides, you went and got a card- isn't that like telling the government that you smoke pot?"

 

He stormed off to his room, and we figured that was the end of it...till he started posting all kinds of weird notes about feds that rode track bikes and went to punk shows, and how "Cool People" were the ones he was going to get even with. This was accompanied by lots of screaming at all hours, and occasionally by shit getting smashed. Basically, he was acting like a spoiled brat, and not the martyr he claimed to be.

 

We called him on it, and said, "Look, man, this shit needs to stop. You aren't going to get your way, and the last thing we need is for you to act like this. It's causing too much

havoc. You're a grown man, now act like it or we're gonna have to kick you out."

 

Somehow, this chilled him out, and he apologized and promised to make amends. Things settled down, and we all assumed he'd be good to his word.

 

Wrong. It just got worse, and on Tuesday morning he painted a bunch of weird shit on the walls- swastikas, random misspelled shit about loyalty and how friends don't fuck each other, then broke down one of my roommate's doors at 5 am and threatened to kill him with an ax. This dude woke up to this guy screaming his head off, and at that point another roommate decided that it was time to call the cops before someone got hurt.

 

They showed up, and Rick calmly explained that it was all about how this guy ate his food and the situation got out of hand, but he was cool now....so, we showed the cops the walls, and filed them in on how his behavior had been escalating...we left out the part about the plants, since the situation was bad enough.

 

They took him away, and we decided that enough was enough- he HAD to go, and no matter what it took, we were going to get him out of the house. I told them that since the cops were involved now, we had to do things by the book, and that there wasn't going to be any quick fix- we'd have to go through the hassle of evicting him, which meant he could stay for a month rent-free and be disruptive to boot.

 

Nobody was happy to hear this, but I have some previous experience with this, and I said, "It's not up to us, it's just the way the law works." I went online and checked, and found out that I was right. We were stuck, and there wasn't much we could do besides be really careful about how we handled the situation.

 

Around 4 pm, he called the house, said he was out, and that we were all fucked, we should leave before we got back. I went and grabbed my pepper spray and a baseball bat, and said, "I'll let him come in to get some stuff, but if he tries anything, he's leaving this bitch feet first. Who's with me?" I had their back, but the person who called the cops the first place wanted them to be there when he got there....I said it was unlikely that they could do anything since it WAS his house, but to call if it made them feel better.

 

Rick shows up, says, "I just want to grab my bike and my bag," so we say, fine, you have five minutes, the cops are on the way and they are aware of what you said on the phone...he said, "Fuck the cops, they won't do shit...Now I'm gonna stay here, and you better be ready for anything now that you narked me out."

 

I got really pissed, and said, "Fuck you, Rick. We've dealt with you freaking out for a month now, and I don't care what anyone told you, you aren't welcome here anymore. I'm glad for your sake the cops are involved and on the way, because I don't even want to think about what might happen if they weren't. I'm not scared of you, you're a fucking child, and you're gonna be treated like one from now on. I didn't bring this on you, you did this to yourself. Man the fuck up, and deal with what you started, for once."

 

This shut him up, since I had never done this...I had always been the mediator, and the first one to defuse situations. Now I was one of the bad guys...and it sank in.

 

The cops showed up, got our side of the story, then went in to talk to him. At this point the rest of my roommates showed up, and we broke it down for them....half an hour later, the cops came out, and repeated word for word what I had said- if we wanted him out, we had to evict him and put up with the situation in the meantime. We thanked them, and one of them said the best thing to do was to call if anything happened so everyone on the beat would be aware of the situation. I thanked them, told them that I understood, and they left.

 

So, as it stands, he's still here. I have no idea what is going to happen tomorrow, either. I think the point has been made clear to him that he can't stay here, but now that everyone (including him) knows what we can and can't do legally, it's kind of at a stalemate. Personally, I think he knows what he's doing, and he's just being spiteful...this is based on how he dealt with the cops on both occasions, and I'm starting to think getting them involved may have complicated things even more than before.

 

I'm hoping it will all get settled and that he'll just realize that staying here is risky for everyone- we made it clear that any more bullshit will be dealt with swiftly and severely, but if he really thinks he's on the right side of the argument, I doubt that will matter to him.

 

I'll try to keep this updated, but since it's a pretty chaotic situation, I can't promise much. I'll do my best.

 

If you read this whole thing, thanks. Otherwise, I understand.

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That's huge brother. I read the words cops and if you read this thanks, if not I understand.

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i tried to read it, but every time you mentioned living with a bunch of punks i kept thinking 'well, there's your problem right there dude'.

 

seriously though, punk rock is stupid.

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I read it all...that really sucks. Um...maybe you can get a restraining order against him? Or the guy that he attacked with the axe? That would overide eviction rules wouldn't it?

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Guest R@ndomH3ro

Bad situation in your in there. But I would kick his ass out, if you cant feel safe in your own house....then shit.

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^ goodthinking. Also do you seriously think he'd go to the cops if you through him out?

 

*the goodthinking was for ink

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one word: deadbolt.

 

on another note i've been trying to get a hold of you to make a bag so, get at me.

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Guest R@ndomH3ro
one word: deadbolt.

 

on another note i've been trying to get a hold of you to make a bag so, get at me.

 

Fuck that.

 

Change the Locks ---> when he shows up get mad and try to scare the shit out of him, if it doesnt work beat his ass until his Mom cant recognize him.

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nice post. that guy is fucked up. i'd deadbolt the door and have mace by my bedside table. do what they did in some movie (can't remember the name) and put a glass bottle on the door handle of your bedroom so when it turns it smashes on the floor, and then you're up with your mace like what?

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thats pretty wild man..i read the whole thing and all i can say is be careful..hopefully the guy will get the picture that he isnt getting anywhere with the foolishness and he will just move out.

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Apparently, he went to legal aid and got a lawyer, who advised him that he could stay rent-free for up to three months if we filed eviction proceedings against him.

 

The other thing is, we would have to get the landlord involved, and she could very easily decide that, collectively, we weren't worth the trouble and throw us all out.

 

We can't lock him out since he is a tenant...but, if he refuses to pay rent, it makes things look a whole lot better for the rest of us.

 

Restraining orders are an option, but we would have to go to court twice (once for the TRO, then for the hearing) and I seriously doubt that a piece of paper is going to have much effect on this guy. It's also contingent upon the person who was threatened being willing to step forward and file charges, and he's shook up enough over the whole thing and never wanted the cops involved in the first place....I told him that we would really, really appreciate it if he changed his mind, but that it was up to him and we'd support him no matter what he decided to do.

 

If I had my way, I never would have called the cops. But, I know how to deal with them, and whether or not I agree with it I still have an obligation to support my roommate's decisions.

 

Nobody wants this to escalate to the point where it gets physical...but, I have pepper spray and a baseball bat in my room, and if anything jumps off I'd have to make one of the hardest decisions I've had to make in a while...he's still my friend, and I want to believe that whatever is happening is a result of his illness..it's a no-win situation there, but I'm ready to defend myself or my roommates if push comes to shove.

 

Seeking, you're right. But, it was that or a shopping cart...plus, things weren't always this bad. I'm too old for this shit, and I already gave my notice that I'd be out by October 1. I have a few reasons why I'd like to stay, the most important one is knowing I didn't bail out when things got tough.

 

MAR, I'd love to help you, but I'm a little busy right now, and not just with the current situation. Try http://www.reloadbags.com, they're friends of mine.

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put a glass bottle on the door handle of your bedroom so when it turns it smashes on the floor

 

It works better to put an upside down cooking pot on the floor below a baseball on the door handle. You get plenty of noise without covering your room in broken glass. And yeah, pepper spray in every room sounds like it would be key in this situation.

 

Good luck, man.

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tough situation..keep your shit locked up if possible, cause the worse thats gonna happen is that guy is just gonna take some shit and jet...i think if he was capable of having the balls to fight/injure one of you guys he would of have done so allready...best of luck.

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MAR, I'd love to help you, but I'm a little busy right now, and not just with the current situation. Try www.reloadbags.com, they're friends of mine.

 

Thanks! I just got fired today, so i dont think i'll be buying anything quite so soon....:o

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Guest Ginger Bread Man

this is wild. technically he should be behing barsd after the axe situation.

 

good luck, you will need it

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I can't belive i read the whole thing.

 

 

Huge waste of time.

 

No sympathy for you, kiddo.

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I was gunna go back to sleep, Why did I read this?

 

Just get him heated to the point that he swings first. That way you don't have to feel as bad for beating up a retard.

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That's what I'm thinking. He did get the drop on one of my roommates a while back, and sucker-punched him...but, that's before I moved in, and I heard that the guy he punched had it coming to him. So, it's a toss-up.

 

He's made a lot of threats, though, and while I'm not scared of the guy (I have about 40 pounds and two inches on him) it does start to wear you down after a while. I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in a couple weeks- actually, it's easier if I stay up at night studying my computer stuff and sleep during the day now. It's not bad, except when he's on one at three am and I'm thinking, "Do I have a responsibility to deal with this, or not?" So far, he hasn't come to me with any beef, so I just turn up my music and code away.

 

The other thing I was thinking about just now was that if anybody had an excuse to go around the bend here it would be me. In the past six months alone, I-

 

-Lost my job

-Had my girlfriend of two years bail on me, her shit, and stick me with an apartment I couldn't afford

-Lost said apartment

-Had a pretty major falling-out with my dad, who hasn't spoken to me in months

-Ended several friendships that I felt weren't doing me any good

-Found out I may have arthritis, which, as an artist...you get the picture

-Dealt with serious depression and my own vices- namely, drinking and smoking too much

-Had people in my life pass away suddenly

-Dealt-no, make that dealing- with financial headaches and debt

-Tried to make sense of all of the above

 

And this guy-

 

-Lost some food, which was replaced

-Was told he couldn't grow pot in a collective household

 

So, even though I understand that there's other things st work here, I can't help feeling a little resentful.

 

But, on a positive note, I have learned that I'm a lot stronger and more level-headed than I originally thought, and in spite of all the kooky things going on, I've still managed to be there for some folks who needed me. I don't know how I did it, I guess I didn't think about it much. I didn't have time to, really.

 

So it makes me wonder whether I should feel sorry for this guy, or throw him out on the street. It may do him some good...well, it certainly straightened my ass out.

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You should have let him grow pot, then he could have got his own ass kicked out.

 

 

and what's good with your roomate always wanting to call the cops? Fuck That.

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And, I usually ask for what I want. Sympathy isn't it...that's for people who feel sorry for themselves...and, that ain't me. I'm alive, I'm fine, and I did it on my own. Maybe some credit, but not sympathy.

 

It's just a story. I'm a writer, this is what I do. It's free, take it at face value or pass it on.

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