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Movie Anti-Recommendation Thread


fermentor666

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FUCK THIS MOVIE!

i cant believe i actually tried to be serious while i watched it.

fucking garbage.

its a movie about two fucking meth heads who have a bad trip and eventually blow themselves up.

 

there, i just saved you 5 bucks and 2 hours of your life that you could be doing something worthwhile, like playing volleyball.

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god damn fucking awful shit piss fuck. worst movie ever.

 

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in case you didn't alread know that this is awful, i'm telling you now.

 

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no, in fact, i have not seen this. but trust me, it's horrible. i know it. here's a plot summary:

"A Seattle history professor, drawn back to his estranged family on the Oregon coast to execute his late mother's estate, is reaquainted with his best friend from childhood, with whom he has a long-awaited tryst. Caught in an accelerating series of events, he discovers aspects of his father's New Age cult which take on a dangerous and apocalyptic significance."

 

keep in mind the "best friend from childhood" is another man. yeah. they managed to make a fucking brokeback mountain out of an h.p. lovecraft classic. AND they put tori spelling in it. everyone involved with this film, from the studio execs down to the PA whose sole job was to fetch coffee in the morning, should all be strung up by their arms and stoned to death.

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i just saw that new movie Eastern Promises.

 

it was gay. the whole movie is about this dumb bitch and rescuing some fucking heroin baby

it barely has anything to do with the mob in comparison to how much they keep talkin about the whore

and her fuckin heroin baby and the ending was fuckin stupid also

plus they show Viggo Mortensen's balls blatantly like 10 times which i did not enjoy at all

 

and in all, maybe worth a rental, but do not pay to see this in theatres

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i just saw that new movie Eastern Promises.

 

it was gay. the whole movie is about this dumb bitch and rescuing some fucking heroin baby

it barely has anything to do with the mob in comparison to how much they keep talkin about the whore

and her fuckin heroin baby and the ending was fuckin stupid also

plus they show Viggo Mortensen's balls blatantly like 10 times which i did not enjoy at all

 

and in all, maybe worth a rental, but do not pay to see this in theatres

 

 

 

Wrong, wrong, wrong, totally wrong. You have no appreciation for fine cinema. And you see his balls only in one scene, not 10 times. I don't enjoy seeing testicles or penis on screen, but in this case it actually added to the intensity of the scene and underscored just how rotten and dirty the Chechnya mobsters were, by trying to kill a man who is completely unarmed, aka naked. Honestly, if a cock-shot ruins a movie for you, then you might want to consider coming out of the closet, because if it affects you that much, it means that you are being overly-homophobic, which quite possibly makes you gay and just trying to hide/deny it.

 

 

 

Oh, and the Willard remake wasn't THAT bad, it's kind of a good movie if it's 2 in the morning and it comes on cable.

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  • 3 months later...

So one day, my friends and I were bored as fuck and we decided to go to the local Virgin Megastore and I'd rack a and we'd watch it at my friends house. So whatever, we go in

and I've got my heart set on getting gummo cuz mad people have told me to see it. But they don't have it. I ask my friend (who's a skateboarder) and he told me to get the following movie

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I take it and try to leave the store and get caught. Not that big a deal, didn't get arrested cuz it was only worth 15 bucks. But my friend ends up buying it.

 

We watch it as his house thinking it was gonna be awesome...It was prolly the most shittiest movie we've ever seen...I'm banned from that store all for that shitty ass movie. Its all about fucking stereotypes. This movie is utter trash. I honestly suggest nobody ever watch it...This movie wouldn't even be good to someone who even likes skateboarding

 

On the other hand, why'd everybody hate Crash? That was movie about stereotypes that I loved. I honestly rate that within the top 7 movies i've ever seen

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